Reply to Justine

[TheOriginalFAB]

The first objection I'm afraid I can't really buy - Most of the UK population uses Facebook. Most Mumsnetters use facebook. It's a bit mad to object to facebook on principle - it's like objecting to people.

This is just daft and is irrelevant whether you buy it or not. Just because "most of ths population" use FB doesn't mean everyone on MN is going to like it. It is like saying you don't buy that some people won't eat meat as the majority of the population are not vegetarian/vegan. And it is nothing like objecting to people

The second objection I just think is misguided, as I've explained. Users' privacy is no more compromised by this button than it ever was.

It might not be "no more compromised" than before but the point is it is much more visable now and before people might not have been aware of the link button but now they are and they don't like it.

So should we change something because some people on this thread dislike it even if we think they are mistaken to dislike it? Even though what they are objecting to is already in place?

You may think we are mistaken not to like it but we are part of MN and without posters you just have a website with adverts no one sees. And the fact that it is already in place is not the issue. Before lots of posters weren't aware of it so couldn't object.

I've been doing this long enough to know that new things are never well-received - but it doesn't always mean they are bad.

That comes across as patronising and lots of posters are telling you this is a "bad" idea and lots of people don't like it.

For me this is a huge loss as I feel unable to discuss something I would have appreciated help with and that makes me feel sad. And namechanging doesn't work for me as someone always guesses who I am and outs me.

who's saying stuff everyone else on here? i have sympathy for people who are worried, because it's not nice feeling anxious about things, especially when there is no real reason to be as the scenarios being described are outlandish.

YES BUT EVERYONE NOW KNOWS MY MN NAME AND THAT IS ALL I CARE ABOUT.

i would never link my fb to mn, don't want to out self although i realise that i mostly am outed.

Who's staying stuff everyone else? Well, all those who are saying they should have thought of it before, all those belittling their worries, all those basically calling them dumb.

tosh
alarmist and complicated scenarios about A said to B who said bumsex to C work colleague who told A and B.oh blah blah some of you are hyping this into a catastrophic scenario

Just want to say that I find it distinctly unappealing that Mumsnet is so global now. Congratulations to Justine et al on building a wonderfully successful product, but it IS definitely a different animal to what it was when some of us joined back in the dark ages. I suppose its inevitable.

If anyone knows of a simpler, smaller, chat site that I can join could they please invite me? .

I suppose I could try and find the Mumsnetters I most click with on Facebook and start chatting with them there!

People keep saying that there was already a like button and that things are no different.

But for many of us there wasn't.

I have the drop-down thingy hidden, so before Thursday I didn't have a button on my threads to accidentally press. Now it is there on every thread, and all I want is to hide it.

And Aitch, the reason some of us talk about our teenagers on here (for example) is that, sadly, we can't talk about it in real life. And it (generally) wouldn't be recognisable if it went on some random person's facebook wall, but if it accidentally ended up on the teenager's wall, and in their newsfeed, it would be recognisable pretty quickly.

I still think shared computers are a real problem - for those of you lucky enough to have a laptop/phone/ipad to yourself to mumsnet on, this is obviously not an issue, but it doesn't stop it being an issue for others.

mn is brand and business,inevitably has changed
see I dont have cost good ole days view on mn,it was cliquey, often cruel ESP if a name piled in.and frankly old have been saying not like ole days since eve asked was I aibu to eat the apple.

and when Aibu was mooted that was predicted as catastrophic decline mn,in fact it's the busiest and funniest part.but the ole gimmers didn't approve of aibu

I didn't find it any more unpleasant to spend time on Mumsnet in ye olde days than it is now. There were some tossers then and there's 100x more now. Inevitably.

but soupy I think that is the main issue tbh. I don't think people should be angry with mn for implimenting this feature, they should be angry with themselves for being so naive as to think posting here was anonymous in the first place.

There are no more real valid concerns about being outed than there ever were. Esp given this feature has actually been here for years and anyone has always had the ability to copy/paste a thread and post it wherever they want...

mn now is better than ye olde mn of yore
bigger,busier, not so much we done that already/search the archives

I am one poster who has mentoined not logging out of stuff and lending laptop to teenagers.

I am not worried about the (frankly ludicrous) situation that Aitch posited.

the situation is more likely to go:

I am logged in (as I am, generally - it is my personal laptop). THIS DOES NOT MEAN THE WINDOWS ARE PERMANENTLY OPEN

teen borrows laptop, and wants to use FB. sees my page, thinks 'oh right, Frothing's not logged out' - logs me out, and them in. wanders off in vague teenage manner.

teen has no clue who I am on MN - why would they? I doubt they even know I use it.

I wander back, and don't realise teen has use dmy laptop, therefore have no knowledge that they are now logged in on FB (since they ahve no trust issues, and are permanently vague, being teenagers)

I accidentally click the FB like button. (and since there is no two step process, it posts straight away, even if I cancel it, although I don't always get the 'cancel comment' box pop up anyway - have been trialling how and when it posts to my wall)

it posts to teen's wall. who now does know I use FB. and might pop on for a look around. and I am logged into MN on my laptop, as I always am - no need for me to log out generally, as I don't leave windows open for teens to realise that I MN.

teen now has easy access to MN (it having been flagge dup nicely as somethign that might be interesting), and easy access to my posting history.

no braodcasting of wanksock has taken place by me. no flagging up of teen issues has been doen by me.

but regardless, teen is able to read something which I might not want them to - whether it is about the state of mine and dh's relationship ,a health problem, whatever.

not really so difficult to envisage as a scenario, actually.

as I said in an earlier post, the vety leadt MNHQ could do is ensure that these changes work in the way they are supposed to, along with actually flagging up to users that these changes are taking place, rather than just sneaking it thorugh without comment.

