what on earht are you all doing wih tis suiceide stuff

[FluffyMummy123]

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If throwing themselves into a huge vat of anonymous people when they're at their lowest, then we should welcome them with open arms and do our best to give them emergency support phone numbers etc., but to be greeted with an empty thread would be inhumane and uncompassionate.
We can't work miracles, and we can't be responsible for others' actions, but we can offer warmth and support in as much as we are able, and perhaps 'talking' might help. Perhaps knowing that anonymous people might give a sh*t might help. Who knows.

I have been watching this thread with interest, debating whether to get involved or not.

I agree MN can be an amazing support for people when they feel low and despairing.

Someone who posts " please talk to me, I feel empty" is probably reaching out to make a connection, to get reassurance and hopefully make themselves feel better. I think that's fine.

However, I do have a problem with people who post " I am going to kill myself". IME the genuinely suicidal do not do this. They do not want to be talked out of their plan. They will hide way, go to great lengths not to be discovered, they will often use a method from which there is no going back (eg hanging as opposed to overdosing)
So I find myself wondering, what actually is going on on these threads?

I think these threads are unhealthy, I worry that they would encourage attention seeking behaviour in those prone to deliberate self harm, and I think they can be emotionally draining for those who get sucked into the drama.

Help in real life is ALWAYS available. There is ALWAYS an on call psychiatrist, wherever you live - 24hrs a day, 7 days a week.

Being acutely suicidal is a psychiatric emergency and gets responded to. If people have taken an overdose, been seen and then sent home, that means they have beeen assessed as not needing a bed in a psychiatric hospital and that they are ok to go home.Only a small proportion of overdoses need psychiatric inpatient admission.

FWIW I am a consultant psychiatrist

I agree that the genuinely suicidal do not seek out strangers to warn them.I think it is a huge pressure to put on a paernting site tbh

We had a family friend who attempted suicide when 19. He took a load of pills, and came round to our house to hang out and watch telly. He said nothing about what he had done. He was alone in the world and thought of us as his family. We only realised something was up when he started slurring his words and then losing consciousness. The ambulance came in time.

He was ending his life. He wanted to end it with us. He did not hide away. Thankfully it didn't happen.

When someone feels so low that suicide is on their mind, an email suggesting the Samaritans would be patronising and no help.

'Being acutely suicidal is a psychiatric emergency and gets responded to. '

I couldn't agree more. If you are that low, you need to seek out help that is NOT waiting for SS to ring you back. A&E, NHS Direct24, etc.

But your point is truly salient, tired, because when you get to the point where you are really seriously going to do it, it's beyond a website.

I pointed out earlier in this thread that when you are assessed by a GP - and I realise I am very lucky in that mine has had some additional specialist mental health training - one of the first things they do is assess your substance use/misuse/abuse. Also other medical conditions or medications the individual might be using.

And so I do find it worrisome that some of these OPs feel better from the support they receive here and then put off getting the exigent care they need IRL and/or establishing those contacts in RL that can help them get the RL help they need asap the next time they hit such a slump, or get too drunk or what have you.

That's why I generally stay off such threads.

As someone who has had ongoing issues with ante and postnatal depression, I truly don't feel I'm helping other than to keep encouraging the OP to get some RL help now - which always gets shot down as unsupportive and uncaring. Or to remind people that it's not a good idea to get bladdered whilst on medication for depression or use drugs.

But there it is.

Well, I'm one of those people you'd have never guessed was considering suicide, KM.

Many people, you hear they have committed suicide, and it seems so out of the blue for them.

You'd be surprised how many people are virtuosos of deceit when it comes to the level of their depression.

Men, especially, statistically don't send out those 'cries for help', like women, and therefore statistically have a higher success rate when it comes to suicide.

Mylovelymonster, that is a very sad story and I hope he got some help.

However, that boy knew that by being amongst people he was going to be noticed when he fell unconscious and that you would ensure his rescue.

That is different to hanging yourself in the woods at midnight.

In the case of Objectivity, I don't think there was any point in ringing 999. I don't think she was planning it that very second. She sounded to me like she ws trying to get her ship in order berfore she left.

I think she wanted to hear things like "well, write your daughters a letter for every birthday and write a list of instructions for their guardian"....

You can't BAN people from posting their feelings because it makes uncomfortable reading. We were all encouraging her to get help. That would be no more but no less persuasive than a computer-generated e-mail from mumsnet.

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Icod, apparently men hang themselves and women take a fistful of pills.

GreenElizabeth- apparently this is because women tend to be more concerned with who will find them and how they will be found. Men are concerned by this less so- which is why men tend to engage in suicidal activity more severe ie- jumping off buildings etc.

(this was discussed in a lecture btw- not my own thoughts)

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But on the whole, many who are very suicidal don't want to be found at all.

Until after they are dead.

Mark Speight springs to mind.

I only do knots because of having been a climber.

But I'd probably pick something that definitely will NOT come out once it's weighted, like a fisherman's/ringbend knot.

Did anyone mention copycatting?

Sorry, long thread.

I think attention-seeking was mentioned.

This thread is taking a very bad turn. I'm off. You can discuss useful tactics as much as you like. arf

Oh FGS

You should be bloody ashamed of yourselves- we have people who are actively suicidal on the boards at the moment- do you honestly think discussions like this are going to help them or those supporting them?

There is a difference between actively suicidal and attention seeking