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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

mn hq, is it really wise to have topics that are deamed so agressive/scary that most members don't want to post there?

429 replies

wannaBe · 29/08/2011 13:40

have just read a thread in the doghouse topic, and posts from a few posters saying that they never post there due to the agressive responses there.

Now, I know that hiding a topic could always be an option, but is it really in the spirit of mn to have separate topics that are deamed so unwelcoming/agressive that few posters actually want to post there?

I can of course see the need for certain sections, conception/sn/relationships, but it just seems against everything that mn stands for to let a topic exist that is frequented only by a few individuals while the majority feel that the responses there are agressive enough to warrant not feeling comfortable there.

Why can't we just go back to having a pets topic?

OP posts:
MmeLindor. · 29/08/2011 21:19

Goodasgold
He? Not sure I understand your meaning.

MrsCampbellBlack · 29/08/2011 21:23

Oh I like the 'experts' in certain topics - found their advice invaulable when I was bf.

Although not sure there are any experts in S&B just some very dedicated shoppers Wink

The doghouse does seem a little robust but then I made the mistake of starting a thread about dog poo albeit not in the dog house section.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 29/08/2011 21:25

I think I'll declare myself an expert in something

MmeLindor. · 29/08/2011 21:26

Chickens, maybe?

ComeWhineWithMe · 29/08/2011 21:27

You never see TikTok calling someone a cunt or a murderer in the BF topic though do you?

She gives great advice and can get her point across in a way that is not insulting or patronising which is what happens in the doghouse.

Someone can ask for advice and a couple of posters will post sensible and helpful advice then along comes the CAPS LOCKS AND FFS AND ARE YOU STUPID OP?

Tis all a bit silly and ott but a lot of op's are new (probably because no sane Mner goes into the DogHouse anymore) and are frightened off MN because of the aggresion.

Over the past couple of years I have seen a poster threatened with "Wait until X see's this thread you'll be sorry then" think that was on the old pissing cat thread.

A heartbroke woman shouted into submission. She thought her dog should be put down after it had bit her child (who was now hysterical and frightened) she was then shouted down and told to keep the dog at home until a rescue could be arranged, all thought for the dog and none for the child.

A bereaved woman was told it shouldn't matter that she was struggling after the death of her husband because x and y managed and they had had bad times in life too Hmm.

Everytime someone posts about a dog biting or nipping they are told not to tell the truth and anyone who suggests the dog might be better somewhere else they are screamed down and called names.

I have a rescue dog but I would rather eat my own eyeball then ask for advice is the DH topic.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 29/08/2011 21:28

Ooh, see, I'm not a chicken expert. I'm a Back Garden Keeper. I could be a breed specific expert

Maryz · 29/08/2011 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SinicalSal · 29/08/2011 21:29

Sorry can i just do a little giggle at the idea of a husband topic 'DH topic', comeWhine

Maryz · 29/08/2011 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 29/08/2011 21:31

Maryz, that is possibly the best way to become an expert I dunno, I don't think the chicken keepers require experts as such. We're a very chilled out bunch on the whole.

goodasgold · 29/08/2011 21:31

Just that there are people who have explained it over and over again and get tired of the same questions coming up without people searching for similar threads.

I did think that you were right on the doghouse thread. I didn't like the tone of voice either. I lurk with a view to getting a dog.

5inthebed · 29/08/2011 21:32

I would love chickens, the thought of fresh eggs every day (or whenever) but I fear the kiler hedgehogs might get them.

ComeWhineWithMe · 29/08/2011 21:33

Grin @SS.

I am an expert in wine and crisps.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 29/08/2011 21:34

I can be an expert in thread derailment I suppose

goodasgold · 29/08/2011 21:35

sinicalsal @ a dh thread. My dh bit dc. Should I get him put down or get him rescued?

MmeLindor. · 29/08/2011 21:35

Ah, you mean, would I get fed up answering questions about living in Switzerland? Well, no. I don't actually. If you have a look at the "Living Overseas" topic, you will see that I have often given advice on where to live and the cost of living etc.

And if I did not want to do so, then I could just not open the thread.

DeccaTreuhaft · 29/08/2011 21:46

This is a rather strange thread - It is rather unusual to encounter a 100+ post thread on mumsnet blatantly crticising a poster (and everyone knows who you are on about) without saying someone coming on and saying that slagging of a particular mumsnetter in this way is out of order.

Trollhunting and the trollhunters are evidently the Scum Of The Earth for quietly questioning a wildly dramatic story from someone who hasnlt posted before, and this is held up as an example of how NOT to behave on the board, however it seems to be perfectly OK to start a thread to slag off a mumsnetter who is prolific on another topic.