We simply have to agree to disagree sm - if that's alright.

As far as I see it there are two distinct issues here. The link between mn and fb, which was always there. Just because you didn't share threads on fb, doesn't mean others were the same. You can't control the actions of other mners and once you press post those words no longer "belong" to you. It seems daft to moan about something that was there before and is just more obvious now. Which is, imo, actually beneficial.

The other issue is the possibility of accidental posting, now, you either press it by accident (it will not move around the board, it will stay in the same place so the risk is actually minimal) and tech is working on a two-step process, so you like, are prompted and click yes or no. Or you post a thread to someone elses wall rather than your own. Which is totally your own fault. Mnhq can't hold our hands and protect us from ourselves ffs.

Can someone explain how to delete cookies

Is it really the only way this won't clumsily go to facebook?

of course bbh,that's the point the riposte and you think what...
I'd hate it to be a oh. youre so right brown nose club,if wanted that I'd be begging moldies for an invite

Okay, I've worked out that using firefox you can stop the computer from remembering cookies using the privacy settings.

As wannabe posted above, you can get rid of the like button using adblock.

I must be unhealthily addicted to have gone to so much trouble.

Thanks Holly. Well done!

I will start using adblock!

Ah but SCOTTISHMUMMY it WAS once a safe haven for me, when i was first a parent, in a town where I knew nobody, and noone I spoke to had ever HEARD of MN. back then people didn't really use the internet on their phones, ipads and tablets didn't exist and Mark Zukerberg was probably just graduating from Uni. :o) My chances of being recognised then were about zero, I made my choices about what I posted accordingly.

when somewhere feels safe and you get used to posting it gives you a false sense of security. Naieve? Yep, but human too.

subjectively felt safe to you yes,objectively safe no mn never was.
and regularly mnhq issue a be safe be circumspect sage message.the trust issues and confidentiality breaches have usually come from fellow mn posters to other mn. and a fb link wont change that

on mn we have had the fake legal advice, fake bereaved children, false desciptions of health to elicit responses and thats just off top off head. also some fab supportive stuff the majority has been good.but still need to be internet savvy and circumspect if required

look over past year for example,people have flounced,usual assortment of fibbers and blaggers exposed.this wasnt result of external sheenanigans it was internal mn spats

What SM said!

What SM said!

Can't believe this is still getting so much air-time. Sorry to be patronising but FFS! If you want to flounce over something a trivial as this then go ahead. But stop dragging this out ffs.

When I first heard of the furore and that people had actually flounced I thought it was a joke, I really did.

Listen - PEOPLE WHO ARE ON BOTH FACEBOOK AND MUMSNET OFTEN LINK TO MUMSNET THREADS. I know they do, they often appear on people's walls. There is a little discussion beneath the thread sometimes that doesn't mention posters but which does discuss the thread or Mumsnet in general. EVEN LURKERS LINK TO THREADS ON MUMSNET. There is one ex-mumsnetter who now never posts and she's a FB friend who I have seen link to Mumsnet threads.

So what difference does this Like button make if it is happening anyway?

If someone finds a thread interesting they are going to discuss it on their fb account. Especially if they have a fb account in their MN name and are friends with other facebookers also in their Mumsnet names - no, I'm not one of them, can't be arsed. You cannot stop people discussing stuff like this.

Those who think that Mumsnet is some sort of safe haven are just plain dumb, to put it politely. You can Google threads - threads are even discussed in other forums and on blogs. There are closed groups of Mumsnetters like the fungals and countless others who all slag off Mumsnet and Mumsnetters from time to time. Yes it might suck to think that you run that risk, but hey ho, that's life. Just as you cannot stop real life people discussing you behind your back, you can't do it in a virtual life either.

As for outing people, I've never heard anything so ridiculous in all my life! If you have that much info on Mumsnet that you can be outed then I suggest you change it. Because you know what? If you are a regular Mumsnetter then chances are that you have already been discussed and your threads linked to without your knowledge. It's already happening. This Like button is neither here nor there. Many many websites have a Like button and as far as Mumsnet HQ is concerned, it gets people talking about the site and about the campaigns. It might get new members. And this is a business after all, not a charity for bored mums. So for every member who flounces, 10 more may join. It makes sense see?

This is NOT a private forum. It is very much public. Those who are bleating on and on and on about this need to honestly get out more. Or if you are that concerned, then change your posting name. I'd far rather threads were discussed on facebook than on some of the dubious forums and blogs I've seen posters mentioned on.

I seriously do not get it. Threads are already linked to and discussed on facebook. You can't ban it, so what's the problem? Or is it a case of, because you didn't know that before and do now, it's a problem?

Unless I am thicko of the month and have missed something of vital importance, this is a non-debate. Just a load of people who would prefer not to know about that horrid facebook and so want the Like button to be hidden away so they can pretend they are in some safe and secure little world once again. Grow up.

Rant over. Back to AIBU.

and also what sircliff said.

agreed cliff...

Tbh I do think a lot of it is a sudden realization that this stuff is out there and people honestly thought they were anonymous here.

I'm not on fb any more but I am on twitter and mn threads are linked to on there regularly and discussions on there happen as a result. And twitter is a public social network with none of the privacy settings that exist on fb.

There is a lot more of this stuff going on than people want to believe.

There's a million users here (apparently) its going to take some time for people to have their say.

Have you read the posts from people who have to share their pc/laptop with other family members rhubarb?