Mumsnet turning into Tattle

[lillie23]

Anyone else noticed how horrible some of the users on Mumsnet are. There are a few threads on here that I have read and some of the users are so rude with their replies, it reminds me of Tattle the way the users just slate and put people down. I think, would they be so rude and obnoxious if you was asking their advice face to face.

IME tattle users are much nicer to one another than MN can be, a lot more respectful.

That sort of thing definitely is vile and shouldn’t be allowed to stand. There are some threads on there that attract some truly awful people.
What I meant really though was that public figures go into it with eyes wide open. They’re going to attract a lot of praise and a lot of criticism. They made money from their online profiles. They also don’t have to read their threads on Tattle. People on MN are generally looking for support, and get torn down. The most innocuous things get pounced on and ripped apart. It’s horrific, and worse recently.
Having said that, any comments on celebrities children should be removed instantly and the poster banned.

Yet that’s what happened on here fairly recently?

Tattle is alright. MN is ... well. I get a lot better info about MN threads from Tattle than I do from MN sometimes.

I tend to suspect Tattle is kinder because it's not as up itself.
I haven't encountered the trans-obsessed ppl on Tattle yet, either.

The thing with Tattle is it is free for all. They won’t remove a thread because somebody might find it distasteful or because it hurts someone’s feelings or shocks them.

I was following some threads about a high profile news case and I had to stop, because although the info was brilliant, the glee that was barely concealed about the individual getting her comeuppance and comments about her appearance and home and so on just became too ugly for me. So I stopped. But tattle expect you to make that call for you, not demand everyone else stops talking about something because you don’t like it.

It's funny they have the arse about being slagged off when they spend a lot of time bitching about MN.

Who does?

The posters on the MN Tattle thread.

Ah ok, didn’t know there was one. Will have a look.

I do read Tattle, out of curiosity I suppose, but on some threads the tone of the posts is vile. Bunch of vicious bullies targeting people's appearance much of the time or howling with laughter at their misfortune.

I see disagreements on many topics on MN, tons of pointless or pompous bitching and a bit of schadenfreude, but due to the guidelines I've never seen the amount of vitriolic word vomit that spews from Tattle.

Didn't see your post @Thisisthewaywe , exactly.

I must have missed that.

My only experience with tattle was a very small subscribed YTuber who deleted all their content because of the insane level of abuse they experienced on tattle.

And some lovely user said that that they'd seen the YTubers husband on a swinging site and he DM-d them for sex. Of course no evidence provided or expected but Tattlers immediately jumping on it and saying he was a pervert but in a way, not surprising he was looking for action elsewhere because the YTuber was fat and an annoying bitch. And her kids thick.

I only saw it because I Googled them and saw the tattle threads. And they were linked to another very small subscribed YTuber who I watch who also is subject to the most hideous abuse. Including her young children being described as fat, ugly dregs of society.

And her husband mentioned on one video that he'd been in trouble with the Police many years ago when he was young so Tattlers Googled his very common name. And found someone with the same name but in an entirely different area of the country who was convicted of DV so decided he was the same person and is now known as a 'wife beater' with no evidence at all.

These aren't insta-famous people or public figures. They're just people with a very small YT channel. Would I choose to do that? No. But the level of abuse they experience is insane.

The things that get said on tattle are far, far worse than I've ever seen on MN. Hateful, misogynistic and plain nastiness which although MN can be shitty, the kind of comments that people glory in on tattle would be deleted on MN if reported.

I've never seen the kind of body shaming, ableism, and extreme abuse which is often directed towards children, on MN but gets supported on tattle.

I cannot believe anyone is defending Tattle. The argument that they are nice to one another ... give me strength - they are because they are united in their bile & viciousness, against many many people.

I knew about it but not much about the actual content, until fairly recently. In the past few weeks on the MN Tattle thread they were disgustingly offensive about a longtime MN poster whose DD was seriously ill and sadly died. The mocking & laughing (they believed it was untrue) was sickening. The cross-pollination of posters meant some of the same awfulness was repeated here on MN, to the distress of the poster. Since then I have really grappled with using MN at all, and yet there is good, informative, supportive & funny content here, too.

The other thing is that I know MN can be a bit of a time sink but gosh posters on Tattle must have it as their f/t job, the level of detail, cross-searching, timeline creation & so on that goes on. I think they think they are citizen journalists or something. (See, for example, their coverage of JM) 🤨

I'm surprised this thread is being allowed by MN actually as I thought they shut down any mention of Tattle.

