MN happy to have posts witb the agenda of normalising child sexual activity.

[Placetobreathe]

I know the thread is in the Sex forum and there is a lot of explicit stuff on there and there generally isn't much in the way of taboo things.

But a poster telling the OP that she should chill out because her 14 year old having sex with a 13 year old is " normal" to my mind is not the sort of agenda MN should be allowing.

Allowing someone who is normalising child sexual activity in the days of grooming gangs, child explotation and abuse seems a pretty irresponsible line to take.

There was one poster that talked about their young step children ‘peeping’ on them when they were having sex, with others saying it’s normal as kids are curious

🤮

Hey Mumsnet, nice one.

Carry on as you are, but don’t pretend you’re helping make parents lives easier or whatever the tagline is.

I know it's the weekend but I'm surprised no-one from MNHQ has replied to this thread.

Hello and thanks for sharing your thoughts. We appreciate why this post caused concern. We'll generally remove posts that appear to normalise or minimise such activity. It doesn’t mean we’re saying every discussion of teenage sexuality is banned, or that there’s no room for nuance. But we do draw a line where comments move from discussing a situation to endorsing or dismissing concern.

In this case, the post was reported by users, reviewed by a moderator, and then escalated for a second look before being removed. Apologies that this process took time. We know these are difficult areas, and we try to balance open discussion with safeguarding responsibilities and sometimes that means erring on the side of caution.

We’re also aware that some users feel unable to post in the Sex topic due to unwanted or inappropriate DMs. Please do report any such messages so we can act on them, and we’re actively discussing what further steps we can take to address this.

We know these are difficult areas, and we try to balance open discussion with safeguarding responsibilities and sometimes that means erring on the side of caution.

You seem to err on the side of giving people the benefit of the doubt, but for these types of things on a parenting site, that’s wrong. There is no real benefit to leaving a post like that up, so just delete it quickly when reported.

We’re also aware that some users feel unable to post in the Sex topic due to unwanted or inappropriate DMs.

As the misuse and taking over of the sex board by men has been discussed numerous times over the years and mumsnet themselves refused to even have a sex board for years because you said it would attract trolls, you know very well that it isn’t just the DMs that are the issue.

Anyone spending 15 minutes having a read over there can see it for what it is.

@BeckyAMumsnet
The post in question did normalise and minimise children having sex. So that's why, if it is general rule to remove such posts then I still don't understand why the post wasn't removed when first reported. And just having just revisited the thread I see that particular posters subsequent post about child sex being normal is still standing.

I think also perhaps better communication from MN when people report posts would be very helpful. After the stock reply" we are looking into this" there is generally a deafening silence. If you decide to remove the reported post then MN informs the poster who reported it but if you allow it to stand then you don't even bother to get back to say you have decided to let the post stand or the reasoning why.

As regards the Sex Board: perhaps some OP's are worried about receiving DMs if they start their threads on it. But I thought the reluctance to start threads on it, to post on it, or to even look at the Sex Topic was more down to the overall perception that it is the home of perverts and specifically men who get off on the content. As a pp earlier on this thread said there should be a board where women can discuss sexual concerns in a safe space and there is something far wrong when an overwhelming number of MNers are uncomfortable using a forum which should be there to provide that facility.

Also, to add to my pp @BeckyAMumsnet, the thread itself is still on the sex board. Do you really think that the sex board is the correct place to talk about 13 and 14 year old CHILDREN having sex? Do you not think the OP would have got real parenting advice on a different board, not one mainly full of unsavoury men. And let’s not pretend it isn’t.

Not one person at MNHQ, who ‘make parents lives easier’, thought this thread wasn’t suitable for the sex board, a board you refused to have for years because you said it would attract trolls. 🤔

We also have to consider whether someone choosing to post a thread about children on the sex board is genuine in the first place. Who really would do that? Would you? I don’t know ANY parent that would.

Unfortunately @BeckyAMumsnet your message is just the same as we’ve had before.

‘Yes we care, yes we’re having discussions, yes we escalated it’ and so on.

Why wasn’t that post removed immediately?

I predicted it would take multiple reports, again, and it did.

You only seem to do anything when people start a thread on this section and multiple people come on agreeing with it. Other than that you simply don’t give a toss.

That hasn’t been my experience.

I don’t post on the sex topic, but I do occasionally read, particularly if I have something sex related I was wondering about, I can often find a thread on it.

I find most of the responses to be quite helpful, from women and posters who openly say they are male.

I have seen occasional posts from a “woman” which are obviously men looking for wank fodder, but they are usually given short shrift.

That hasn’t been my experience.

I don’t post on the sex topic, but I do occasionally read, particularly if I have something sex related I was wondering about, I can often find a thread on it.

