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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Childfree Mumsnetters' Board?

1000 replies

musixa · 24/05/2023 20:10

There's been some discussion on this thread about the idea of a childfree/life without children board, so I thought I would raise the suggestion on Site Stuff

[[https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4811166-to-ask-why-so-many-child-free-people-are-on-mumsnet?reply=126404125

My thinking is that the board would be a safe space for Mumsnetters who, for whether by choice or making the best of the hand they've been dealt, are embracing the childfree life, to discuss the issues that uniquely affect us - some examples I can think of are discrimination when it comes to workplace holidays; planning for old age and inheritance issues, how to cope when your friendship group only want to meet in child-friendly venues; family pressure to have children.

I would also hope it might stop so many threads like the linked one popping up, which often attract goady posters.

I hope you don't feel this is a step too far as a board suggestion and will give it serious consideration.Smile

Page 16 | To ask why so many child-free people are on Mumsnet? | Mumsnet

I already know this is going to be divisive and I'm hesitating before I even type this. I don't mean this in a snarky or judgemental way at all. It's...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4811166-to-ask-why-so-many-child-free-people-are-on-mumsnet?reply=126404125

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
purpleboy · 25/05/2023 19:04

I'm 🤦🏽‍♀️

Paperlate · 25/05/2023 19:28

I kind of resent just being called a 'mum'

I'm a woman too.

8state · 25/05/2023 19:29

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves I expect you are right that a board for people without children would be helpful. I don't think changing the name to womensnet is excluding men any more than the name mumsnet, though!

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 25/05/2023 19:30

8state · 25/05/2023 19:29

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves I expect you are right that a board for people without children would be helpful. I don't think changing the name to womensnet is excluding men any more than the name mumsnet, though!

No, I don't think it is either. My point was rather than changing the name to "womensnet" still wouldn't reflect everyone who likes to use the site so it would be pointless. The name is fine as it is imo.

8state · 25/05/2023 19:32

Peoplesnet?

GoodChat · 25/05/2023 19:33

8state · 25/05/2023 19:32

Peoplesnet?

Themsnet

theemmadilemma · 25/05/2023 19:34

musixa · 24/05/2023 21:16

There isn't really an equivalent alternative forum with a strong, female membership based in the UK.

This.

musixa · 25/05/2023 19:35

It's not uncommon for a product to grow beyond its brand name - take 'Scottish Widows' - you don't have to be Scottish or a widow nowadays to invest with their bank, but they've kept their strong brand identity.

OP posts:
8state · 25/05/2023 19:36

@GoodChat everybodynet? Themsnet is good, looks a bit like the name of an ancient god, or something. Humannet? I really need to do some work, will have to forget about this renaming thing.

FurAndFeathers · 25/05/2023 19:36

EbonyRaven · 25/05/2023 16:02

@PaddlingPoollyColour

Another memorable one was the poster who said she was only on Mumsnet because she wanted to see parents struggling to reinforce her choice to be childfree 🙄😂. Sounds like normal and well adjusted reason to be here.

You don't have to dig too far to find sub reddits or IG accounts on childfree by choice. Parenting accounts get bombarded by the childfree is so much better crew.

This in spades. ^

I have no problem with child free by choice women, OR single women who are as happy as pigs in shite being perma-single/never married. But what DOES piss me off and grind my gears, is this desperation they have to put down married women, and mothers, and crow about how it's sooooooooo much better being single and CHILDFREE. 🙄 And on a bloody PARENTING site too!

As MN said on another thread, of course childfree women are welcome here (as are men,) but don't come here and berate and mock married women/ mothers; trying to make out their child free single life is so much better, and all married women with children are downtrodden handmaidens with no life, who are tied to the kitchen sink. Blathering on about how they are 'free' and 'happy' and not tied down, and can fly off to Paris for the weekend at the drop of a hat, and stay out til 3am partying and getting pissed, and lie in til midday.

That's all well and good, but there's only so long you can keep doing that. Clubbing and partying and getting pissed every week at 40 is not a good look. As someone who is middle aged and been married almost a quarter century, I can tell you I am not remotely envious of any single woman - whether she is perma single or divorced. (Or widowed!) There's nothing to be jealous of IMO. But I don't start threads banging on about how gloriously bloody happy I am being married with children. Because frankly, it would be a fucking weird thing to do! Like I was trying to convince myself. Wink

I had my years of being single, and had a great time partying and clubbing and travelling in my teens, and 20s, before I had children. Also, do these women think that once you're married (with children) that you cannot ever leave the house again - go for meals, go out with friends, travel, go to parties, have a career? Such blinkered, narrow-minded views. Hmm

As I and many others said on a thread the other day (about how more and more women are 'allegedly' staying single,) the single woman who is often portrayed - glamourous, successful, professional, on a 6 figure a year salary, living in a £300K city apartment she has bought on her own, and living the high life travelling the world with her amazing big flash job, is the exception rather than the rule. There are more single women who struggle financially, and don't have a pot to piss in, and crave someone to share life's burdens with, and the financial load!

