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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

So, if you ruled the world...

104 replies

JustineMumsnet · 25/11/2008 11:39

What would you do? (in one paragraph!)
We have been asked by RED magazine what our take would be, so I need to consult the Mumsnet oracle. (Guess we should ask Harriet when she comes on too - she should have thought it through at least.)

OP posts:
IorekByrnison · 25/11/2008 12:51

Swedes I like your plans. But all living things? What about rats? Cockroaches? Ebola viruses? It's always the detail that's the trouble.

IorekByrnison · 25/11/2008 12:52

Think IAteAllThePies' plan is best

stealthsquiggle · 25/11/2008 12:57

Iateallthepies I hope you would make sure they all had their coats done up first

IorekByrnison · 25/11/2008 13:05

While everyone was outside running around outside (as per Minister IAteAllThePies' diktat), I might do quite a lot of renationalisation of public services and implementation of environmentally sustainable policies.

Goober · 25/11/2008 13:05

Put free chocolate, wine and decent coffee on prescription for all.

Oi, Mumsnet, is there a prize?

IorekByrnison · 25/11/2008 13:06

outside outside outside

Carmenere · 25/11/2008 13:15

I would take all personal wealth over the sum of 5 million off the rich and use it to orchestrate clean water and food development programmes all over the world. I would regulate this very strictly and lock up anyone who attempted to profiteer from it.
then when everyone was fed and watered and employed in food and water production I would use the revenue from the small tax and insurance rates to implement welfare and education programmes.

Swedes · 25/11/2008 13:18
IorekByrnison · 25/11/2008 13:23

Well I earn £5,000,000.99, and I just don't know how we're going to pay the mortgages under Carmenere's barmy lefty proposals .

ShowOfHands · 25/11/2008 13:25

Rule the world? I can't keep on top of the housework and childcare as it is. I don't have time to rule the world. I respectfully decline the offer of employment. Have you got anything that fits in better with parenthood? Part-time Empress was what I really wanted and if I tweak my CV a tad I think you'll see I'm the person for the job.

ABloke · 25/11/2008 13:29

I wake sanitary ware, nappies, shampoo, hair conditioner, hand cream, and toilet tissue free. I mean, wtf is that all about that we have to pay for these essentials items?

I have a list actually but its only one paragraph allowed.

stealthsquiggle · 25/11/2008 13:29

ShowofHands would you be interested in a Job Share, maybe?

Swedes · 25/11/2008 13:29

Iorek - Give £1 to charity and then you needn't worry so much about the loony left. Apparently giving money to charity enhances your sense of well-being. And so much cheaper than a trout pout.

stillstanding · 25/11/2008 13:30

ShowofHands has got a point. Lot of issues that need to be sorted out. Health and safety? Benefits? Flexible working? Childcare arrangements?

Sputnik · 25/11/2008 13:33

I would ban all sales of arms.
Past arms profits would be confiscated and used to provide free education and healthcare to all those countries which have been victims of war.

Huge investment would be made into alternative energies and other methods of halting global warming.

Countries who ignore UN resolutions would be punished by sanctions and pariah status.

Multinationals who have been ripping off African countries over their resources would be brought to book, and fair deals negotiated.

Then we could all sit back with a nice glass of wine and watch the pigs flying into the sunset.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 25/11/2008 13:55

I would make sure that a viable International Zombie plan were in place.

TheMadHouse · 25/11/2008 13:56

I would put my "out of office" on and spend time with my family

I would actually look at doing something which took away all the working woman guilt that is about nowadays. I would like to offer people the opportunity to stay at home until their children reach school age without finacial penalty.

I would also activly encourage people to be greener, offer grants (rather than these poxy you pay part things) for wood burning stoves, wind turbines and solar pannels. You know we struggle to fund our heating, but we could be self sufficient with a wind turbine and sell back to the grid. All new houses should have wood burners, rather than this carbon nautral thing.

I think that rulers need to be braver and make decisions rather than beat around the bush.

I also think that there is the need for some parents to be more responsible for their children.

NCbirdy · 25/11/2008 13:59

Remove the ability to hurt another living thing beyond the need for immediate survival (ie it is ok to harm a crazed bear which is attacking you but is not ok to shoot someone for touching your girlfriend) and replace with the need to help each living thing survive to the best of your ability.

I think that would actually deal with most of the worlds problems in one go...although it is a bit more God like and less ruler like.

TW - pmsl, your first post had me laughing the second one had me running for the tena

squeaver · 25/11/2008 14:09

iateallthepies' post is the answer!

herbietea · 25/11/2008 14:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BouncingTurtle · 25/11/2008 14:31

I would ban all that reality tv, x-factor, I'm a celebrity shite.
I would get rid of all world leaders who are male (except Obama, coz he is lovely) and replace them with their wives. I would ban all war and convert nuclear weapons into nuclear energy to power the world. I would redistibute the world's wealth to help the poor and needy.
Then I would retire to spend time with ds and let them get on with it.

