Dear black people of mumsnet

[PatricksRum]

Ideas for a black section on mumsnet.

Should we have separate sections i.e black hair and beauty, black parenting, black cooking or a general black section?

Link to previous

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4018383-black-section-on-mn

Awful idea. Mumsnet, by parents for parents. But let's lump you into separate groups.

There's a section for LGTB parents, parents of LGBT children, step parents, multicultural families, Scottish parents are you against all those groups having a space too?

It doesn't mean LGTB parents can't post anywhere the feel like on mumsnet, it's an extra place where they may feel better seeking support from others with the same life experience whose likely faced the same issues.

I've seen time and time again on here where people have assumed the OP is straight, female and white and in England and given advice that doesn't apply and then get accused of drip feeding.

A black person asking for a space to talk about issues relating to being black isn't any different to a step parent wanting to talk about issues relating to being a step parent etc.

I don't understand why the request makes people angry.

@spinthebottle

I’m black and I support this.

I would like to ask if similar outcry was caused when Scotsnet was born?

Or if you feel uncomfortable about there been a black only section please tell me why. I promise there is nothing to be afraid of.

I'm white, and I support whatever you feel you want or need.

Surely if mumsnet want to they can easily setup another section, its not hard.

If its being used, great!
If its not being used, remove it!

Why is it even a debate? A large number of people have asked for it

@MidnightCitrus Thank you

Unless you tell people what colour you are on here no one would know. So, no stereotyping, no racism, nothing.

In RL racism obviously exists, but on here everyone is equal until they behave differently, rudely, aggressively, etc, etc. Then, they may not be worth your time.

I really do not care what colour your skin is. I care if you can debate in a polite and reasonable fashion, giving everyone respect, until they show themselves to be someone you do not want to engage with, regardless of colour or ethnicity.

Can you do that?

I have no issue with another board if people want that, I do have an issue with the why it is being suggested as needed on here and with it being exclusively for 'black' people.

AFAIK you have no idea of my ethnicity and I wouldn't dream of telling you.

Can OP just be given her own board so I don’t have to read these arguments day after day please. Seriously.

@Soulstirring
Surely inclusivity is better than segregation. I’m baffled

Seriously, I'm baffled as to how people think it's segregation!
How, exactly?
Surely it's just a board where you could ask different things and issues only black people could know about (style and beauty geared towards black skin for example?)
It's not like saying they're not allowed to post on other parts of MN, FFS.
I know it's been said before, but do you have a problem with Scotsnet, or Gransnet (ageism or something farming out the grannies to another board or topic?)
If not, how is it any different here?

This is multi culturism in action.

Making space for all cultures. Not just the white default.

Being accepting of all, letting all have safe spaces, places with others like them. Not pretending that the unique experiences of black people don't matter enough ...they can be drowned out with the defaul white position

@Venicelover

Unless you tell people what colour you are on here no one would know. So, no stereotyping, no racism, nothing.

In RL racism obviously exists, but on here everyone is equal until they behave differently, rudely, aggressively, etc, etc. Then, they may not be worth your time.

I really do not care what colour your skin is. I care if you can debate in a polite and reasonable fashion, giving everyone respect, until they show themselves to be someone you do not want to engage with, regardless of colour or ethnicity.

Can you do that?

I have no issue with another board if people want that, I do have an issue with the why it is being suggested as needed on here and with it being exclusively for 'black' people.

AFAIK you have no idea of my ethnicity and I wouldn't dream of telling you.

Excellent post Venice

@Venicelover it's true that nobody knows what colour any other poster is unless it's revealed but as another poster said, white people are the majority, so the minority are going to have a different experience and they shouldn't be obliged to hold back on significant part of their identity if they want to find the people with whom they have common ground.

Ignore the racist nutters OP, you’re coming across absolutely fine; well done for standing your ground. It’s revealing isn’t it, just how threatened some people feel by a black woman who stands up for herself and pushes back?

We’ve got your back sis! ✊🏾

@MidnightCitrus I agree, they should set it up. If it is a success good. If not, delete it. They have nothing to lose from giving it a go.

Exactly

Do you feel the same way about the SEN boards? Or the step-parenting section? Lone parents? LGBT parents? The adoption and fostering boards?
MN is made up of many sub-groups. It makes perfect sense to me that black posters might want their own board(s) on here. Especially given the disgraceful amount of racist posting that happened on the George Floyd and BLM threads

and same
(I am white BTW)

Why does racism only work one way

@SimonJT

Not black, but brown, so different issues but surely things like.

