Mumsnet needs your best parenting tips!

[Justine (mumsnet)]

As part of the publicity for our forthcoming TV extravaganza - Mums the Word on Discovery Health (due on Nov 8th) - we are putting together a piece for the Guardian on mums' the top tips/ advice/ mantras from the parenting front line. It's supposed to be fairly light-hearted and witty - which is where you come in - and can be anything from something you wish you'd known much earlier to a really practical solution to an everyday parenting problem that you never would have dreamed would have worked before you'd tried it. The idea is to be a bit more colourful/ amusing than our usual daily tip on the home page so feel free to embellish a bit and use anecdotes. Many thanks in advance - can't wait to see them.

dont let them trick you into bed sharing (unless YOU want to) cleveler little things in getting their own way and you getting no sleep or snuggles with dp

sudocreme daubed all over doors and carpets is just their 'artistic endeavours'.. and should be encouraged!!

Mumsnet results in neglected, children addicted to cable TV who always look for you at the PC first if they want you.

sometimes making up a bottle is actually less hassle mentally than breastfeeding.

Soupdragon, oh no, my ds does that too!

But soupy..mn teaches children to be computer aware!
'get off the computer mummy' (says ds aged 2, when I am on MN)

underwired bras can hold a surprising amount of sick. stick with the floppy sort

lol www! ds's toys are mostly boxes, lids and the catflap. Best watch out.

My tip is: never mind vests and pants, you can never have enough flannels! Baby wipes just can't cut it when t comes to removing dried-on snot, didn't-smell-it-soon-enough poo and yoghurt. Lots of pants are handy too though. And socks.

Also dummies are in fact the greatest invention of all time.

If you give in to your childs pleas for a pet, accept that it will be YOU that cares for it- however much they promise to feed it, clean it out or take it for walks!

Don't ever go to the toilet for a emm 'number 2' when your children are around...
It will be an unpleasant/unsatisfactory and rushed affair...
Save it until they are asleep (and get constipated!)

Breast-feeding is harder (and more painful) than it looks.

Children can remember the swear words you've uttered accidentally in their presence better than they can remember to say please and thank you.

No one warned me singing (wheels on the bus in public, without embarrassment)would be such an essential part of parenting...

Similar to Newton's 3rd Law, for everything in parenthood there is an opposite opinion - trust yourself - not your mother-in-law!

hear hear! TRUST YOURSELF! YOU KNOW BEST!

Banana stains brown and comes out the other end of a baby looking like spinach.

If you've got upset by a parenting book, go and look at the shelves full of them in your nearest book shop. If any book had all the answers, there'd only be one.

If the book or article you are reading contains the words 'the baby will do X' or 'you will feel Y', chuck it. Or go through it with a biro replacing 'will' with 'might'.

Labour is different for everybody. So is parenthood.

Giving birth does not necessarily have any great meaning. I feel I bonded with my ds when I was 7 weeks pregnant and the birth was an upsetting but temporary interruption to our relationship.

Never wake a sleeping baby... unless it's got jaundice.

If your baby is crying, feed them. Even if they're not really interested, it allows you to think clearly about what else could be wrong.

Haven't read all this, but has anyone said - join mumsnet - now that is a top parenting tip!!

Going with the banana thing.... poo after their first banana has black bits in it and you'll think something is seriously wrong and mashed carrot and courgette comes out the other end looking exactly like it did when you put it in the top end.

Cleaning and cooking can wait 'till tomorrow, For babies grow up, as we've learned to our sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep,
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.

Good house rule if you can't be bothered to clean!!!

Just accept beforehand that you are about to enter a new phase in life where you will feel guilty for everything you ever do(or don't do!!).

if your baby shits up to its armpits, throw away the vest (you'll have plenty) or else spend 40 mins scrubbing it, and the stains still wont come out in the wash.

"Keep the house clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy".
Since DS was born we are so terribly happy that our hous is openly testifying it

As soon as you have sat yourself down in quiet cafe for well-earned coffee and newspaper break (oh OK I admit it, Heat mag), your baby will wake from his nap, never to slumber again until you are too far from coffee shop to get there before he wakes up.

Cleaning the house while the kids are still growing
is like shovelling snow when it's still snowing
I love that and look and it when I am feeling stressed when the kids have made yet another tip