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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Quote of the week...

397 replies

merrylissiemas · 15/12/2007 21:42

can i nominate this:

I just love rhydian. Dh gets really arsey when i mention i fancy him. He says 'huh, why don't you marry him then'

I don't want to marry him!!! I just want to see his schlong

by lazawreath on thisthread

OP posts:
EffiePerine · 15/09/2008 11:45

from traceybath on the sleb bay weight thread:

'And whats with 'the running round after a newborn' that they also always say helped them lose weight. In my experience newborns don't move very fast.'

here

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1374/607204

littlelapin · 15/09/2008 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hecate · 20/09/2008 18:48

lucykate on this thread

"tantric sex in the real world involves putting the dcs to bed, and thinking that a quickie might be a good idea, but then having to constantly break off from it to, take one dc to loo, sex, get drink for other dc, bit more sex, one dc lost bedtime cuddly, more sex, another dc now needs loo, almost sex, one dc finally asleep but had bad dream, bit more sex, next dc now needs loo, before you know it, its been 10 hours and is now 3am and still no closer to finishing and now chafing a bit."

MNHQ
CatherineMumsnet · 23/09/2008 14:37

And your nominations for this week please........

Miaou · 28/09/2008 15:30

"I could mastermind the invasion of a medium-sized country from the calendar on the front of my fridge. " frogs, from this thread

MNHQ
CatherineMumsnet · 01/10/2008 12:24

Any more for this week please?

Miaou · 01/10/2008 14:49

bump for catherine (slurp)

Inevergivemychildrensweets · 04/10/2008 20:31

WMMC on this thread:

'DD has also learned the following words this week 'fuck fuck fuck' (I dropped a kettle of boiling water down my front, 'stupid man' (driving) and 'kill squirrel kill!''

MNHQ
CatherineMumsnet · 08/10/2008 10:26

Hello all (thanks for bumping last week Miaou!). Can I have your nominations for this week please?

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 08/10/2008 16:13

Mumoverseas clarifying her view on sleeping with a woman, and whether it is adultery if nothing is penetrating:

By mumoverseas on Wed 08-Oct-08 10:10:08

obviously I meant I'd be wearing his testicles as earrings!) He doesn't wear earings! (pregnant blonde moment!)

this thread

Total pmsl

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 08/10/2008 16:17

Oh, I think I must withdraw my nomination, as the thread has turned out a disgrace.

finknottle · 08/10/2008 16:30

JuneBugJen:

"The woman beside me in Bodypump (dont ask) was wearing the shortest gym shorts ever and I was able to conclude the following during the abdominal crunch section:

-that she was not a real blonde
-that her fanjo was peckish as it was devouring said shorts.

It was not pretty, like a warped scene from that song Valerie. Has anyone else been traumatised by such as thing? (including swimwear?)"

from here

For some reason the "(including swimwear)" in careful brackets made me laugh even more.

MNHQ
CatherineMumsnet · 15/10/2008 09:50

Hi all, any more nominations please?

Flightattendant2 · 15/10/2008 15:20

The healthy snack thread has some interesting suggestions

ici

MNHQ
GeraldineMumsnet · 22/10/2008 10:34

Inviting nominations for latest quote of the week. No bribes rewards, just the respect of your peers

hunkermunker · 26/10/2008 23:24

By CHOCOLATEPEANUT on Sun 26-Oct-08 22:10:15
my dad says mataland

like its more than a shop...

From - oh, hang on, didn't get the thread.

hunkermunker · 26/10/2008 23:24

mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/635348-What-do-your-parents-inlaws-mispronounce-that-drives-you-irrationally

pumpkinscantdancethetango · 26/10/2008 23:44

By NewspiritsFromOldghosts on Thu 23-Oct-08 11:09:21
Fucking cunting fuckwits.

Right, i am now not allowed my money back (the credit balance) as they have not read my meter since sept and they are saying i might be lying about it being MY money?? WTF!

I WANT TO SWITCH LET ME GO!!

Christ, i feel like Nelson Mandela, there'll be a song about in the charts next

Freeeeeeee, free me from British Gas.....

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo · 27/10/2008 19:24

By LenniEd on Mon 27-Oct-08 19:02:37

on this thread

Ouch!

ewwwmy2shoesarefullofblood · 29/10/2008 18:01

By SummatAnNowt on Wed 29-Oct-08 17:59:30
I think the problem lies in the mumsnet style of parenting. Some people are forced to wean off the fuck and on to some pureed words and some of us have been left to self-wean.

from this thread

padboz · 31/10/2008 11:01

too late to post this? its quite long too, but its great!

by Shitemum, describing mumsnet

'I imagine it as a sort of vast warehouse (like at the end of Indiana Jones where they dump the holy grail in a place full to the roof with other relics on shelves as far as the eye can see).
So this vast warehouse is full of women and the odd man, standing, sitting, lounging on all sorts of furniture, bean bags or just on the floor, in 2 and 3s, groups or big massive huddles, there are also people sitting alone (the unanswered threads). Some people are crying, some arguing, others are laughing, some are angry ...quite a few are eating chocolate and drinking wine, some are on stronger stuff. Occasionally a child wanders in and is taken back to bed, or a baby starts crying and someone has to leave...there are babies being fed too and new-borns being toasted...

There is a great hum of voices, snatches of music, there are screens showing the links to YouTube, reams of paper detailing WHO recommendations....recipes for lemon drizzle cake and victoria spongue

And it just goes on and on as far as the eye can see...!

padboz · 31/10/2008 11:02

sorry, didn't mention the thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/636808-I-39-m-trying-to-explain-what-mumsnet-is-to

Does anyone else toast thier newborn? what does it smell like?

Milliways · 02/11/2008 22:46

By TwinsetandPearls here

"He wasa nightmare between about 2 and 4ish, humped everything. Infact he loved dd toy horse which was about his size as if pressure was applied in the correct place it would neigh which I think the dog took as a compliment. he used to shag it on the dining table in front of the window in our dining room. Sometimes I would be working in my study upstairs and I could see people outside looking at out house in shock/ amusement I would know the dog was at it again and sure enough that neigh would follow. I can remember once dd dragging the said horse into the room where I was entertaining guests and she annouced "Mummy the horse smells of spunk again"

However despite the fact my cat has no bollocks it regularly tries to shag my springer.

RubySlippers · 05/11/2008 15:09

this is funny

"Dimbleby looked & sounded like a PCC member who'd been roped into chairing a meeting because the chair had put his back out again and he'd really rather be at home tending to his bonsai trees and watching Countdown".

Finknottle on the BBC's American Election Coverage from this thread you will blub when you hear ...

BouncingTurtle · 11/11/2008 17:20

This quote from Boco made me PMSL!

'Do you mean people who are vegetarian but 'meet' chicken and fish? as in a social capacity, for a drink or to see a film or maybe a nice walk?, but don't actually eat them? Because if they turned around and ate them, they wouldn't be a vegetarian, but if they see them safely home afterwards then I think it's fine.'

From this thread