Would it not be best to heed your own advice and report to mumsnet and desist from a thread of tittle tattle? Or not. Hmm.

FWIW the mner in question - yes she is very forthright and can be rude (she had a go at me onece when I said I would kick a dog up the arse if it jumped up) but she is VERY helpful to those on here with dog troubles. And if she was as mad as a box of frogs, if you don't like her attitude and think it is bullying, REPORT her to MNHQ, don't slag her off on her own dedicated thread.

Original poster
wannaBe · 29/08/2011 21:48

bloody hell last time I looked at this thread it had about seven posts.

Kerry no-one was mean to me, Smile anyway I can hold my own against the best of 'em as you should well know by now Wink

I agree re the point about the way the opinions are put across. And I'm afraid to say that when you start referring to dogs as being "murdered" you start to get people thinking you are (excuse the pun) slightly barking.

It does make me Angry when people get a dog and want to rehome it within a matter of weeks because a puppy just wasn't what they thought it would be, and I have said as much on other threads. However not everyone who gets a puppy from a neighbour is condoning puppy farming. Not everyone whose dog has puppies is a backyard breeder wth no responsibility.

I wouldn't personally rescue a dog because you have no knowledge of where it's been and what it has been through. And if one of my dogs agressively bit a child unprovoked (I am talking about a bite here not a snap or a warning) I would have it put to sleep without question. There's no way I would pass on the responsibility of an agressive dog to someone else, no way.

I am an animal lover and I love all my animals to bits. But I think sometimes some people lose sight of the fact that these are dogs we are talking about, not human beings.

I think this is made evident by the fact that a poster (who does post in the dh topic and elsewhere) once said she would die for her dogs and risk leaving her children orphaned, for the sake of her dogs. Hmm madness.

OP posts:
MmeLindor. · 29/08/2011 21:56

Decca
No one has blamed one poster for this. I don't even remember the names of those I argued with this morning. Wannabe posted this thread about the general atmosphere on the Doghouse topic. I don't even know who you are alluding to.

ComeWhineWithMe · 29/08/2011 21:57

I've reported at least three times Decca and nothing changes.
I am fed up with a lot of people in the doghouse topic there is a lot of bullying towards anyone who dosen't sing from the same hymnsheet.
Nobody else can put their POV across and it is getting a bit boring to know as soon as you see a title about someone struggling with their dog they are getting flamed on the thread and told if they don't do it a certain way they are an evil bastard Cruella Deville.

Original poster
wannaBe · 29/08/2011 21:58

DeccaTreuhaft8 no actually you are wrong.

It was that thread that inspired me to post this one, but not because of the poster you are referring to, but because of comments from others on that particular thread saying that they are not comfortable posting in the dh topic because of opinions such as that poster's and others who frequent that topic.

My point is not that certain posters should be held to account, but whether it is really positive to have whole topics on mn that are considered so unwelcoming that people dare not go in there. The opinion that if you don't want a fight then you shouldn't go there is just not good enough IMO. Just because you know people in certain parts of the boards hold strong opinions doesn't make those sections of mn a free-for-all area for people to be as rude as they like with the onus being on those who venture there to know the score and not go if they don't like it. I hold similar opinions on the ibu topic and have voiced those here too in the past.

You have to consider that mn is an open forum where people join all the time. People cannot be expected to just know where is safe to go and where isn't - mn is either a welcoming, if opinionated, place to post, or it isn't.

But I think the fact the majority of posts on this thread are in agreement that the dog house is not a welcoming section of mn speaks volumes. Even ibu doesn't get that many posts against it.

OP posts:
DeccaTreuhaft · 29/08/2011 21:59

I think it is rather clear MMe who the poster is in question - I am not saying that you are personally accusing a particular poster, but the general sense on the thread is that most people are referring to one (as yet unnamed) mumsnetter.

OverthehillsandfarawayNL · 29/08/2011 22:02

No Decca that's not the case at all. I think the thread is clear - it is a group of posters not one particular poster that's being referenced here.

DeccaTreuhaft · 29/08/2011 22:04

X posts.

Fair enought that a lot of people agree with you wannabe - and you OP does not single out a particular poster - however the thread seems to have ended up in a general slagging off of one poster. Which is apparently not in the spirit of mumsnet (when it suits Hmm). It just reminds me of the perennial 'cod is a bitch' type threads from a few years ago.

I agree that the proliferation of daft topics has possibly contributed to the fact that some topics are dominated by some individuals, I think a rehash of topics would help (but that is another thread).

ThePosieParker · 29/08/2011 22:05

Jesus Christ, I just spat my tea out.....

ComeWhineWithMe Mon 29-Aug-11 21:27:01
You never see TikTok calling someone a cunt or a murderer in the BF topic though do you?

This has to go into the weekly MN update!!!