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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Not sure where to ask about this awful terrible baby advice you have published?

280 replies

ridiculouspirate · 06/08/2016 20:25

www.mumsnet.com/babies/features/developing-a-routine

What on earth?

Mumsnet advice pages used to be reasonably balanced and evidence based. Saw this shared on Facebook and wondered wtf someone was thinking?

Make it stop before someone tries this bollocks on their new baby!

OP posts:
FoxesSitOnBoxes · 08/08/2016 08:38

It's not about routine. The tone is not "if you want a routine" it's "face it this might be the only way you ever get a good night sleep again" followed by potentially harmful advice.
It is entirely possible to have a routine without a tiny baby in their own room on their side only being fed every 3-4 hours which is what the author advocates.

HooseRice · 08/08/2016 08:39

I thought it was illegal to wake up a sleeping baby...well it was in my house Grin

LockedOutOfMN · 08/08/2016 08:49

We did 1, 2 and 6 from the linked article with both of our children and they settled into their routine quickly.

CherryPicking · 08/08/2016 08:57

I thought swaddling went out of favour years ago?! Certainly when my two year old was born we were advised not to. 3-4 hourly feeds only exist in the minds of health professionals ime.

FoxesSitOnBoxes · 08/08/2016 09:13

I am a health professional and one of the reason this annoys me so much is that I see women all the time in tears because their perfectly normal babies aren't self soothing/sleeping through or are cluster feeding or being really unsettled in the evening. articles like this imply that you're fucking up if you can't achieve a perfect baby.

ridiculouspirate · 08/08/2016 09:26

That's just what I was going to say.

If you haven't either been or talked to a new mum who is worried about their newborn feeding constantly it might seem like an over reaction.

I've done both. A lot of people have an expectation based on the formula feeding routine that their friends or relatives describe.

My pil questioned us constantly when our oldest was born about whether it was normal for him to feed (bf) that much.

Thanks to support on here and being referred to the Kelly mom website I knew it was. But if not who knows.

OP posts:
Fatmomma86 · 08/08/2016 09:27

The article is titled 9 simple ways to develop a routine for your baby. If you don't want a routine then don't read the article and don't have one.

That's the thing though isn't it?

Unless you are one of those insufferable pricks who thinks that YOU are the only reason your baby followed a perfect routine then you'll understand that following this advice to the letter, apart from very damaging to bf babies chances of remaining breastfed, will only result in a routine depending entirely on your baby.

Got a easy baby that goes with the flow, sleeps whenever you seem to want him to, no silent reflux etc. Good for you, this will probably work (Ds is like this)

Got a baby that turns into a banshee whenever you try to put them anywhere other than yourself for a nap and this advice is just as likely to push you over the edge possibly to depression when it doesn't work/ makes things worse.

It did with me when I had DD. I was in the doctors struggling to speak through tears wailing that I didn't understand what was going wrong, I must be a terrible mother. The doctor basically told me that that old fashioned advice was bull, it would work for those with already naturally easy babies but not for me so to just do whatever made life easier.

For the record I used to be one of those insufferably smug people. I assumed that mothers were just doing it wrong if they couldn't get their baby to sleep/feed in a routine.

Boy did DD show me Grin

Helmetbymidnight · 08/08/2016 09:29

I desperately wanted a routine but I had a baby who wanted feeding every two hours.
I thought there was something wrong with him.

livinginabox · 08/08/2016 09:38

Very disappointing from MM.

Here's the NHS advice that recommends responsive feeding and following babies cues, including frequent feeding, short vs long feeds and not being able to spoil a newborn by responding to their needs.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/Pages/your-breastfeeding-questions.aspx

There's lots of evidence that responsive feeding - bottle or breast is better for long term health outcomes. It regulates blood sugars better which is believe to aid cognitive and brain development.

Fatmomma86 · 08/08/2016 10:46

Same here Helmetbymidnight

I couldn't understand why dd went through periods of wanting to feed ALL the time. Thought she wasn't getting enough milk!

Advice like this never takes into account completely natural cluster feeding.

FoxesSitOnBoxes · 08/08/2016 14:24

Ooh, has it gone from Facebook? I can't see it any more

ridiculouspirate · 08/08/2016 23:25

It seems to be gone from the MN page.

I did find it shared on another page though when I searched for mumsnet+routine. 🙈

OP posts:
ridiculouspirate · 08/08/2016 23:26

It's gone completely, link in op doesn't work. I guess being reworked? (Or hopefully burned)

Thanks mumsnet.

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 09/08/2016 00:36

Oh hurrah! power to the people! Grin

Atenco · 09/08/2016 03:33

Yeap, I just discovered this thread but couldn't read the article, sounds like that is all for the best.

Just wanted to comment that I am in my sixties and my sister in her seventies and we had a very modern, scientific mother in our day. So my sister and I presume that I too, were made to go 4 hours between feeds and we were on breastmilk. When my dd was born 32 years ago the advice was every three hours on breastmilk.

Not a scientific study, but I was once given a kitten that had gone three days without eating and the poor wee thing ate everything going, was incapable of refusing food. My sister has battled with overeating since the year dot and I am not an overeater because I virtually chain smoke. I fed my dd on demand and she loves her food and doesn't smoke but is a skinny wee thing. So my not so scientific conclusion is that making babies go hungry may possibly cause them to have issues with food when they are older.

YokoUhOh · 09/08/2016 03:59

This is also in direct contravention of current NHS advice on feeding, which is to feed on demand. All the cots in my local hospital had feeding cues leaflets attached to them when I gave birth to DS2 recently, so that babies didn't have to wait to eat and mums didn't think that they 'didn't have enough milk'.

FoxesSitOnBoxes · 09/08/2016 07:10

🎉

MrsDeVere · 09/08/2016 08:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JudyCoolibar · 09/08/2016 09:15

When my dd was born 32 years ago the advice was every three hours on breastmilk.

That wasn't general advice. DS was born 32 years ago and the advice I had was demand feeding.

DixieNormas · 09/08/2016 09:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeyondLovesSweetDee · 09/08/2016 09:31

I'm gonna bold this, because it's really, really important...

Actively spreading out feeds has a direct negative effect on breastmilk production. Breasts produce less milk when they are full to the brim!! You are giving advice here that WILL have a negative impact on breastfed babies

blogs.unicef.org.uk/2016/08/01/infant-feeding-interval/

BeyondLovesSweetDee · 09/08/2016 09:33

Well that's weird, why didn't it bold?! Confused

BertieBotts · 09/08/2016 11:14

Hmm weird. It should have bolded. Test

BertieBotts · 09/08/2016 11:14

Did you put a line break in after You?

BeyondLovesSweetDee · 09/08/2016 11:15

Nope! Well, I didn't intend to, I guess I must have though?