Mumsnet turning into Tattle

[lillie23]

Anyone else noticed how horrible some of the users on Mumsnet are. There are a few threads on here that I have read and some of the users are so rude with their replies, it reminds me of Tattle the way the users just slate and put people down. I think, would they be so rude and obnoxious if you was asking their advice face to face.

Here's an example of what's said on Tattle. This isn't about a celebrity by the way, just a YT vlogger with fewer than 10k subscribers.

""What is the talking about?? Going to the next town to M and S? Maybe if she stopped banging out kids for a living she would have more disposable cash! Hilarious how husband's name only got a knot in it when the cap was bought in!! These benefit families boil my piss! We get 00000 government handouts! Can you imagine the dregs having to solely survive on actually earnings!? Would love to see that vlog!! So sick on my tax paying for this degenerative family and others like them!!
Where are we paying for these scumbags to go on holiday this time? Holiday??!! Phwaahh!
Is it just me or do they all look like they need a bloody good wash?! House looks like it stinks! Kids look like they stink! Need a bloody good hairwash! Actually would fit right in on benefits street (would pay her a few quid)!
vlogger name moaning about getting her 10,000 steps - if she got a job and paid back into society she would smash that! Worked it out ... she claims the kids have 'issues' so she can "look after' them forever and not have to get a job! The 'special' kids will depend on her forever. Ching ching £££££. Still no work for the gummy twat! Can she not see that her and her scummy dregs are what is ruining this country!! Let them just have what they earn!! (Sweet FA) This country is too bloody soft! Also, the scabby kids will do the same as her, absolutely fuck all!"

On the same thread other posters who won't use the primary school children of the vloggers names and refer to them as 'pigs'. A 15 year old child being described as "built and looks like a middle aged woman". A 5 year old child being spoken about "All that's wrong with her is she is overweight, a disobedient arsehole, and talks with marbles in her mouth".

The vlogger described as an "ugly fat shit" and "a fucking skank". 7 year old child described as a "spoilt pig" . Their very normal house described as a "hovel".

"The pair of them can hardly string a sentence together! Almost illiterate! Why document your skanky life on YT when it's so god damn embarrassing! The children don't seem to have a brain cell between them! they have just bred the next generation of benefit halfwits!" - this is particularly hilarious due to the appalling spelling and grammar of most of the posters on the thread!

Picked another thread at random. Again just a minor YT vlogger. "She"s dog ugly" "bet her gusset stinks" "fat greedy shit" "she makes me gag" "I'd love to smash her in the face with a frying pan".

I could go on and on.

That's all far less toxic than MN is it? Where are all the lovely supportive people? What's this got to do with celebrity culture when they're just normal families who vlog?

I can assure everyone here "they're not saying what most people are thinking". Most people are not going out of their way to watch content on YT that they could easily avoid, to online bully adults and children. They're vile people who are obsessed with monitoring every move of minor vloggers to then hurl abuse and demonstrate how truely nasty they are.

If that's the kind of free speech you're enjoying, we'll..

@EddieSteady I know right...absolute cringe.

Here is a snippet from one about a trans tik-tocker; "She's fucking talentless, a sight for sore eyes with that nose and she'd probably gas the place out with her ungodly hobo smell!!"

I really like Tattle. I don’t venture into the influencer threads as some of them are definitely obsessive but the off topic and advice sections are fab. I find it to be a much friendlier, less uptight space than MN.

The mumsnet thread is hilarious and spot on and absolutely no one on Tattle is bothered about this thread, they’re laughing at it lmao. That’s another of the key differences imo; there’s zero humour on MN.

I’ve seen people slag off children of Tattle. Granted, another poster often comes along and tells them that children aren’t fair game, but it’s disgusting.

I hadn’t seen that posts about the persons child who passed away. And yes, I’m aware that posters slag off children on here too, but that’s normally because someone posts about certain incidences or behaviours, they don’t discuss children’s looks/weight/dress etc.

Mind you, this is ridiculous. Mumsnet thread about Tattke and a Tattle thread about Mumsnet - what a sad bunch we all are 😂

I'm not being funny but you yourself have been vile to many posters yourself! Real vitriolic and condescending!

@newjobnewstartihope

That's completely untrue. I have never been vile, vitriolic and condescending.

You, in the other hand, with that personal attack, breaking MN rules ... 🤔

there’s zero humour on MN.

