Disablism

[BishopBrennansArse]

Shiny new thread.

Hopefully won't get derailed.

Java, I agree that this is the nadir for MN. No one expects HQ to be perfect, but their wilful blindness is causing harm. They have an obligation, according to their own rules.
I don't think there will be actual casualties, I think that's maybe hyperbole, but I totally understand where you are coming from.

Anyway, I returned to MN for support after a long hiatus. It's never been perfect, but it's always been fair. Alas, I see I have come at a dreadful time and will clear off again. I don't know what the fuck had happened ; there was once an ethos among posters of compassion, critical thinking, sometimes blunt but rarely rude. It's being yelled over by the reactionary twats, desperate not to question their own assumptions and culture. And MMHQ are absolutely fine with this, as long as the site gets hits and they get ad revenue. Sad.

And still nothing from MNHQ on that thread, I suppose they are still "taking advice"

True, Polter. Aibu has always been best avoided

I don't think there will be actual casualties, I think that's maybe hyperbole, but I totally understand where you are coming from.

If you erode away vulnerable posters support and slowly push them into isolation, which is happening here, something will give.

I'm in a good place now but I have to be honest a post on here did once make the difference between coping and not.

I did drive to the top of a multi storey car park. Today I'm glad I didn't jump but I remember berating myself for being such a coward that day because I went home.

It's not just disablist though
They left up a really nasty racist post last month
Grovelling apology etc but too little too late
Usual "we like to let discussion flow" bollocks
I wonder if these companies now paying mn all this ad revenue realise how bad they are at this? How pissed off its users are?
The staff need diversity training asap
Too late for me I think
I'm pretty sure I'm de regging
Shame - I've been here for years

Java, yes I see now. Apologies for not quite getting it at first.
Bishop . Thats sounds so awful and hard.

Well MNHQ just popped up to delete a thread about gay marriage so they are here, they are reading.

And I can only take from that that they genuinely don't give a fuck.

I'm out.

Thank you but honestly I'm fine now.
At the time I made the mistake of posting how I was feeling and got told only a complete failure of a human being would feel that way about words on a screen.

Bishop it makes uncomfortable reading but I can all too well relate in my own way. I can remember just lying in bed wishing that I would sleep and wouldn't wake, that the world would just stop. My balance was tipped by a particularly insensitive troll (this is going back maybe 10 years) i didn't even know what a troll was. I'm not a contentious poster and got caught in some cross fire and found myself feeling like a complete fool online (one of only a couple of deletions I've ever had) and failing in real life particularly as a parent with DS1's behaviour violent and sleeping/toileting/schooling headaches. As a single parent i'd only just moved to a new area before XH moved out and was truely alone, financially sunk and for good measure HMRC decided to do a full investigation of my financial situation and freeze my tax credits.

I really feel sad for those who have deregged, I understand why. I also don't want to have to continually beg MNHQ for scraps of dignity and the odd nod to stopping disabilism.

I know that there have been times that this has been my one lifeline. An existance beyond a way too trying real life. I hope that those who've felt forced out aren't now too isolated and even more vulnerable.

Its just such a sad situation all round. I'm normally proactive at finding productive ways to move forward. Right now I'm a bit stumped. No amount of polite talking appears to be helping sway things but I don't want to become agressive or disruptive to make change either.

Bishops will you pm me please
I am not allowed to pm you and I am worried about you
I don't want to talk about anything on here (for everyone else's paranoid benefit)

Seriously I'm fine butt will do

I'm out too. MN is fast becoming an unpleasant intolerant place to be, and life is too short (and frankly too complicated) to have to wade through disablist rubbish here as well as in real life. I've been on MN for years under various names, but I've been taking longer and longer breaks lately due to this. It's just not pleasant or enjoyable anymore.

I'm also very close to leaving over this. It's not a supportive or enjoyable place to be.

I really hope mumsnet understand that for everyone person complaining, there are 20 others feeling just as bad, they don't voice it because they are worried their lifeline to others with disabled children will get cut.

Great post Goose highlights many ways Disabled people and families are blamed by society. Even if it's in small drip feed ways, it's constant being aware your existence is a nusience or at best tolerated. That you cost society money, that's in short supply so you should be greatful for what you get.

Any tiny wins you do get you are not allowed to keep yet constantly have to assert your rights over, Accesable toilets, bus spaces says no more it's fight fight fight all the way. Then no one wants to be friends with that disabled child or child needs more support, or live next to that supported housing all very suffocating.

I like the article but disagree, quite strongly, with one element. The doing damage by offering supporting words to family/ carers of disabled people.

My eldest is Autistic. He is bright and engaging and wonderful. He however, needs more than just a few adaptions to navigate life. He will most likely always need carers. I can't envisage society adjustments that would make him able to function fully independantly.

His world is so different to the mainstream one we actually live in that it is really challenging to be his carer and plan every meticulous detail of life, then manage the traumas when invariably things don't always go to plan. Its also very challenging to be him. I don't believe the two are mutually exclusive.

I'm open to learning but why is it derogatory to him if someone allows me a moment of self pity?