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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

MNHQ

Let's talk about sex toys (well, ads for them on Mumsnet), please

486 replies

HelenMumsnet · 07/10/2011 11:51

Hello.

We'd like your opinions, please, on Mumsnet taking ads for stores/sites that sell sex toys.

We accepted a campaign for one site like this earlier in the week - and then removed it after receiving a fair number of complaints.

So, what we need to know now is...

Do you mind ads for stores/sites that sell sex toys - generally speaking?

Does it matter which stores/sites these are? And what kind of stuff they're selling?

And, if you wouldn't run a mile from these kinds of ads, would you be happy to see them all over Mumsnet (with the obvious exception of our more sensitive topics such as Bereavement, Special Needs, Relationships, Miscarriage etc)? Or would you prefer them only to be in Chat?

Do please post and let us know your thoughts.

Thanks MNHQ

OP posts:
higgle · 09/10/2011 14:24

I've been a bit shocked that people say they use Mumsnet at work and that LH ads shouldn't be on for that reason - surely most places would dismiss or discipline for this?

Uppity · 09/10/2011 14:27

LOL, let's not use the nation's productivity as an excuse to normalise the porn culture on a parenting site.

We're allowed to use a site like Mumsnet at work, in breaks, because it's a parenting site. Simlilarly, estate agents, newspapers etc.

Things like Facebook and Twitter are blocked. And of course accessing porn sites would be a disciplinary offence. Not sure about sex toy sites. Hmm

BecauseImWorthIt · 09/10/2011 14:39

I run my own business and work from home, so I'm not going to discipline myself!

TheTamingOfTheShrew · 09/10/2011 15:51

I'd rather not see that sort of thing, whilst not a prude in the slightest, I do browse this site in the family room and think it would be inappropriate to have that sort of thing advertised. You could always put the option of blocking such ads for members (no pun intended, honest!!!!)

YNK · 09/10/2011 16:05

Another one who would not like to risk lunchtime browsing at work turning into a furtive 'mind you back' activity, just in case one of these ads popped up unnanounced! Nor would I like anyone looking over my shoulder to think I would associate with the commercialisation of sex!
I also object to the inappropriate intrusion on threads where women have had their self esteem knocked or who are feeling vulnerable for any reason.
Please don't do it MN - I would have to say goodbye.

swallowedAfly · 09/10/2011 16:35

nice one higgle - not bothered that mn is advertising plastic arseholes or 'fun' speculums but 'shocked' at the idea of women popping on mn whilst at work! Confused

BelaLugosidreamsofzombiesheep · 09/10/2011 17:27

MN is already blocked at my workplace - not sure if it's the filthy language Wink, free speech or the chicken fanciers but according to (one part of) the NHS it is already website non grata.

senua · 09/10/2011 17:34

MNHQ have you asked other advertisers what they think? Is it worth taking on one tacky advertiser if you lose the other hundred?

For my part, if it became well-known that MN was that dirty site then my membership would probably lapse. No way would I be doing any word-of-mouth and telling my mates to join. Eww.

As someone said above, it's not classy.

Sleepglorioussleep · 09/10/2011 17:58

Too tacky. Don't particularly want to see ann summers in my high street but def don't want to see sex toy ads on mumsnet.

CalatalieSisters · 09/10/2011 18:12

When I first saw an Ann Sumers on my local high street I was mildly interested because I took its marketing at its word when it claimed to be "for women" in some meaningful way. But seeing the tawdry uncomfortable basques and other tackery it stocks I don't think it is remotely for women, or for their pursuit of sex on their own terms. It's just a chance for women to ape the pornography that has already taken sex away from them and also an opportunity for retailers to steal one more activity away from us all so that they can sell it back in an accessorized form.

I'm sure the same goes for lovehoney (which is also seedy beyond belief in the several ways that posters have pointed out -- not least the LGBG-unfriendly dress-up) and for all so-called soft and mainstream sex retail.

I don't mind MN advertising a hemp-and-lentil vibrator made, marketed, and sold by companies that respect women. But I doubt there is such a thing available. Perhaps MN could develop one, to go with all the mooncups.

JeanBodel · 09/10/2011 20:09

Another no vote here.

Totally inappropriate.

Would mean I could hardly ever MN because there would always be a chance my kids might see.

42day · 09/10/2011 21:29

No vote here because again totally inappropriate, chance my kids might see them and haven't there even been young people on here who seek advice from mums for example the poor girl whose parents had both died and she was having difficulty with school/college.

ginmakesitallok · 09/10/2011 21:42

No vote here as well - Mumsnet is a wonderful forum full of supportive, empowering women and to allow ads for companies who sell product which degrade and demean women just doesn't sit right with me. If I want a vibrator then I'll get one, doesn't mean I want ads for one on this site. If there were ads on here then, like JeanBodel, I wouldn't be on the site in case one of my DDs saw it.