For someone who has no problem with child free women and os perfectly happy in her own life, you sure did spend some time typing out that venomous diatribe against child free women!

you could just live and let live you know!

I also find it interesting how many parents on this thread hang around on child free subreddits getting offended by them.

I’m child free and I’ve literally no experience of them.
its almost like you’re looking for something to be offended by 🤷‍♀️

GoodChat · 25/05/2023 19:38

8state · 25/05/2023 19:36

@GoodChat everybodynet? Themsnet is good, looks a bit like the name of an ancient god, or something. Humannet? I really need to do some work, will have to forget about this renaming thing.

Maybe we just go 'universinet' as it's for everyone, but then that sounds like a replacement for internet Grin

JorisBonson · 25/05/2023 19:40

PeopleWithAndWithoutChildrenAndThey'reBothOkNet

BodegaSushi · 25/05/2023 19:40

I don't think Mumsnet needs a name change at all.

I do think that people need to understand that Mumsnet has become more than a just a parenting site.

FurAndFeathers · 25/05/2023 19:40

musixa · 25/05/2023 19:35

It's not uncommon for a product to grow beyond its brand name - take 'Scottish Widows' - you don't have to be Scottish or a widow nowadays to invest with their bank, but they've kept their strong brand identity.

Exactly.

it’s almost like some folk are creating a spurious reason to deny the development of the board because the idea of people without children having conversations about things that affect them is terrifying! 🙄

Iyiyiiii · 25/05/2023 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

8state · 25/05/2023 19:41

@GoodChat 😀It's catchy.

Iyiyiiii · 25/05/2023 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Reported

Seriously

Xenia · 25/05/2023 19:50

The trade name is very valuable so it would be unwise to change Mumsnet even though people like I am never say MUM in a month of Sundays - always mummy both when I was little and as to what my children call me.

XXXMangoLassiXXX · 25/05/2023 19:53

Whatt · 24/05/2023 20:44

The difference is bmn are still mostly mothers.

Childfree section on a website called mumsnet. Complaining that aibu contains threads about pregnancy v.v. strange.

Like a atheist wanting a board on an Islamic forum.

Yup

XXXMangoLassiXXX · 25/05/2023 19:55

It would be like going to the Cats and Dogs boards and starting a thread for people who don't and won't ever have cats and dogs and issues like banning dogs. A dick move basically

This.

Jeezuswept · 25/05/2023 19:57

@XXXMangoLassiXXX Do you have any other words apart from 'yup' and 'this'?

Because, I'll be honest, I'm not finding your posts all that insightful.

XXXMangoLassiXXX · 25/05/2023 19:58

fitzwilliamdarcy · 24/05/2023 21:37

The thing that worries me about this is that childfree/childless women are already interrogated and judged so much here - it’s clear that many only tolerate us as king as we don’t say anything negative about parents.

I feel like if we get our own board then we’ll incessantly be told to go back to it and stay there. The majority of threads I’m on have nowt to do with childlessness and I don’t want my experience to be limited to only talking about childlessness (in much the same way as mums probably wouldn’t want to be unable to post on parking threads because they’re only supposed to be on the parenting board).

I would like MN to make it much clearer that these boards aren’t just for mums and that mums shouldn’t be trying to dictate who is allowed to post on non-parenting topics, though.

It's a parenting site. For Mums. Ffs. Why don't you start your own non-parents site? Or join Reddit?

XXXMangoLassiXXX · 25/05/2023 19:59

pinkyredrose · 24/05/2023 21:52

I think this site should be renamed Womensnet, it would make more sense.

Yeah. Then men with penises could identify as women and join us... oh wait!

XXXMangoLassiXXX · 25/05/2023 20:00

Jeezuswept · 25/05/2023 19:57

@XXXMangoLassiXXX Do you have any other words apart from 'yup' and 'this'?

Because, I'll be honest, I'm not finding your posts all that insightful.

I'll be honest. I. Don't. Care.

Jeezuswept · 25/05/2023 20:03

XXXMangoLassiXXX · 25/05/2023 19:58

It's a parenting site. For Mums. Ffs. Why don't you start your own non-parents site? Or join Reddit?

Mumsnet disagrees with you. They've said, countless times, the forums here are for everyone.

Hope that helps! You can chill out now 😀

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