what on earht are you all doing wih tis suiceide stuff

[FluffyMummy123]

Message withdrawn

[NormaStanleyFletcher]

v good - how about a live chat with a professional in that sphere as well

[JustineMumsnet]

Hi all - we've now updated our webguide to include a fairly comprehensive list (we hope) of useful mental health organisations plus we've added a disclaimer to the top of the mental health boards.
Thanks for all the input.

[zippitippitoes]

hereorthere glad to hear you are so much better

x

[lisalisa]

Well - my tuppencehappeny here - I don't feel these threads should be deleted. Once you start deleting threads becuase they are seen as "not what MN is about" or MN or hte posters may incur legal liability on teh responses where do you draw the line?

For e.g. with regard to legal liability - if someone posts that they saw a child being "abused" , should that thread be deleted wiht the MNHQ response being to inform the police in case legal liability is later incurred by not informing anyone and the abuse turning out to be true? Or if a post states that they saw someone stealing from a supermarket but who looked like a downtrodden mum with say 6 kids starving ( extreme example i know) and the MNer didn't report to supermarket staff as she felt a bit sorry fo rperson and uncertain , should that thread be pulled and advise given " tell the police" in case MN and other posters are later guilty of aiding and abetting a crime by failing to report?

of course not, it's nonsense.

When you come to examine the other arguemtn about suicide threads not being "what MN is about" - that's even more insiduous. What is MN about then? It is a parenting forum for us to support eachother. Should all topics about non parenting issues be deleted then as not being "what MN is about"? No. MNHQ has taken the decision quite sensibly to widen the genre of what we may discuss in recognition of the fact that we are a big site comprising a wide band of parents with different interests and areas of concern and that the Site will be more succesful if it covers matters such as ebay, favourite books and good housekeeping as well as strictly parenting subjects. A one stop shop for all your needs/wants /chats etc. So why should suicidal threads be different? Those represent the issues concerning that poster at that time and desesrve "air time" as much as issues cocnering other posters of a seemingly more "palatable" nature.

As for the arguemtn about MNers not being "experts" and that , therefore , it is "not our job" to advise - what utter rubbish. Who here is an expert on the subjects they post on? Very few I imagine. Who here is qualified to post on those subjects. Even fewer. Does it or should it stop anyone posting? Of course not. Threads would be very brief and boring if it were. On breastfeeding threads for e.g. many of us have wide ranging views gleaned from our own experience and perspectives. Should we be informed that we are not qualified to present these views and that,therfore, "it is not our job to do so" or that our views could attract "legal liability" should a MNer follow our advice and suffer "loss"? Again, of courrse not.

And from the sheer simplistic viewpoint of human suffering and compassion, if someone posts on here for help who cares if they are "not that close to suicide or they wouldn't be posting"? Who cares if they are attention seeking or faking? Who really knows how genuine many or any of the threads of MN really are anyway? For that matter many a problem could be made up by a lonely woman somewhere in teh country who is desparate to reach out and connect wiht other mothers and "invents" for e.g. a potty traning problem to connect. Who loses by responding to such a thread? When it comes to serious issues such as miscarriage/death of a child or partner we all ( quite rightly) reach out in support and womanly compassion despite our lack of expertise. Why should suicide be treated any differently?

There is always the option of not posting on a particular thread if it is found disturbing or voyeuristic. You can even hide the thread. But for the person out there with the pills and water, that thread may be the last chance to connect wiht humanity before those pills are swallowed. Would you deny that person the chance to post just because you found it offensive, upsetting or irritating. I know I wouldn't.

[morningpaper]

thanks hereorthere x

[hereorthere]

I'm a bit late coming to this thread/topic but i'm glad the potentially suicidal threads wont actually be pulled. I only found this thread as someone had sent me a text (I'm not really on mn anymore) asking if the suicidal poster was me! (I'm not suicidal nor do I even take anti-depressants anymore so we clearly hadn't spoken for a while ).

I was the poster who attempted suicide on here (it was now over 3 yrs ago!) and I have very very mixed feelings over it all. I completely and utterly regret posting those thoughts and actions and I still feel incredibly bad for those that would have read it and even tried to help. I have to be honest and at that point i was way past (non-professional) help. I only really posted that I had taken an overdose as i didn't want to go out alone (i felt horribly alone). I was ill, seriously ill but couldn't see it. On the other side though, I am alive. Had i not posted I wouldn't be and I now like being alive and i'm enjoying my life, hard as it feels sometimes. When I came to in hospital I began to get more serious help. It's not been without flaws and I know I had some big hiccups along the way but I truly believe that appropriate professional is the only positive way out.

That all said suicidal threads will still come on here (sadly, I wish people didn't get so low) and especially when you already have a mental health topic. It's a fact, people get suicidal, not all but some. I never, for a million years, thought i'd be one of them. Chatting on here DID help but it really has to be along side proper outside real life help. I also strongly feel that others who are also currently feeling suicidal (or have done very recently) shouldn't be the ones offering a shoulder but that has to be their choice.

That probably hasn't helped at all but there you go!

[EffiePerine]

excellent response

DEF agree that this has been an important and (on the whole) intelligent and reasonable discussion.

[DaddyJ]

WHOA, fantastic response there, MNHQ!
What a splendid synthesis of the strongest arguments, and oh so diplomatically put.
I like and agree.

[QuintessentialShadows]

Good.

[ButterflyMcQueen]

yes justaboutconcious

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

Fantabulous, MNHQ

LOL at JV and coddy

[UnhingedNuttersAnon]

Ah, the art of diplomacy at it's best! Looks to be a great solution.

Not you Carp Cod.

[cariboo]

No, with me. In a roundabout way.

[cariboo]

Hey, Cod! Amazing how your typing improves under pressure.

[FrannyandZooey]

smashing
big up MNHQ

[WilfSell]

Cod, are you actually Justine? She is holding a big farkin fish on her profile...

[JeremyVile]

It's great when Justine agrees with me you.

It's like the biggest wet-fish-slam-dunk to your opponent the person you're disagreeing with.

Though am slightly disconcerted by Bocos point about Justines ability to mollify everyone. It's true.

No, she was DEFINITELY agreeing with me and me alone.

[Boco]

Dunno about that Justa - can you test her with some loaves or cods or something?

[MrsCarrot]

phew

[zippitippitoes]

thats sounds like a pretty good response from mnhq and i will be pleased if they do have mental health links ...tho i must say it has been a very long time coming if it does happen, but good to hear it may but they have been promised before several times

[Boco]

Yes yes, I feel agreed with too. And Thinkstoomuch said it was all entirely right too - and she's disagreed with everything i've said, which proves, Justine = Jenius.