Let's talk about sex toys (well, ads for them on Mumsnet), please

[HelenMumsnet]

Hello.

We'd like your opinions, please, on Mumsnet taking ads for stores/sites that sell sex toys.

We accepted a campaign for one site like this earlier in the week - and then removed it after receiving a fair number of complaints.

So, what we need to know now is...

Do you mind ads for stores/sites that sell sex toys - generally speaking?

Does it matter which stores/sites these are? And what kind of stuff they're selling?

And, if you wouldn't run a mile from these kinds of ads, would you be happy to see them all over Mumsnet (with the obvious exception of our more sensitive topics such as Bereavement, Special Needs, Relationships, Miscarriage etc)? Or would you prefer them only to be in Chat?

Do please post and let us know your thoughts.

Thanks MNHQ

Thanks

'That said, Mumsnet is a site for adults and you are, quite frankly, at any time one click away from some pretty agricultural language (not even one click to be fair), graphic discussion and googling dragon butter. We have always been upfront that we are a site for grown ups not children, as we think there are great advantages people being able honestly to discuss sex, relationships etc. so we wouldn't want to ditch all that in the name of taste.'

Justine, I don't think you are getting it, with all due respect.

Yes we are able to discuss random sexual topics and that's normal. It's a bit like a conversation with other mums, maybe at a postnatal group or something...imagine you're sitting around talking about rabbits or whatever and one of you suddenly chimes in with 'Oh by the way would anyone like to buy this [disgusting and offputting piece of equipment]? I get a commission you know'.

It would be inappropriate, and would stop the conversation in its tracks.

Yes of course we want the freedom to talk about sex. It's NOT the same as a highly visual image popping up on the screen from some company trying to FLOG us sex equipment. Children who may not be able to read can still see these images.

Really disappointed with your answer tbh.

I know the word I was looking for. The advertisers are exploiting us.

I don't mind being exploited a bit with regard to pushchairs or fashion or holidays. There might be something in it for me.

I don't want the fact I might want to talk or think about sex should not be something that is exploited in the same way as the fact I think about which pushchair to buy.

It's entirely different.

Have you totted up the number of people who said they would leave MN if you began to advertise this sort of thing again?

Have you consulted with Boden and the rest?

thinks not

I don't think MNHQ are quite getting it either.

But they have refused advertising revenue on behalf of their users.

MNHQ don't have to agree with us, nor do they even have to do as we ask.

Am not arse licking here (have given MNHQ plenty of work to do in the past with my sweariness and the delete button activity etc) but they have taken note and dropped the ads

They have dropped the ads across all the boards, haven't they ?? (just checking)

What more could we ask for ?

it would be nice if the ethos of some of the members (not everyone disagrees with LH adverts, so it is just some ) but it's not essential

oops, an incomplete sentence

I meant if the ethos of some of the members was in complete concordance with MNHQ but it's not essential

Thanks Helen MNHQ for amending thread title.

@toosoontoosoon

'That said, Mumsnet is a site for adults and you are, quite frankly, at any time one click away from some pretty agricultural language (not even one click to be fair), graphic discussion and googling dragon butter. We have always been upfront that we are a site for grown ups not children, as we think there are great advantages people being able honestly to discuss sex, relationships etc. so we wouldn't want to ditch all that in the name of taste.'

Justine, I don't think you are getting it, with all due respect.

Yes we are able to discuss random sexual topics and that's normal. It's a bit like a conversation with other mums, maybe at a postnatal group or something...imagine you're sitting around talking about rabbits or whatever and one of you suddenly chimes in with 'Oh by the way would anyone like to buy this [disgusting and offputting piece of equipment]? I get a commission you know'.

It would be inappropriate, and would stop the conversation in its tracks.

Yes of course we want the freedom to talk about sex. It's NOT the same as a highly visual image popping up on the screen from some company trying to FLOG us sex equipment. Children who may not be able to read can still see these images.

Really disappointed with your answer tbh.

Hi toosoontoosoon, the reason I said what I said is that it had been given as one of the arguments as to why these type of ads are inappropriate - that children might see them. Obviously if they were very in your face graphic ads that could be easily stumbled across that would be a fair point (they weren't incidentally) but the principle as expressed in this particular argument - i.e. that MN is not a suitable place for for things that are inappropriate for children, is flawed I think, for all the reasons I expressed.

Clearly your point is different - it's about who Mumsnet takes revenue from. I accept that some Mumsnetters think we shouldn't take money from this type of company because they find the products on sale offensive/ degrading. For that reason, as said, we'll be more choosy in future.

Mn in can't win shocker

@LoveBeingAMummyAgain

Mn in can't win shocker

I think there's a world of difference between discussion between users on MN, and advertising being endorsed by MN.

I'm not offended by anything that goes on between consenting adults blah blah blah, but that LH ad was awful. Clever advertising intends to influence people's perceptions of products, and that LH ad was basically saying 'you're not getting the sex life you deserve unless you buy...x product from us'.

The porn, the medical stuff , the schoolgirl uniforms, it's all been said already on here - very unsavoury. Totally fine to have all these things discussed on MN, but totally not happy to see adverts for them here.

Btw, thank you Justine for reconsidering :)

ristretto - naming one poster is a bit much, isn't it?

And this was not at all about 'militant' 'hardcord' MNetters. It is a stickied post that has been up for some time now that any MNetter could have commented on.

Very glad to hear that Justine :)

Especially as I am somewhat at the milder end of the speculum. Boom boom.

I would.

Thank you JustineMumsnet for listening to us.

I think the fact that there were lots of different reasons for not wanting the ads makes it even more important that you did respond in this way - that's definitely as close as it gets to a consensus on MN

We can argue forever about why we don't want them, but I think the general agreement is that we don't want them.

Just to be clear - I am one of the militant types who has no problem with AnyFucker's username but disagrees fundamentally with being identified with what I perceive to be degrading to women. Having said that, I am perfectly happy to stand shoulder to shoulder on this issue with those who quail at the sight of some Anglo-Saxon and dread their PFB's eyes being defiled by a photograph of a vibrator .

Haha HullyGully!

Ristretto start your own "offended" thread if you object to specific usernames

Don't hijack this one, eh ?

Well I don't want those popping up on my computer thanks.

Lots of reasons for objecting to the ads that dont include the 'kids looking over shoulder' argument.