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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

what on earht are you all doing wih tis suiceide stuff

833 replies

FluffyMummy123 · 30/05/2008 16:01

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadows · 30/05/2008 21:39

Having used this site for over a year now, this is where I turn if the world seem tough. Should I ever get to the point of wanting to end it all, I reckon I would post here. I dont think getting a slap on my fingers from HQ would help a suicidal person in the slightest. He/SHe would possibly never post again and people would wonder what happpened to her/him.

It would be like Netmums sensorship.

Thinkstoomuch · 30/05/2008 21:52

FIS, my post means you have come out with such a lot of ill-informed rubbish on this thread and it is crystal clear that you have never been near suicidal in your life so I'm not sure why you're posting so much.

Marina · 30/05/2008 21:52

What berolina says is important and specific about people's reactions to threads. You could argue that MNHQ's "duty of care" extends to all posters, indeed anyone reading. Nothing on MN is ever just about OPs and thread contributors.
I don't know what the solution is tbh. I think this site works so well as a support mechanism for people on all levels that it is hard for any of us to see where a line can and should be drawn in cases of extreme fear and distress.
I was saddened to read that the Samaritans only have the resources to answer an e-mail within 24 hours. I could not agree more with pruners that more should be spent on counselling and support services for people living with mental illness.
IMO ideally the Samaritans should be able to offer closed chat online to people who cannot pick up the phone or even speak. So that they get the listening responsiveness and love that is MN at its best....but not spooled out on the web with the risk of random trolling or distressing another vulnerable person.

Marina · 30/05/2008 21:53

People do not have to have been suicidal to be all too aware of the effects of suicidal feelings though, Thinkstoomuch

foxinsocks · 30/05/2008 21:54

err so you have to be suicidal to have an opinion on this? well that's not the way it works I'm afraid

I am posting a lot because I am interested in this thread and I am ALLOWED to have an opinion, just as you are allowed to have one yourself. I wouldn't attack you personally for yours though.

Thinkstoomuch · 30/05/2008 21:54

Oh fine, keep regaling us with such gems as:
"this cannot be the place where people turn for that sort of help", "it is not our job or role to deal with suicidal people" and "sectioning could be your saviour".

Janni · 30/05/2008 21:55

Berolina - I do understand what your DH means and were I still employed as a mental health nurse I would probably say the same. Trained professionals like to think they are the first ones people turn to in a crisis.

What we have heard from those who've used MN when feeling desperate, however, is that this is the first and possibly only place they feel comfortable to come and post their cry for help. From what I have read, the advice and support offered is generally very good.

FAQ · 30/05/2008 21:55

Marina that is true about people's reactions to threads - but then where do you draw the line? I have seen many threads on MN in the couple of years I've posted that have upset/disturbed me/brought back memories I'd rather I not remember. On a wide variety of topics and in the days before the "hide thread" option as long as those threads were in active convo's they were there for me to see and cause reactions with me....

expatinscotland · 30/05/2008 21:56

People are allowed to have an opinion on this matter, Thinks, no matter what their background (and we don't know everyone's).

QuintessentialShadows · 30/05/2008 21:57

Thinkstoomuch, I can see where Foxinsocks is coming from, even though I dont agree withh er viewpoint. However, she is not spouting rubbish. I have never known Foxinsocks to do so (and I remember her from over a year back)

Thinkstoomuch · 30/05/2008 21:57

Sorry, yes of course that's true. But you know how it's always the thickest bloke in the pub who talks the loudest...

FAQ · 30/05/2008 21:57

Very true expat, and no matter what their opinion is. And obviously on this thread opinions are wide reaching. Doesn't mean that one opinion at one extreme is any less valid than one at the other end.

expatinscotland · 30/05/2008 21:57

Now you are just being rude and insulting, Thinks.

foxinsocks · 30/05/2008 21:58

you have a problem with me, come out and say it. I don't have a problem with anything I've said on here.

not that it's relevant, but I have a lot of experience with suicidal and mentally ill people - not in a professional capacity I hasten to add (which is why I don't post on the threads).

expatinscotland · 30/05/2008 21:59

it does when the poster starts getting personal and insulting, FAQ.

QuintessentialShadows · 30/05/2008 21:59

FAQ, I second that.

I especially have problems with threads relating to miscarriage, prem babies and cot death. I stay away from them, as I know I will be a crying shivering heap if I read them. So, I think what BErolinas dh is saying is true for many types of threads.

QuintessentialShadows · 30/05/2008 22:00

erm.... I was referring to the post below about many upsetting threads..

FAQ · 30/05/2008 22:01

well yes since I started posting that some of the posts have become more insulting - and therefore not so valid.

KerryMum · 30/05/2008 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lou031205 · 30/05/2008 22:03

I have started another thread about a particular aspect of all this, as I don't want to hijack this thread, in chat, but I think there are no easy answers to all this.

I wouldn't want to witness an accident, etc, but would feel compelled to stop and assist if I did so. Isn't is human nature to help others if you can?

QuintessentialShadows · 30/05/2008 22:04

I agree that insulting posters usually invalidate ANY point they have made thus far.

Thinkstoomuch · 30/05/2008 22:04

Sorry to get personal FIS, but I feel you've dominated the thread with ill-informed, callous comments and haven't taken on board anything anyone has said in response. I'm stepping away.

FAQ · 30/05/2008 22:05

I must confess (before my new man arrives and I disappear for the rest of the night) I am a little worried that anyone feeling low tonight, even if not at the self harm/suicidal stage, may not post after reading this thread.

berolina · 30/05/2008 22:05

Thinks, IMO FIS's posts have been thoughtful, insightful and not at all insensitive. I actually agree with her about MN in many ways not being equipped to deal with these situations. I do agree with you too, Janni, that MN is utterly fabulous at creating a network of support. For me the sort of immediate life-or-death situation engendered by a posting stating intention to suicide does cross a line, though - particularly as the people reading that post will in most cases, at least initially, be in a position of horrible powerlessness.

Marina makes an excellent point about closed online chat. I did think one solution might be to refer suicidal posters to a group of MNers who had previously agreed/volunteered to be available if possible in situations like this - on a closed area of the site and with a disclaimer. When I thought it through, however, I saw all sorts of reasons why this would actually be a pretty bad idea.

objectivity · 30/05/2008 22:05

I recall having my CBT therapist's email address. We used it to arrange appointments and I mailed that I couldn't face coming in because i was feeling very low and told her I felt I might be HPD.The response- put very sweetly by her - was that she hadn't realised that she wasn't supposed to use her email for correspondence. I assume this is because it cannot be attended to immediately and may discourage service users from seeking help directly and also to protect staff. While I understand this, I would highlight the fact that this was the point I gave up that particular course of therapy. I was very hurt and felt like just another service user iyswim. No that I wanted to be pally pally with any of the service providers.

Additionally, in terms of risk assessment, and speaking only in terms of the person who feels suicidal and not in view of the people that offer support, I suspect that the numbers helped or'saved' far outweigh the numbers who go on to commit suicide because of any ill judged or misinformed comment. (?)