Businesses
An in the news section
Beauty/Fashion
Health
Education
Employment
Food/drink
TV

A suggestion as someone who was immersed in managing forums and community boards for years in a previous life. Start by deciding whether you want a number of people gathered together and engaging together immediately or a series of separate spaces where people could engage on specifics but might not have so much of an audience or people to talk to.

We first tried out the multiple boards approach and discovered that the early posts were too scattered to get enough interest up. There were a very small number of prolific posters who then got the reputation for being a bit cliquey purely because their names were the ones always on the board and they got to know each other quickly because they were the only ones talking.

When we narrowed down the boards to a smaller number of broader topics then we started to get more people posting, replying, engaging. We then monitored to see which topics started taking over the boards and being successful but kind of annoying in their dominance. That's when we split that topic off in to a new board. There was an oven-ready audience happy to follow on to that new board and the old one settled back in to a broader conversation. Until the next one. And so on.

I have seen a lot of very rude posters on mumsnet but OP is not one of them. I'm BAME but not black, and I think it's a great idea. Honestly can't see the issue and can't wrap my head around so many people wasting time arguing with the OP about something that won't effect their life in anyway.

Fuck sake, what’s wrong with people? If black women want a section on MN to discuss issues affecting them, why would anyone who isn’t a black woman have a problem with it?!

OP, get on with collating the sensible answers here and pushing for what you want. Ignore the ‘all lives matter‘ crew.

Is this really necessary? Doesn’t it feel a tad divisive to you? There’s more than binds us than separates us on topics from parenting through to style.

Racism is about one class having advantage over the other simply because of how they look

Directionality is implied

@PatricksRum good luck, I support you 100%. I wonder if it might be a good idea to start off as one section for all things black related, and once it's a bit established you will (collectively) have an idea if you think sub sections would be helpful or not. If it's quieter while it builds up, it might be better to have all topics in one. Just my 2p worth.

@leostar that's possibly the most clear example of institutional racism I've seen on mumsnet. Congratulations

"We all bleed red" ... yes. However we don't all have white skin, white hair type, we aren't all free from worry about if our child misbehaves will they get treated the same as their peers at school and by the police, we don't all have the same equality of opportunity in our careers and in society, we're not all just as likely to be believed innocent until proven guilty, and a whole host of other things.

There ARE differences between white experiences and black experiences in life. The very fact that a great many posters on here are denying somebody else's experiences is part of the problem.

A space for black topics takes absolutely NOTHING away from white people. It is being requested by black people, so it's absolutely not being forced on A.N.Y.B.O.D.Y. If you don't like it, you don't have to visit it. But keep your flipping complaints out of it because it's not about us white people.

[quote WiserOlder]@Venicelover it's true that nobody knows what colour any other poster is unless it's revealed but as another poster said, white people are the majority, so the minority are going to have a different experience and they shouldn't be obliged to hold back on significant part of their identity if they want to find the people with whom they have common ground.[/quote]
I can see how that might be a useful arena, but the venom and yes, racism, behind the suggestion comes across loud and clear to everyone.

Everyone who is aggressive, dismissive and rude is taken to task on here, it is not the preserve of any one colour or creed.

Additionally, there is a BAME forum, which is a place for ethnicity to be discussed and explored and somewhere o raise specific issues relating to parenting, hair or whatever if that is what is wanted.

I’m black and this makes me very uncomfortable for reasons I can’t exactly put my finger on. I’ve been thinking about it for a while before I post.

I’ve never felt that my race was relevant when posting most threads.

In style and beauty I may mention my hair type or complexion, and people who have experience or knowledge answer. I don’t care whether they have exactly the same race or experiences as me.

This does feel like an attempt at segregation to me, why? What is it about ‘black’ parenting that needs it’s own section? Or black beauty? It’s a continuation of the ‘othering’ of ourselves.

What I’ve always found lovely about mumsnet is that we can come together with others over common ground like politics, parenting and beauty, and also debate those things. And race never has to come in to it.

I don’t want my race to dictate which sections I should post in. I can see it now, trolls will love saying:

‘Oh, think you should post that in black section op.’

@PatricksRum I think maybe multicultural sounds like a better term and more inviting.