The Sex topic - an update on moderation

[YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet]

Hi everyone.

Thanks for all your comments over the past week regarding the Sex board. It’s become clear from the discussion that we needed a rethink about our approach to this part of the site and so we’re going to introduce some rules to help ensure that posters can get the support and advice they need from the board and that everyone has clear expectations of the behaviour we expect.

Posters must be at least 18 years of age - Mumsnet has always been a site for adults but we want to be crystal clear about this for this board.

The board is text based - we don’t allow NSFW (not safe for work) images.

We don’t allow links to any NSFW sites or personal profiles on other sites

We will not tolerate creepy or harassing behaviour in particular from male posters

We’ve also had concerns raised about the ongoing ‘sex chat threads’ including the risks involved with allowing users to PM each other. Our approach has always been to allow consenting adults to make their own judgement when it comes to what they’ll share and, broadly, that is still the case across the site - but we acknowledge there are additional vulnerabilities here that we ought to consider.

With that in mind, we will no longer allow users to ask for or to offer to send PMs for the purposes of sex chat. For one thing, we can’t guarantee that the person you’re chatting with is who they say they are and we can’t realistically safeguard these kind of off-board discussions. We’ve looked at the moderation principles of similar boards on other sites and this is indeed the policy on several others.

We’d also like to address some of your other comments if we may. Last year we reduced the time required from joining to posting on Sex from 90 days to seven. We’ve no plans to change this at the moment because this timeframe has proved to be a sufficient deterrent to bad actors and we believe that 90 days is too long if you’re a new user with a genuine concern. We’d also like to be clear that our commercial partnerships have had zero bearing on any changes we’ve made (nor did anyone ask us to make changes) and MNHQ does not (and would never) post affiliate links to products under the guise of a regular MNer. We may be many things, but we are not underhand!

As with everything, we’ll continue to monitor the situation and we hope these new rules will go some way to reassure you. If anyone has further questions, please post here and we’ll do our best to answer them.

Thanks.

Have you considered putting all new member on pre-mod for their first half a dozen posts on the Sex board? I appreciate this might mean a little more work for MNHQ, but it is something that can definitely be coded. Something to think about, I hope.

This approach is something that quite a few of the other message boards I post on use.

That's a really good idea.

@chipndip's idea is an excellent one! I commend it to the House.

@Clymene and others, Not being like these other Hookup sites you describe,, has been what made MN unique. There is a feeling of safety here, and it was nearly always light-hearted compared to others.

It appears this thread has also been started in the Sex Topic, so there may well be different opinions coming in from their perspective.

I'll just copy what Becky said about this again:

With that in mind, we will no longer allow users to ask for or to offer to send PMs for the purposes of sex chat. For one thing, we can’t guarantee that the person you’re chatting with is who they say they are and we can’t realistically safeguard these kind of off-board discussions. We’ve looked at the moderation principles of similar boards on other sites and this is indeed the policy on several others.

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet - will you be going through the sex chat and deleting all the PM requests on there?

I think that is part of the problem? The false feeling of safety that mumsnet gives users when in reality you have no idea who is behind a username and what their motivations may be. That's exactly why mumsnet shouldn't be used as a sex chat forum.

I presume if people want to chat privately they'd just keep introductions on the thread vague then filter any dms they may get. Or, alternatively as others have said use other sites.

I think this will probably depend on how you describe yourself and your particular interests on the thread - even if you can no longer specifically invite PMs from anyone.

Why on earth have you looked as it such a den of depravity and discust?!

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet

Re. With that in mind, we will no longer allow users to ask for or to offer to send PMs for the purposes of sex chat.

My only concern with this is that by the time a post has been spotted, reported and deleted it might be too late - especially at night, which is peak troll time, and you are relying on the goodwill and availability of the Nightwatch. With no offence intended to the Nightwatch, I do think you need at least one paid, dedicated nightshift moderator on the site (I know this has been said before).

Yeah, this sounds like a really good idea.

I also agree with @BIWI that 7 days is too short a time from registration to posting. Would 30 days not be a good compromise?

Many topics could fall under relationships or health anyway

Yes, this.

'With no offence intended to the Nightwatch, I do think you need at least one paid, dedicated nightshift moderator on the site (I know this has been said before).'

Yep, so mnhq listen. No dms <even though posters perfectly able to disable function>, disallow quoting as although folk wanted it now they don't, sex board off active even though disapprovers will still go snooping, no sex toy ads ever, and oh yes paid mods overnight lest consenting adults chat.

I mean, seriously.

It's a bit harsh of you to single out my comment in that way, @Janiie Anyone who's been here any length of time will have seen the trolls come out to play when the clock strikes midnight - often with dodgy made up scenarios involving children, hoping that unwitting Mnetters will post stories about their own DC. They know there are no mods here at night. Having the site moderated 24/7 would deter those opportunists.

Although it is possible to turn off DMs posters may wish to receive them from other posters just not creepy/pervy DMs from men. Turning them off would mean no DMs at all.

I know she can cope with me poking fun.

I can but I shouldn't have to.

JFC have you read the room? Or any of the threads so far about the sex chat thread?

If you want to hook up for someone else for sex, you use another site.

OK sparking sorry if I upset you. Seriously.

Let's have a truce, you stop quoting me in a mocking manner and I'll do the same in return.

Just give it a rest @Janiie