Op, a significant minority of girls have ALWAYS hated the process of turning into a women. I was one of those back in the 1980s .
if someone had come along to me and told me there was a reason why I felt that, and wanted to be a “boy” I’d have jumped at the chance. I’d have to embraced the chest binders aged 9 , When I was first to develop breast and teased at school, and when they kept growing catcalled by blokes at age 12. I didn’t want periods. I cried and cried at my first period. I hated skirts, showing my body. I started taking sickies when are head of PE (male) decided girls needed to strip completely and shower after every sports lesson . I was petrified and became ill at thought of stripping off. Still hate it. I wasn’t confident, I was shy, felt stupid, and probably in retrospect was a bit depressed
this is not a rare thing. It is so common. Probably because girls puberty hits first before boys, they take the brunt of exposure of changing bodies, and if you’re one of the girl earlier developers it’s even worse. As soon as girls hit puberty changing body shapes put it out there for the whole world to see you are now sexually available for sex (theoretically) and you are constantly under male gaze for next 40 years.
but I, like the vast majority of my peer group overcame these feeling as we got into our twenties, and by late twenties most of us didn’t much think about it, and then later a lot (but not all) did want to have a family and child of our own .
im not a feminine women. I studied STEM subjects, worked in male dominated industry all my life. Never wore a skirt unless it’s to a wedding or posh event and hate it. I don’t paint my nails, wear makeup regularly, and these days I have very manly hair 🤣🤷🏼♀️. I wasn’t even a particularly maternal mum. But I am still very comfortable that I’m a women. I birthed 2 dc, breast fed them till they were 9 months old, have now gone through a menopause - and have a list as long as my arm of “female” biological related illnesses and conditions - this is how I know and accept I’m a women- not because I’m following feminine gender stereotypes.
point is, you can support your trans child without taking them down a route of physical adjustments. Please stop supplying chest binders. And don’t go down the medication route. Yes, I accept your child is unhappy, but this won’t make them happy for rest of their life. They needs to accept their body as it is, and as it changes. they doesn’t need to be feminine , they can still dress and act as a typical masculine child - no where does it say they have to keep to gender stereotypes. But dear god, please don’t assume that this puberty struggle they is going through, is a confirmation that they are trans for the rest of their lives. They might be, they might be a lesbian, they might just be a confused and frightened young woman , give it time, support but don’t encourage and positively affirm. Don’t make it a big deal- it isn’t , a very large proportion of girls go through same feelings and have always done so.
you sound on this post hugely defensive, and gunning for a fight. I’d be asking myself a lot of questions of why I have so much righteous indignation towards women who believe the concept of gender is holding BOTH men and women back, holding us to gender stereotypes we would all benefit form shaking off . Your child should not have to deal with any pressures on how they look, whether they would rather be a girl or a boy, whether they feel the way they think and act is socially more associated with the opposite sex. They should just be able to be “them” . No more, no less . And not try to fit into anyone else’s preconceived notions of how they “should” be