Linking Sensitive Threads to Social Networking Sites

[WhenwillIfeelnormal]

Please can you take a look at this thread in AIBU which explains the rationale behind this appeal.

When Mumsnet decided to provide the facility to link threads to Facebook and Twitter, several of us had grave reservations about this move. When it was clear that Mumsnet was going to continue with the policy, I started a thread asking for you to consider removing the buttons from the most sensitive discussion boards, such as Relationships, Bereavement and SN. Others made similar requests and you were kind enough to agree.

At the time, I said that just removing the buttons without having a permanent request and rationale on display, might not be enough to dissuade posters from linking sensitive threads to those sites. Unfortunately, no such written appeal has been displayed.

Last night a poster decided to link a very sensitive thread on to Twitter and the issue for me is not about privacy. The OP in that thread is pragmatic enough to know that what we write on here can never be considered private.

The issue is more to do with human consideration and making a decision not to invite Twitter followers to gawp at another person's distress.

Could you please consider writing a policy on this issue, with clear expectations about users' behaviour, including any penalties that will occur if this is transgressed. Could this policy also be reinforced at the top of each of the non-Twitter/FB linked boards please, because it is evident from the AIBU and sensitive thread concerned, that many users hadn't noticed the absence of the FB and Twitter buttons on those boards.

Thank you.

And you call me naive.

Bollocks!

It was several issues all intertwined, one of them being, leaving it in the childrens bathroom.

Justine I am sorry but I believe that the way MN has been promoting itself has also created this situation.

It is very well to want a site where people can get help and advice but if you also want a site that is extremely visible then you are going to stop people coming on here for advice for fear of what has happened this week.

When I joined the site, I agreed to a few things, like the fact that any of my posts could find their way in a book. Why is this issue of 'etiquette' and 'sensitivity' not part of it too?
Why is it that there is a comment about troll hunting at the top of the pages but nothing about 'sensitivity' at the top of the 'sensitive' subjects such as SN or relationships?

I also don't believe that this 'incident' has highlighted to people that they need to be acrefuland it is not 'acceptable' by the MN community to tweet about sentive subjects. A lot of poeple will join this site after this event. Some will have missed it all together.

If you want people to really take that into account, I am afraid you will have to be much clearer in your expectations!

So not entirely bollocks then

i think that where there are topics that do not hve the link to other social netweokring sites, MNHQ could but a little one liner asking people not to link on those threads.

of course this mens thtat you can still do this, but i feel that there will be clear netticate framework, which most of us will adhere to.

tbh, i didn't know that they were not there on soe topics until i read through some of the recent threads

was it the childrens bathroom specifically - did they have ore than one bathroom?

Also totally agree with WWIFN last posts.
What actions are you going to promote a certain level of respect for other posters (remember they are all human beings on the other side...) ?
What sanctions are available?

Do you feel you have any responsability in the way that some threads are discussed on facebook and Twitter seeing that you have actively encouraged people to do so? My feeling is that the answer is 'NO' in which case I can see how you don't see what happened this week such a big issue.

:(:(:( for this site tbh.

Oh.... a 'old' poster who disn't know about the facebook and twitter thingy next to each post.

Even though that had being discussed quite a lot at the time it was introduced....

Perhaps time to make the guidelines/reasons why they are on certain posts but not others clearer???

Justmeandthekids I agree that this has been very sad, and has somehow tainted the site.

Aloiseg
Can I ask if you would have linked to the thread if you had known that it was frowned upon my MNHQ, and if there was a statement to that affect on the topic.

Which still does not address the other issue here -

Anyone can link to a thread on Twitter. Any journalist can spot a thread on MN and use it for an article. And we can do nothing about it.

Good question MmeLindt, honestly, I'm not sure. Ive never gone out of my way to "break any rules" but when I was c&p the link it didn't occur to me to check with the rules first. I certainly didnt look for a Twitter or Facebook widget to make the link.

Alouise, I said I would find it difficult to see where DH would have the time to look at porn, given we spend most evenings together, his work laptop has blocks to prevent any porn and our family PC is in the playroom. He is also not as technically savvy as me, or indeed my BIL who has put blocks on our PC. His phone contract is in my name as are all bills.....

But if you have any other ideas about when and how my husband is using porn please make your suggestions.

He's been to Amsterdam and, whilst he denies any wrong doing, I have no shame in admitting that he could have done anything whilst there...and I would never know. There are people that know their partners don't use porn, those that think they know their partners don't use porn, those that don't want to know either way and those that know that their partners are using porn. I just don't understand why you have to insist that everybody uses porn.

WWIFN:

It's not about privacy. It's not about anonymity.

You've missed the point, there is NO anonymity online.

MovesOnWithHerLifeTiggaxx

Alouiseg....I am deeply disappointed in your personal message, especially regarding what you've gleaned in deleted threads. I guess the internet really doesn't represent real people to you, I actually thought behind your posting was a nice person.....seems I am wrong.

Well I could have posted it on here. It was the comparison to religion that really offended you wasn't it.

I can't bleach my mind of what I've read.

Good lord alouise Having read all this I wonder what sort of a RL you have to bring so much shit to the internet

And what you did regarding linking someone's heartbreaking situation online was uncalled for and attention seeking, btw MN tweeters....now that you tell everyone your real names online and then start threads telling everyone....do you think I should tell everyone your real names? I mean it's public afterall.

Posie, why don't you just post the actual message rather than making up a load of bull?

I've replied to your pm btw.

dittany no you are not anonimous online. Not in terms of that everyone on here knows your name and address, but in so much as that you can never be sure who might know your name and address. If you (not you personally, anyone on here) are posting information about yourself on a website such as here you have no idea of knowing who is reading it. People don't have to identify themselves to you - they may choose not to in fact.

Which is why you should never post anything online that you wouldn't want your friends and family in rl to read.

Even by namechanging you are not anonimous - "found porn in the bathroom" would be easily identifyable to dh or children of the op in that thread.

People have the right to post sensitive information here. They just shouldn't consider that the internet is a safe haven for doing so.