I disagree. It's one of the things that keeps me here, how genuinely whip-smart & funny some MN posters are.

That's true enough 😂😂😂

Love MN mods suggesting reporting things when a big fucking obvious troll post that got repeatedly reported sat there until there were "privacy concerns" like it wasn't a clear ploy for money. If you were to sit there and report things on any given thread you would be here for hours MN. How about your mods do their fucking job and actually look in on these things?

MN forums need a big fucking overhaul IMO. It's not the sweet intimate little forum where the OG's could sit and be brutally honest and you could just let people crack on with conversation flow and NC as they see fit so they didn't out themselves.

The very nature of the internet and social media has changed drastically. Just letting things flow and people hide behind multiple names doesn't work anymore but MN are too busy trying to hold on to the nostalgia of what MN once was that they don't dare change it.

@BitchBrigade you don't need to speak to us like that, by the way. We're fine with robust criticism but please be polite.

We think we're pretty responsive and personal compared to many sites and our moderators are a really kind and hard-working bunch of people who genuinely care. Being human, and generally wanting to give people the benefit of the doubt, does mean that we don't always get it right but does any site? We're also happy to admit when we're wrong and we learn from our mistakes - ask anyone whose been here ages, we've cocked up loads of times!

You might think a post is an obvious troll but we will have additional information that may suggest otherwise. Please bear in mind that we'd rather err on the side of being taken in, than to accuse a genuine poster who's in need of support of being a troll.

We can't see that you've reported any threads, though. If you had suspicions then we'd be happy to look into it.

That's an excellent response MN. I haven't been always happy with the way some threads are moderated but you've addressed these points fairly & made good points.

How about when people beg you to take their own threads down, when they’re being attacked or bullied, and you respond that you can’t do that because of debates on the internet?

I have had this previously under an account I deleted. I begged you to remove it and you said no because this was a public forum and such debates were healthy or some such. Many others have reported similar. It’s people real lives and just because a thread gets you lots of clicks should outweigh their emotions.

The same thing happened to me years ago.

@NunNunNun @Stugs without knowing the exact circumstances, it's difficult to see what happened here but we're really sorry you were upset by our decision. It's never our intention to cause anyone upset. Our 'default' position if you like is to leave threads up where possible but if it was causing distress then it sounds like we should have removed it when you asked. If you want to discuss things in more detail, you're most welcome to drop us a line.

@EarringsandLipstick how very kind of you - thanks! We don't expect people will agree with us all the time of course but we're always open to feedback.

I have no plans to leave Mumsnet (so reported the unsolicited message). While I don't care for the angry, toxic posters, the decent people make it worthwhile staying for.

The MASSIVE difference between Tattle and MN is that the subjects on Tattle can choose to see it or not.

On MN people come here for support and actively want to read responses. The fact some of those (if not most) of them are utterly vile makes it so much worse because the poster can't just choose not to see the scrutiny.

Then there are the posters that latch on to one totally irrelevant piece of info on a post and there is a massive pile on about it from others, the whole thing gets derailed and OP ends up with no actual advice at best or feeling really shit about themselves at worse.

Tattle are similar to how MN used to be if one of their users are seeking advice. Harshly honest but actually supportive and on topic.

I had the same thing years ago too. Under another account.

BUT I know there were numerous complaints on MN at the time about MNetters getting threads pulled because they didn't like the answers and so even though that wasn't why I wanted it deleted - I wanted it deleted because some nasty people piled on and were being really abusive which was really making me feel panicked and anxious - I also saw how difficult it was for MODs trying to balance my request with all the posters at the time complaining about threads being deleted at the OPs request.

Suspected troll threads are difficult. Sometimes a thread is reported because it's similar in nature to previous proven troll threads but could be genuine. Dying children are always emotive as are cheated on wife threads which can run into dozens of threads where posters become hugely invested and it all gets out of hand.

I was around for the Olivers Army threads. And the David debacle. And the poster who I can't remember the name but she had little kids and a cheating husband who'd left and it ran into numerous threads. Mostly with MNetters cheerleading and begging for updates like the OP was someone they knew "so many of us here can't sleep worrying about your OP, please just let someone know you're okay". Lots of people said she was a troll, others said she wasn't. Doubt that we'll ever really know.

I've also seen MNetters rinsed for money by scammers and 'troll hunters' warning others, be deleted.

