Private conversations held on MN

[Ohwhatacircusitis]

I thought MN was a public forum where essentially any one with a registered account could start a thread. And the thread was open to anyone with a registered account to join in the discussion .

Why then are " private threads " allowed? Where essentially certain MN users have a private conversation with each other which is being conducted on a public forum? I'm thinking here of the New Fred thread in 30 days, although I have seen other examples in the past.

Surely this isn't what MN is supposed to be about?
Why can't these posters use the private messaging facility or conduct their conversation elsewhere.

Total cliquism vibes.

Of course there are outsiders and belongers. The thing is, that outsiders can become belongers, by application of some basic social skills.

I'm on some long running weight loss threads, because I'm on a weight loss program at the moment. Before I was doing that, I wasn't on those threads because they weren't relevant to me. I lurked for a while, then introduced myself and explained that I'd like to join in. And so, from an outsider I became a belonger. And I have really crap social skills sometimes!

Best you don't look at the Christmas ones they've been going for years.

Social media is about sharing a culture, once you've been here long enough you'll recognize posters names you'll know about penis beaker, naice ham, cutted up pear, MN scarf, Korean grandma and the shed, the crow lady,the 4x4 infront of the gates, lovely Wilf and his mum, Zombie (RIP - I miss her posting style), more recently Barbara and the allotment - I might have spent too long on MN over the last 15 years!

Surely you mean quiche?

@TheShellBeach the tummy on the tabby! Oh my. I bet it's so soft and warm.
And those magnificent whiskers on your white one!

I think a lot of people on here really do understand extreme anxiety. I believe quite a few participants of long running threads are on them as they find comfort from the ongoing contact without trying to find / interact with those people in real life. If you look a bit closer you’ll see that quite a few of those threads were borne from quite hard things in common, bereavement, disabilities etc. It’s best not to judge how people found a connection, if they’ve managed to find one. Or just assume the best of people, rather than the worst.

I don't go on social media forums apart from MN. I

And yes, naively I did expect equality on here. Not cliques.

Did you see the link I posted for the OP?
Anyone can join us.

Bugger!

Can it be a naice ham one?

With lemon drizzle cake for pudding.

Op, I am sorry if this has triggered you in some way, but we are just a group of average MNers, who don't know each other in real life, who have communicated for 12 years, starting with another MNer's problems, and my problems and over the year has just fallen into an us chatting about our life kind of thread.

We don't need to put that explantion on the start of each thread, and it hasn't been a problem for the past 12 years, to anyone else.

While anyone can of course read it and join in, they wouldn't know the background of the posters, or our DC, family setup etc. There is a lot of knowledge gained over 12 years of posting and "friendships" made. None of us know each other .

MN is a place of equality, but it is not real life. Every thread is open to everybody.

Should we not be allowed to have our threads because they might upset somebody who doesn't know us and doesn't have our shared experiences? i see plenty of other threads like this and just don't post on them as they are of no interest to me.

And a side of Pombears.

I wonder how Barbara and the allotment OP is. She wasn’t well, was she.

There is equality. Just join in. Find a thread that you relate to, and start there, be it parking related, childcare, work, cake, whatever.

@TheShellBeach frequently read, occasionally post. I love the cat tax posts.

And Pom Bears for afters/dessert (depending on your social class, of course).

My goat ate all my pombears

I did nearly say pom bears....

Jinx. Stop being so quichey

Since I did refer to FOMO.

So I'll need to broaden things here slightly.

Has four legs and a tail, so not too far off surely 😂

Punching cake? Remember that ?

There's a cake thread?

I'm missing out! I definitely want to belong to a cake thread.

OP, I love a good chat thread , start one and anyone who is on here can join it if they want to. Seriously. I suffer from anxiety too, I know what it is like. I have never been part of the "cool clique" in real life. I have never been thin enough, or cool enough, or dressed trendy enough. I get it, I really do, but that isn't our thread x

IT WAS PENG

You can start your own clique thread if you want.Do you have an outing hobby or anything you want to discuss?

I do find some of the TV threads a bit cliquey but I will just barge in if I want to add my insightful views.

But you have equality.

You can go on any thread, and post on it. You may get replied to, you may get ignored.

You have the ability to start your own thread incomprehensible thread that only you and a few others understand.

What you can't do is demand that everyone has to be friends with you, and that people can't have their own friendship groups with their own in jokes. It didn't work in the playground and it doesn't work in adult life either.

You don't get to demand that everyone else bends to your will just because you have social anxiety. That's not how life works.