Private conversations held on MN

[Ohwhatacircusitis]

I thought MN was a public forum where essentially any one with a registered account could start a thread. And the thread was open to anyone with a registered account to join in the discussion .

Why then are " private threads " allowed? Where essentially certain MN users have a private conversation with each other which is being conducted on a public forum? I'm thinking here of the New Fred thread in 30 days, although I have seen other examples in the past.

Surely this isn't what MN is supposed to be about?
Why can't these posters use the private messaging facility or conduct their conversation elsewhere.

Total cliquism vibes.

You could try talking about toast you eat on there instead?

I'm not bothered about joining in. I just don't see MN as a place for cliques.

They’re just groups of people that have found a connection or common interest. It sounds quite mean and disruptive that you’re not bothered about joining in but yet wanted to cause an issue for them in not including you (although they did?) and then bringing it here? I’m just glad people find other people to talk to in whatever way works for them, given the state of the world.

Well that is really helpful of you

So why the deliberate secrecy about the thread by OP?

Why couldn't she give that information when she started the thread? Why be so secretive?

Because it’s a bit like you walked up to a table in a pub and demanded they tell you what they’re talking about. Apart from the fact it’s confrontational and a bit weird, it’s really hard to describe what you’ve been talking about over the last five years, or even hour, isn’t it? Why did you need to know? You know, the other thing people do sometimes if they genuinely want to join in, is just listen or watch for a bit, other than make it all about themselves.

People sometimes complain about this on TV threads where acronyms, nicknames, shorthand etc are used, Mafs is a good example. They pop up on trending when an episode is on. If you watch join in, if you don't, back click and leave. It's not cliquey, I barged in several series in and have been made as welcome as everyone else.

Other threads are also available.

It’s just a continuing conversation. They probably don’t think they need to advertise every time on what they’ve talked about for the last however many months or years.

Actually, I thought that the thread might be about edible toast when I first saw it.
I had to Google "Toast" to find out what it meant.

I have no fashion sense obviously

Let's say they are in a nice little clique (which they aren't) who exactly are they hurting?

There are hundreds of threads on MN for everyone to post on. There really is no need to go around defending everyone's rights over a few people chatting.

I genuinely thought it was about clothes the colour of toast

That's a totally false analogy.
You don't register an account to engage in conversation and debate with people in a pub.
You register an account with MN on the understanding you can join in with any thread you want to.
And as far as I'm concerned you shouldn't need to have to ask what a thread is about because the OP should give some indication.

OP, I started that thread (on this occasion, as it could be any one of 4 or 5 of us that start the thread each month) and I did give you an explanation of what it is about. It is a group of MNer's that have chatted for years. We have had a thread every month for years, so I am not sure why this one has suddenly upset you and none of the others have.

There are a lot of threads/groups like this on MN by people who have been around for years and gone through situations together. We are simply one of them.

None of us ever post what the thread is about because we don't need to put an explanation in it. Those of us who are looking for "Fred" find it, that is the whole point. It is not of interest to others therefore they don't post on it.

There is nothing cliquey about it, it is just that we have all "known" each other going back to 2012 and been through a lot of things together, good and bad, and a few of us continue the conversation on there.

I hope that you are not going to just pick on our thread and that you will now report all of the other threads that have little groups and been running for years. That would be sad though because one of the points of MN is to support each other and that is what our group does.

And yet you could have just scrolled on by.

But, no.

Start a whole new thread about it instead.

FOMO at it's finest.

Jeez.
Because the usual people who post on it would already know.

Look, on the cat thread I linked, I'm not going to write everyone's user name plus the name of their cat(s) in the OP, just in case someone wants to join us.
It would be pointless. And time consuming.

BTW my cats are called Linney and Gizmo. But you don't need to know that, to join us. Just post. And read the thread. You'll soon figure it out.

I didn't flounce anywhere.

You said 'I'll leave you and your mates to it' of something like that'

I've seen those Fred threads loads of times, I've been on here for almost twenty years and I have never felt that they have discriminated against me.

Mind you, the OP now has a thread where people are taking about what they want to talk about, so win for them.

🤣🤣🤣

"And as far as I'm concerned you shouldn't need to have to ask what a thread is about because the OP should give some indication."

@Ohwhatacircusitis well, that's an incorrect understanding of how the site works.

And, you did ask on that thread, and you were told.

The pub analogy works perfectly well, you're not entitled to a conversation with anyone in there if you turn up and don't know anyone. No one has to explain what they're talking about and allow you to join their conversation.

Yes, and you can join in any thread you’d like to, you just can’t control peoples responses to you. But you can behave in a way which gives you a better chance of a favorable one.

OP I mean this with kindness, but you're quite off the mark here and sound like you are viewing things very negatively. It's the sort of thing I can imagine myself thinking when I'm in a terrible grump and feeling insecure (and then laughing at myself utter self-centredness when i look back later!)

These users don't know each other in real life, they have made 'friends' on MN, so a whatsapp group wouldn't make much sense. Being a bit cliquey isn't banned - the group IS open and public and anyone is free to post. Anyone else is free to respond/not respond as they see fit. Any solution to what you perceive as the problem would be incredibly controlling for an internet platform, like a teacher forcing kids to play nicely. Just let it washnover you, it's a nothing.

I started an innocuous thread here many years back under a long departed username, which I believe evolved into a very long running thread. I lost interest after my initial postings but others obviously found a connection to keep things going. On foot of this OP's musings I realise i should now stamp my foot and insist they all stop talking about everything except my original complaint. I'm off to hunt them down.

OP you are being ridiculous. No one is under any obligation to make their thread understandable to you. I've been here for nearly 20 years and this complaint has to come into the top 20 bat shit nonsense I've read here.

It’s actually making me feel quite nostalgic, now and then we need a top 20 batshit contender just to make us all feel like it’s still the same old place.

You register an account with MN on the understanding you can join in with any thread you want to

But you can.
There's no admission fee or initiation ceremony.

You’re trying to dictate the terms of someone else’s conversation. I don’t know why you would do that?

It is like going to a regular coffee morning and getting cross because some of the people already there know each other.

There are loads of conversations on here. Join in with one of them.

Some are long running and arose out of a situation which has since evolved into a chat.

Some are new, and may at some point turn into a long running support group.

When the title is a bit weird, I assume it’s an in joke for people it’s relevant to.

Also, I quite like seeing the long running threads around the place, even though I’ve usually got no idea what they’re about. They’re sort of like reassuring old pieces of furniture. Glad to hear the Freds are still going.