I don't think there's any conspiracy or mods ignoring things because the site benefits from clicks and traffic. I think A LOT of MNetters develop parasocial relationships with strangers online so champion them and jump on anyone expressing scepticism, as if they're defending their best friend.

And MN has always suffered under the idea that it's the only place that people can get help or support and so is hugely important. I remember when Anyfucker got briefly suspended for being rude and abrasive and posters were changing their user names to variations of AF and you had posters attacking mods and hysterically claiming that without her advice, women in abusive relationships could literally die.

So that's the site the mods are trying to manage. One where for every 'troll hunter' there are many, many more totally invested and accusing MN mods of potentially causing serious harm to someone if their threads get deleted.

It's a shit job where whatever they do, they'll piss people off and have wild dramatic accusations thrown at them.

Many thanks for the direct response. For what it's worth I have reported threads under an account which has been long deleted. I didn't even get a response and I reported plenty of them.

One of the major issues isn't even your responsiveness to reports, it's the way you seem to respond to them handle them. I still think is pretty lacking when regardless of OP's posting history they have spewed some awful vitriol on vulnerable posters, making assumptions, derailing etc, and your only response is to shrug and say they are a long time poster so no harm done OR, where a poster has called something out on a thread, make veiled but pointed comments about other peoples responses which you have just done mine.

While I am on that point, I think publicly giving away detail (no matter how vague seeming) from what you can see behind the scenes like "you haven't made any reports" and "OP's IP address shows this poster is miles away from OP" is incredibly unprofessional - not to mention IP addresses are wholly unreliable with the uptake in VPN usage. Some of the MNHQ responses are actually FAR more impolite than my previous response (which only came across as so vicious because of the swear words sprinkled among it) and I have seen one moderator in particular get quite nasty to people when they are calling other people out instead of nipping it in the bud. In fact it just got peoples backs up and then they started on her!

Maybe trying to keep that fun, personal, jolly camaraderie and "we can see what's going on behind the scenes so have decided to comment publicly and directly in response to a poster," attitude is actually just coming across as incredibly snarky, dated and not in keeping with how much the internet, forums and social media has changed in 23 years since 2000? Because it's not the lovely cozy forum Justine Roberts and Co put together anymore and with that comes actually actively seeking out these posts and posters instead of the haphazard way moderation is being conducted at the moment (which seems to be at any one particular mods discretion instead of the mods following some kind of protocol MN have set out).

@EddieSteady

That's a very good balanced post, you make some excellent points

didn't even get a response and I reported plenty of them.

I've always had a response so that's strange? MN don't necessarily delete but they always send an email saying they are looking into it?

LOL Saint Mumsnet

That is disgusting. Presumably it's now been deleted?

That's pretty tame compared to some of the threads I've seen on Tattle.

I can't find it. The poster obviously thinks it's some kind of 'gotcha' when it would only be a gotcha moment if like Tattle, it was a thread that stayed up and had hundreds of posts joining in being abusive. Then when it gets to 1000 posts another thread gets opened to continue the abuse. That post on MN will have had people say "you're out of order", reported it and it's deleted.

No-one's ever claimed there aren't nasty twats on MN, there are many. But you don't get gangs on threads going on for months talking about skanky fat shits and their thick fat pig children and not one person on the site seeming to think it's not okay to be that way.

In fairness. I'd say more of the critique on Tattle is good-humoured, if perhaps frighteningly forensic from some posters. I could easily screenshot some offensive posts from MN which could be taken out of context.

Any offensive remarks or rude comments about kids are shut down immediately or deleted. If you read any of the (600 odd) threads on Mrs Hinch (for example), the main theme is about protecting her kids. Do I think influencers should be posting photos of young kids in the bath or on the loo? Absolutely not. I also don't think they should be sharing personal medical details for their kids who are far too young to consent.

So I think criticising of Insta celebs who use their kids for monetary gain is fair enough. They deserve their privacy and to be protected. I don't agree with all of the posts on Tattle, as on MN, and people can be just as (if not more) critical and obnoxious on here. Except posters on MN are sharing personal information and looking for support, which isn't the same as actively going onto Tattle to read other people's views on you.

If I was a celeb, I wouldn't expect everyone to like me, particularly if the purpose of my Instagram account is to sell products. Nothing wrong with that, but they're not your best friend, you're a customer.