There were plenty on here who doubted that particular story, @EarringsandLipstick . The difference is that they (rightly) could not openly say so due to MNs rules about troll hunting. That isn’t to say I disbelieve the poster in question or otherwise, but it’s not as if it’s divided into MN good Tattle bad. It’s just a very different sort of ethos. Is it an ethos I think I personally like? I don’t think so, on balance, but then I’m not totally sure MN is … yet I keep coming back so it must be.

I agree @Thisisthewaywe there was appalling behaviour, deleted threads and really awful accusations - not wanting to open it all up again either, of course posters are entitled to doubt but should report, not air it on the threads, especially in a sensitive matter.

However, while I'm not going to repeat the actual terms used, the level of glee and malicious commentary on Tattle was beyond belief (right down to a mocking adaptation of the poster's DD's name).

MN can be bad, but nothing like that. (And yes, would be deleted).

The other thing was that posters were back & forth between the two sites & clearly coming back to MN to stir everything up.

For me, the inanity of some of the threads here is what gets me ... and yet, here I am and probably equally inane!

And her husband mentioned on one video that he'd been in trouble with the Police many years ago when he was young so Tattlers Googled his very common name. And found someone with the same name but in an entirely different area of the country who was convicted of DV so decided he was the same person and is now known as a 'wife beater' with no evidence at all

They’re very good at Googling a name and coming up with the wrong person which is why they are convinced the daughter of a poster who recently died was Head in a local school and she hadn’t passed away. She was still very much alive so it proved the whole thing had been a lie. And of course the woman who died wasn’t the Head of a local school, her job was very different to that, but because it suited the ridiculousness of the people over there they were determined to believe it.

I knew about it but not much about the actual content, until fairly recently. In the past few weeks on the MN Tattle thread they were disgustingly offensive about a longtime MN poster whose DD was seriously ill and sadly died. The mocking & laughing (they believed it was untrue) was sickening. The cross-pollination of posters meant some of the same awfulness was repeated here on MN, to the distress of the poster. Since then I have really grappled with using MN at all, and yet there is good, informative, supportive & funny content here, too

They’re a disgusting lot. A very sad reflection on humanity who still believe the poster wasn’t genuine and that her daughter hadn’t passed away. But what else can they do when to admit to themselves its true would mean having to accept the truth about themselves. And let’s face it. Who’d want to do that?

And MN trolls is just as bad, especially with TallulahCrustyFlaps announcing she intended to go to the funeral on the 28th and report back to who she referred to as the haterz.

They really are the dregs of society who have absolutely nothing else in their life to make it worthwhile.

Posters on MN mocking childrens appearances or in fact any ones appearance are jumped on. Ageism is deleted if reported. MN is not perfect and has it's fair share of arseholes but it doesn't tolerate a lot of the vitriol that is celebrated on Tattle.

What do you mean? Posters on here accused another of revealing in their child’s death? For money? A fan our person or a poster?

I agree.

Bluntness and plain speaking are one thing.

Nastiness for the sake of it is another. And unfortunately there is a lot more of that on this site in the last couple of years.

I also hate the way some posters on these threads leap on one thing and use it as an excuse to be horrible and/or rude about other posters' children and families.

Regardless of which is worse, surely MN can aim for better than ‘at least were better than Tattle’? Comparisons aside, MN has become a vile place recently. Innocuous things are leapt upon, people revel in picking apart an OP and the actual support is negligible. So ‘better than Tattle’ or not, I just wish people would stop being absolute cunts for no reason.

Wherever you can hide behind anonymity, you're going to get dickhead behaviour, here, and on Tattle.

I stopped going on there after I read some of the horrible thread detailing every move of an Instagram mum who had tragically lost her child. They couldn't even leave her alone in her grief, some of them seemed obsessive.

But… they’re not ‘bitching’ about MN having a thread. They’re laughing at its ridiculousness because it is ridiculous.

I see far less piling on on tattle. The vast, vast majority of celebrity/blogger threads are only saying what everyone else is thinking anyway, but doesn’t have the balls to do so.

I read them both. I don’t like censorship so I know which I prefer at the moment.

And if you can’t spot trolls with multiple long saga threads a mile off you probably shouldn’t be on MN

I'd love to know how you reconcile these views with the vile commentary on a bereaved mother, and actively encouraging posters to go between the two sites & report back.

(I admit, even typing this I'm thinking 'wtf am I doing with my scant free time, choosing to spend it in large part on a SM site!')