I find most of the responses to be quite helpful, from women and posters who openly say they are male.

I have seen occasional posts from a “woman” which are obviously men looking for wank fodder, but they are usually given short shrift.

That hasn’t been my experience.

I don’t post on the sex topic, but I do occasionally read, particularly if I have something sex related I was wondering about, I can often find a thread on it.

I find most of the responses to be quite helpful, from women and posters who openly say they are male.

I have seen occasional posts from a “woman” which are obviously men looking for wank fodder, but they are usually given short shrift.

That hasn’t been my experience.

I don’t post on the sex topic, but I do occasionally read, particularly if I have something sex related I was wondering about, I can often find a thread on it.

I find most of the responses to be quite helpful, from women and posters who openly say they are male.

I have seen occasional posts from a “woman” which are obviously men looking for wank fodder, but they are usually given short shrift.

That hasn’t been my experience.

I don’t post on the sex topic, but I do occasionally read, particularly if I have something sex related I was wondering about, I can often find a thread on it.

I find most of the responses to be quite helpful, from women and posters who openly say they are male.

I have seen occasional posts from a “woman” which are obviously men looking for wank fodder, but they are usually given short shrift.

That hasn’t been my experience.

I don’t post on the sex topic, but I do occasionally read, particularly if I have something sex related I was wondering about, I can often find a thread on it.

I find most of the responses to be quite helpful, from women and posters who openly say they are male.

I have seen occasional posts from a “woman” which are obviously men looking for wank fodder, but they are usually given short shrift.

That hasn’t been my experience.

I don’t post on the sex topic, but I do occasionally read, particularly if I have something sex related I was wondering about, I can often find a thread on it.

I find most of the responses to be quite helpful, from women and posters who openly say they are male.

I have seen occasional posts from a “woman” which are obviously men looking for wank fodder, but they are usually given short shrift.

That hasn’t been my experience.

I don’t post on the sex topic, but I do occasionally read, particularly if I have something sex related I was wondering about, I can often find a thread on it.

I find most of the responses to be quite helpful, from women and posters who openly say they are male.

I have seen occasional posts from a “woman” which are obviously men looking for wank fodder, but they are usually given short shrift.

That hasn’t been my experience.

I don’t post on the sex topic, but I do occasionally read, particularly if I have something sex related I was wondering about, I can often find a thread on it.

I find most of the responses to be quite helpful, from women and posters who openly say they are male.

I have seen occasional posts from a “woman” which are obviously men looking for wank fodder, but they are usually given short shrift.

That hasn’t been my experience.

I don’t post on the sex topic, but I do occasionally read, particularly if I have something sex related I was wondering about, I can often find a thread on it.

I find most of the responses to be quite helpful, from women and posters who openly say they are male.

I have seen occasional posts from a “woman” which are obviously men looking for wank fodder, but they are usually given short shrift.

@yeriknow

I think you have made your point!

Well I don’t quite understand it.

@yeriknow can you explain again please? 😂

The purpose of a system is what it does.

MN created that forum in the face of a lot of people pointing out it would just attract pervs and trolls. Lo and behold it has attracted pervs and trolls, and MNHQ is happy to leave it running like that with no deletions or moderations until people are actually discussing illegal sex acts between children (and even then not deleting until shamed into it).

QED.

I've pointed this out before, but the code is now crystal clear in the MNHQ emails and has been for some time:

'We've deleted that post' = self explanatory. Gone
'We'll take a look now' = we've already looked and we're not going to do anything

It's not fiendishly subtle. Maybe time to revise this approach?

Hello and thanks for your replies. The post wasn’t removed straight away because the moderator who first saw it felt it needed escalating before action was taken. That does take longer, which means there can be a delay before anything happens.

We don’t see every post as it’s written, so reports are important in getting things in front of us quickly. Once this was escalated and reviewed, it was dealt with.

We accept that it shouldn’t feel like it takes multiple reports or a thread here for something to be acted on, and this is something we're reviewing internally today.

When we say we’re looking at a post, that really does mean it’s being looked at. If something isn’t a clear-cut deletion, we sometimes need to take a bit more time to consider things like context or posting history. We always acknowledge reports so you know they’ve been seen - and if you think we’ve got a call wrong and something should have been deleted, it’s absolutely fine to come back to us about it.

I know….sorry!

So MN say the post wasnt removed straight away because the moderator who first saw it felt it needed escalating before action was taken. That does take longer, which means there can be a delay before anything happens.

Why not delete it immediately and then escalate it so it can be reinstated if appropriate?

I had a recipe for parsnip soup mysteriously hidden a few weeks ago, if something like that can be hidden until you’ve taken a look at it (in reality nobody looked at it until I queried it days later and it was restored) why can’t posts like the one in question be hidden until they are escalated?