However - if there was a separate sex forum which perhaps needed a separate login then fine - and I like the idea of MN developing it's own range of sex toys which respect women! Grin

normalshmormal · 10/10/2011 00:04

Regardless of taste, I'm incredulous that you're considering this, given the damage it could do to brand. They must have offered you a LOT of cash. Mumsnet is the waitrose/grazia/VW of its industry, in terms of perception of quality, customer loyalty, customers' disposable cash (the nice ham buyers of this world).

Brand-wise those ads sit alongside plastic surgery clinics, premium rate horoscope phone lines and ringtone download ads. When I see those in a magazine, I feel a bit disappointed that the magazine is desperate and doesn't get me.

If you are desperate for cash, fair enough do it, after all it's a business, but bear in mind that you WILL look desperate and the short term cash gain will devalue the company in the long term.

And I think the ads are grim. Grin

normalshmormal · 10/10/2011 00:07

And as for how centerparcs, Boden etc
might react..?!

pastawine · 10/10/2011 00:07

i didnt think i'd mind - hell ive shopped from some of "those sites" but actually i think i would mind seeing them advertise on here, it just doesnt seem right to take ads for sex toys on a parenting website,

why not open a 'highly personal' area of the forum with a separate login? stick all the ads you like in there along with all the friday night bum sex threads.

Jux · 10/10/2011 00:45

Noooooooooo don't take the Friday night by sex threads off the main board!!!!!!

Jux · 10/10/2011 00:47

bum sex threads, bloody auto-correct on these mobile devices Blush

MellowBirds · 10/10/2011 07:04

Exactly, normalshnormal.

It's so off-brand!

Unfathomable.

toosoontoosoon · 10/10/2011 07:23

CalatalieSisters Sun 09-Oct-11 18:12:49
When I first saw an Ann Summers on my local high street I was mildly interested because I took its marketing at its word when it claimed to be "for women" in some meaningful way. But seeing the tawdry uncomfortable basques and other tackery it stocks I don't think it is remotely for women, or for their pursuit of sex on their own terms. It's just a chance for women to ape the pornography that has already taken sex away from them and also an opportunity for retailers to steal one more activity away from us all so that they can sell it back in an accessorized form.

___

Brilliant post and very, very true. It's not for women at all. It's to encourage women to become what some men want them to be. It's the equivalent of some ageing woman taking you to one side and saying, 'here, love, it's alright, I'll show you how to shave your bits/bind your feet/give good head. It's the only way to keep a man you know dear and we must embrace it or be forever on the shelf.'

As an aside I don't do the Friday threads, I'm not remotely interested in anal sex, and I don't care where those threads go because I just don't read them. They are people talking. They are not advertisements.

MellowBirds · 10/10/2011 08:48

MNHQ, I wonder if the title of this thread is (inadvertently) excluding some members from the debate. There could be members who are not able to click on a thread with this title for fear of it showing in their history. The thread title does not say this is a debate about sex ads on MN, just about sex ads. Also, it could be misconstrued as maybe a marketing thing, eg an Ann Summers survey, which again, some people aren't going to want to get involved in.

I was actually surprised at what this thread was about - I clicked on it thinking it was going to be a strand of the let girls be girls campaign. How ironic!

BarryShitpeas · 10/10/2011 09:45

I wouldn't like any "adult" advertising on mn.

For the reasons everyone else has said.

Just, no.

KouklaMoo · 10/10/2011 09:50

It would be a no vote from me too. No to all of them, for all the reasons so eloquently put so far.

I'm surprised MNHQ even needs to ask.

HollyGoHeavily · 10/10/2011 10:37

Just wanted to add another 'No' voice.

Everything I wanted to say has already been articulated on this thread - Love Honey, Ann Summers et al are not liberating for women. They are contributing to a message being pushed hard at everyone that sex is only good if you are pushing the boundaries.

MNHQ
JustineMumsnet · 10/10/2011 11:15

Thanks for all the comments. We will take note of the objections with regard to taste and appropriateness and be a more careful about which companies we allow to advertise in future and where we allow them to advertise.

That said, Mumsnet is a site for adults and you are, quite frankly, at any time one click away from some pretty agricultural language (not even one click to be fair), graphic discussion and googling dragon butter. We have always been upfront that we are a site for grown ups not children, as we think there are great advantages people being able honestly to discuss sex, relationships etc. so we wouldn't want to ditch all that in the name of taste.

But we do understand that for many folks this type of advertising crosses a line that they'd rather not be crossed and we have taken careful note and will certainly bear it in mind in future. Cheers.