Another thread on 'active' being destroyed

[saraclara]

A parent who posted about her children in care, on the fostering branch, is being ripped apart, unfairly.

This is only happening because her thread appears on active/trending/whatever, so people who have no idea about anything are abusing and judging her.

I've reported some posts, but what really needs to happen in these circumstances, is HQ quickly removing the thread title from active. Some particular branches' OPs need this kind of protection.

Can you please consider this?

I haven't seen this thread but have seen other awful ones. This really needs addressing in site stuff

Agreed. Some forum topics shouldn't appear in Trending or Active. Didn't that happen with the Sex topic when enough people complained?

There should also be a mechanism to ban posters using some sort of 3 strikes and you're out rule. Regardless of creating new usernames. Some people are trolls, some people are just consistently vile.

I've been piled-on before over a post about my cousin's wedding of all things, to the extent I was in tears. I can't imagine what some pile-on victims on MN have been through. It's sheer bullying. This place is becoming more and more vicious.

Totally agree!

Another odd thing that is happening is a new thread and the first response being deleted. So perhaps trolls are easy to pickup. Name changers not so much.

Agree, it started off with some helpful responses then some really unpleasant posts from sad twats.

Yes I read some of the thread and it was quite obvious the poster was asking a question to be answered by someone who knew the answer, not a lot of idiots who clearly cannot read. I didn't post as I have no experience- why would you?

Hi all
Night Watch here
we’ve hidden that thread for now and MNHQ can take a look in the morning.

Agreed @saraclara - mumsnet needs to do better on this

Mumsnet should intervene much quicker in these derail situations where nasty almost vitriolic individuals take great joy it seems in being judgey and opinionated.

Just utterly horrible.

It possibly wasn't helped by her also posting in AIBU though, I can see why it went the way it did as if you'd read one in aibu you would naturally read the other in the same way

Have you also hidden her aibu one?

I can still see it so I assume not
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5261233-social-services

Oh right, thanks @POTC
have hidden that one as well

But what I'm saying is, do enough posters actually go through individual forums? Maybe they do, and in that case, it's all good then. I've just never used a forum in that way myself.

Although in saying that, you can follow a whole topic/forum and then you get notified of a thread being posted, so perhaps if enough people know that and they follow their relevant topics, that could work? Do people use this feature?

I do. Eg. Style and beauty. Step parenting. However I did see the thread in active and didn't realise it was in active. I was shocked at the responses.

Again, you're missing the point. The only reason that those who had read the AIBU thread got to see this one, is because the algorithm put it in trending.

The Adoption boards don’t appear in Active. It should be easy to do the same for the fostering boards and other sensitive topics.

That's good to know. So it's doable.

I agree. MN never used to be like this. Cruel remarks and judgement, it's become a horrible place.

I once posted about nearly falling for a phishing scam, but just in time spotting something that made me question it.

I shared on mumsnet chat thinking it might be helpful for others, and others could also share near misses.

His wrong was I? Basically told how thick and stupid I was by multiple posters. How could even think for a second my post would help other mumsnetters, none of which would be stupid enough to fall for it like thicko me. That there must be something deeply wrong with me not to have spotted it immediately.

I wasn’t particularly attached to the topic, just thought it was helpful but I’ve never started a thread like that again.

I can’t imagine how it would feel to post something deeply personal and vulnerable particularly about your children in care and get attacked like that. It’s horrible. It’s so hard to ask for help when you feel shame and then to have an awful pile on just isolates the person further, which means they are even less likely to reach out for help in the future.

I'm sure IVF doesn't either for the same.reasons

Yes, I use this feature as do lots of others.

Hard agree. This site has gone from a nest of vipers to a tank of hungry sharks. We need to do more to protect vulnerable posters and stop aggressive ones.

@DerekFaker Totally agree. Also what does not help is so many posters seem to treat every single thread as if it's an AIBU, regardless of which topic it has been posted in.

I think the only saving grace on the thread @saraclara is referring to is that the OP didn't get their spelling or grammar pulled apart too. But I had to stop reading midway so that might still have happened.

Morning, everyone. Thanks for your feedback about this thread. It was hidden overnight and we've since deleted it as we just couldn't see that it was helpful for anyone any more.

We must apologise that it wasn't moved out of Active more quickly. We usually would do this immediately with a sensitive thread like this. It's our fault entirely - we were fairly overrun with reports on this thread and it was overlooked unfortunately.

We're always happy to have a nudge though if you ever see a thread going pear-shaped and it looks like it shouldn't be in Active. Please just hit the report button. We're going to look at our systems, too, and see if we can put anything in place to make sure this doesn't happen again.