Another thread on 'active' being destroyed

[saraclara]

A parent who posted about her children in care, on the fostering branch, is being ripped apart, unfairly.

This is only happening because her thread appears on active/trending/whatever, so people who have no idea about anything are abusing and judging her.

I've reported some posts, but what really needs to happen in these circumstances, is HQ quickly removing the thread title from active. Some particular branches' OPs need this kind of protection.

Can you please consider this?

Seconded

Hard agree.

You need to exclude certain sensitive branches from being identified as Trending. This should be extremely simple to apply for a list of branches from a coding standpoint and not require manual intervention.

The safety of posters on the forum should be your priority not driving traffic.

I agree fully with this. That poster was in a difficult situation and went to the right place asking for advice.
She was piled on as if she had posted in AIBU and all sorts of people spouting off with no real life knowledge/ experience of the topic at hand .

Completely agree. Is it now unsafe to post a genuine question without getting judged to the extreme and attacked when looking for sincere help about something specific. It’s taken a horrible turn.

Totally agree. It's become 'shame the mother' thread. Bloody awful.
It was posted in the appropriate place.
Sensitive issues that aren't in more mainstream 'active' topics' shouldn't be a free for all slagging fest!

When a vulnerable person in a horrible and very specific situation is being torn apart, surely MNHQ owes them a duty of care?
If you're going to provide a discrete area for people to post about their difficult social care issues etc, they should be protected from ending up as AIBU fodder.

Agree.

The recent horrible responses on some threads has been beyond comprehension.

Agree. Thoughts are with her x

Agree. That is one of worst threads I have ever seen.

Agree, it's completely inappropriate for a niche and sensitive topic. I've seen it happen on other topics like elderly parents where people who have no idea of the realities give some poor and judgemental advice which is no use to anyone, if not actively damaging to someone who needs help.

Get some moderators or at least remove from active.

Threads like that are putting me off the site.

Agree.

That thread is disgusting.

I agree.

Not at all the same as the thread to which you're referring but I had a thread under a different username in Legal and got absolutely monstered on there from people who thought it was AIBU and didn't understand that I was asking a legal question not a moral one, despite my clearly saying so and asking only for responses from people who knew the law in that area.

I rarely post on here anymore coz I feel like everytime I have, albeit under different names, I've been ripped apart and my posts super analysed. I have adhd and find I can waffle and over share which is like a red rag to a bull on here.
Some people have absolutely no empathy and in real life I would avoid them just from their tone but on here you can't.

Sensitive posts need to be shielded from these sharp tongues as much as possible. Especially when it comes to parents who have ss involved. As many people don't understand that real life doesn't work like it says it does in books or on paper.

And when you're going thru a hard time last thing you need is someone goading you when they wouldn't necessarily go looking for your post in other parts of the forum coz that's "beneath them".

Agree, there’s a few sections that really don’t benefit from being in active, I wish the mn with ND was out of active for the same reason

I could be even more cynical and wonder if Mumsnet is not only failing in basic privacy / safety protection for its users some of whom could be especially vulnerable posting in niche groups with inherent sensitivity - but actually identifying traffic driving keywords on emotive threads…

But I really hope not.

If only we could do this in real life tho ha.
Keep judgemental, sharp tongue and people who speak before thinking, away in their own lane.

Yes, I’ve just read that thread and thought wtf - OP is asking a very specific question and responses are asking her why that concern is her top priority - she hasn’t said it is! Awful thread

It isn't the site it once was. The intellect and humour have become rarer.

Another post to agree that the algorithm needs changing.

Not hard to do just exclude some folders from the active filter - fostering, addiction support come to mind but am sure there are others!

Agree.

I think life in general has lost its humour. No fun to be had anywhere anymore.

I remember a time when I would be on here laughing my head off at posts til I cried but rarely do anymore. Life has got more serious since lockdown.

And I think in general we socialise less. Pubs are closing, more ppl are working from home, work forces are changing, companies are getting rid of staff, so whereas you would go on your break and there would be groups of ppl chatting, now you can spend your break on your own cos not so many staff about. It's all having a knock on effect I think. People are just not as friendly anymore.

Absolutely @saraclara 👏🏻

IMO, I also find it disturbing that there’s a culture on Mumsnet where a lot of posters find it acceptable to bully and post vitriol on peoples threads just because they’re on ‘AIBU’.

I saw a few comments on the fostering thread where posters put “Oh sorry OP, didn’t realise you posted this in Fostering” like it makes it okay to be a bully on other boards. Something needs to be done to change this.

Obviously thousands of people on here are going to have conflicting views on a lot of subjects, and it must be exhausting having to moderate threads, but why do some posters think being horrible is acceptable?

But that does happen in real life. I will only talk about certain issues with people I know well who are kind, knowledgeable and good listeners. Some people have no-one, or who can't talk about an issue with those they know need to look for a sounding board online. MN do have a responsibility to people posting, particularly those in a vulnerable state. They should not be touted out around the internet for views and comments.

Agree. This place is vile.