CountessDracula · 25/11/2008 14:41

I would ban all hand dryers, paper towels etc and make people wipe their hands on their arses

Saturn74 · 25/11/2008 15:03

I'd make it compulsory for everyone to have 'a bit of shush' on a daily basis.
I'd make it legal for parents to throw custard-filled balloons at LEA employees who don't carry out their roles appropriately.
I would pay MPs according to the pay scale used by the NHS.
The role of Prime Minister would go to the person with the highest score for singing 'Poison' on Singstar on PS2. If you can put that much passion into a song in your living room, you'll do OK on the world stage.

Tortington · 25/11/2008 15:05

Healthcare:
free healthcare for all
reduce abortions to 12 weeks.
with the new politics there is no need for pharmaseutical companies to compete and lie about drugs and drug testing.

all will be owned by the people.

home and foreign policy:
i would get rid of all weapons.

Politics:
introduce/reintroduce socialism and the masses owning the means of production. the worlds profits therefore get distributed equally. as things are never equal for the people n power and i am the one in power i get regular walnut whips.

Religeon:
people are free to practice religeon at home or at a place of worship.

no religeon in schools.

Education:
no private inependant or other fancy schools.

english maths and science - core and only subjects until every 12 year old has a gcse - with the right education this should not be difficult.

secondary school would be a-level equiv in the core subjects, and 3 others - 1 frivolity that can be changed yearly - such as art, music or other useless subjects.

if you fail an exam each year you stay behind and do it again. like they do in america...oooh i bet studying becomes more cool than staying back a year.

Higher education is FREE - student loans are banned and the student loans company buildings are burned and a huge annual holiday is created where we have bonfires to celebrate - we shall hold this on nov 5th.

Marriage:
to be done in religeous circumstances or for love - if that floats your boat, but married people dont get any special tax breaks.

SAHPs

if you want to you can. but the emphasis on my new world is work

you can stay at home should you wish until school age (4) then you work

Parenting:
compulsory classes for all once a month.
inc. things that the govt try to force through schools that parents should be able to teach.
disciplin
healthy eating
exercise
talking about sex and contraception with your children.
and more

Benefits:
if you are able to work and cannot find a job, you will attend workfare or further education, as you already have gcse and a-levels before you leave school, your options are to do something more vocational or a degree. - you must pass each term and have good attendance or go onto the scheme below

if however you want to do neither of those things, you join the workfare system, which is keeping the railways clean, tidy and pretty.

if your child is of school age you go back to work. child care is provided. employers are given extra walnut whips for flexi working.

child benefit is means tested.

old people dont get things free just cos they are wrinkley, they too are means tested.

Transport:

all current transport workers will have to go on an intense customer relations "how to be truly helpful instead of a bit Nasty" course. esp railway workers and bus drivers, the latter having to do an extra course to make sure - esp in london.

NO FIRST CLASS these are priority carriages only, for the disabled, pregnant and with children. if any seats are left you can haveone if you are wearing high heals on a journey over one hour.

you can have a car with only one seat spare.

so if you are going to work and have 3 other seats spare - either give people a lift, or get a smart car.

all cars that do over 100 miles per hour are banned, we have speed limits and there is no need for them.

Prisons:

all rpisoners will have adequate quarters, they shall be self sufficient, gorwing their own food and making their own electric.

they shall have access to education, phychologists and other help

there will be no special quarters for child abusers/murderers or anyone else - you all go in prison. if itsohappend that bad things befall you inside. you should have thought about that before

Royalty:
Royalty are shot with the last bullet - maybe not, they have to get a job on the railways.

Housing:
everyone gets a house, more are built, the lesser spotted newt the homeowners are curently pretending they are protesting about - when we really know they dont want scummy council tenants living near them - will have to die - sorry lesser spotted newt - you probably wont be missed - but the human comes first.

The bidding system is scrapped first come first served despite circumstances. as there are now enough houses, the wait shouldn't be too long.

Community work is banned - its bollocks, this money goes to education

ShowOfHands · 25/11/2008 15:06

stealthsquiggle, a job share sounds feasible but I don't drive so will also need a carshare or will have to be within cycling distance of the office/castle/bunker. Or does an empress work from home? I need a swivelly chair you see. And my own stapler. And a water cooler. And office gossip about her from purchasing and the boss's boss who's tried it on with everybody else and she was the only one drunk enough.

Will there be a work's Christmas party too? Because if I've got to decorate the whole world, I need time to locate enough plastic Santas.