Linking Sensitive Threads to Social Networking Sites

[WhenwillIfeelnormal]

Please can you take a look at this thread in AIBU which explains the rationale behind this appeal.

When Mumsnet decided to provide the facility to link threads to Facebook and Twitter, several of us had grave reservations about this move. When it was clear that Mumsnet was going to continue with the policy, I started a thread asking for you to consider removing the buttons from the most sensitive discussion boards, such as Relationships, Bereavement and SN. Others made similar requests and you were kind enough to agree.

At the time, I said that just removing the buttons without having a permanent request and rationale on display, might not be enough to dissuade posters from linking sensitive threads to those sites. Unfortunately, no such written appeal has been displayed.

Last night a poster decided to link a very sensitive thread on to Twitter and the issue for me is not about privacy. The OP in that thread is pragmatic enough to know that what we write on here can never be considered private.

The issue is more to do with human consideration and making a decision not to invite Twitter followers to gawp at another person's distress.

Could you please consider writing a policy on this issue, with clear expectations about users' behaviour, including any penalties that will occur if this is transgressed. Could this policy also be reinforced at the top of each of the non-Twitter/FB linked boards please, because it is evident from the AIBU and sensitive thread concerned, that many users hadn't noticed the absence of the FB and Twitter buttons on those boards.

Thank you.

on both "the web" and "the UK"

ffs
i've just googled that

it wasn't on the first page with or without quotes
not that discoverable or alternately this is more of a problem than we think

maybe what we actually need is a hotline?

I saw the thread and I thought it was cruel and unnecessary to tweet it. Hope things are calming down for you now, SS.

Realistically, I don't think MNHQ could actually enforce such a policy, but it wouldn't hurt to put a polite request at the top of sensitive topics - it might make some people think twice. Perhaps the absence of buttons in certain topics is too subtle a hint.

I can assure you that on my computer with google safesearch on "strict" it is the top result for both

on "moderate" search setting (where I usually keep it), it's on the bottom of the 3rd page for "the web" and 4th result for "the UK"

with safe search switched off it's still bottom of the 3rd page for "the web" and 4th on the UK results.

That's without using any quotes to search with

MN shouldn't have to police it we are all adults and should have an inbuilt respect o meter !

Some do, Noddy. And some don't :(

TSH, you provided some great perspective on my thread, for which many thanks.

So I ask you, do you think it is right that I am tweeted on Twitter as being someone who is either a troll or has had their vagina sewn up? Do you think that is a kind thing to do? To someone who is frankly in a complete mess?

Because it's all very well being told that it's unpoliceable. But if MN had just put at the top of the thread, that they would prefer these topics not to be tweeted, I think the person in question might've thought twice. I hope, anyway.

A little bit at the top of relationships perhaps asking people not to tweet threads may work I guess.

I don't think Alouise did it maliciously and its just a salient lesson that when anything is posted on the internet its there for all to see.

It would be interesting to know what MNHQ's opinion on this is.

"But if MN had just put at the top of the thread, that they would prefer these topics not to be tweeted, I think the person in question might've thought twice. I hope, anyway."

You're right, she might. But the likes of Matthew Wright and the Daily Mail definitely wouldn't and both lift threads from MN with alarming regularity.

All that would be achieved by putting a request that details not be copied anywhere else, is further reinforce some posters false sense of security. What you type on here is all Google-able and is regularly trawled by journos for an easy story. You wouldn't stop some people ending up heartbroken, in fact you'd only make it worse because the perpetrator would be some anonymous web trawler and not another MNer that you can start thread after thread attacking to make yourself feel better for being so daft.

If someone on my twitter feed linked something I thought it unfair to link then I would challenge them on twitter not on the site linked to.

That said, I am firmly of the school that you don't post online anything you want to keep hush.

Muminbeds, but do you not see that the reverse is equally true?

That if someone thought I was trolling or had had my vagina sewn up (direct quote btw) they should come and say so on the MN thread in question? Except of course that those sort of comments on that thread would have led to deletion.

Cowardice IMO. Bullying cowardice.

I don't see it as ganging up per se. (even though I haven't tweeted threads).

But if you know someone off board, be that for email/msn/twitter/fb/even rl contact, there will come a point at which specific threads on mn would be discussed. I don't believe for a second, for instance, that none of you ever talk about threads on mn with your dh's? Not ever? Or other friends you know through mn?

As I said I don't tend to tweet about mn threads because a vast number of my followers aren't mn'ers, but it is logical that if most of your followers are mumsnetters then you would be more likely to tweet about threads on mumsnet.

And realistically mn hq cannot have an opinion or state a policy about this because this is public internet forum and you cannot police someone else's use of a public website that is not your own.

SS if you are a regular then you will know that it's not uncommon for out-of-the-ordinary threads to end up with the op being called a troll, be that publically on the site or elsewhere. It is a regular occurrence for people to ask others to email/pm them about suspicious threads. Or do people really believe that posters do not communicate outside of mn? Remember this is the site where posters will rush to the aid of a complete stranger they've never met. Why on earth would they not talk to people off board they've known online for a period of time?

I do 't actually think there's much "ganging up". If it's a properly controversial thread with racism, attacks on SN, etc - then yes - there most of my FB friends and I would probably have the same opinion.

But I have been known to post links on my FB to find I'm arguing against some of my FB friends - so there's certainly no "ganging up" fro my end

Google is fairly intelligent though, and so if you regularly use mumsnet then mumsnet pages will come up high on on the searches.

Try googling it after removing cookies and in 'private browsing' and you will get very different results.

that's true NoDiving - though why it's never intelligent when I'm searching for stuff on MN via google I don't know

Although I've just cleared my cookies (and cleared everything else out too - was due another clean up) and am in "private browsing" and it's still coming up first with safe search strict

I just tried an it's not on the first ten pages. It's all sites like ass1st.com

with safe search on strict !!!

Crikey - thank god google safe search doesn't let me down very often

I'm sorry, but if something is so private and so sensitive that you don't want it in the public domain then don't bloody well post it on the internet.

MN is not private. You can take away the buttons, you can ask people not to link or repost elsewhere, but its still on a public site and viewable by anyone who has an internet connection and the inclination to look, so what difference does it make? Seriously? If you really think it would make any difference to how public information is on this site, you need to go and have a word with yourself.

If you are embarassed by what someone has done with information you put out into the public domain then blame yourself for posting it.

This is nothing to do with privacy. Hopefully I disguised enough about myself/my family for it to be anonymous.

But I will ask you two questions, babyheave

Do you think it is reasonable that this thread was tweeted, given that MN deliberately does not include a twitter button on this sensitive thread topic?

Secondly, do you think it is reasonable that it has been tweeted in terms involving accusing me being a troll or having my vagina sewn up?

I'd just like you to answer those two questions.

I'm not babyheave, but I@ll answer your questions.

I do think it is reasonable that it was Tweeted, since the buttons are not necessary for tweeting, if Aliouse ('scuse if I have the name wrong) hadn't said she'd done it you either wouldn't have known it happened or at least had no idea who it was.

I do think it is unreasonable to say 'vagina sewed up' as that's just mean. I don't like meanness. The troll part I have no opinion on as I haven't actually read the thread in question and therefore do not know if it had troll properties.

You, IMHO, do have some responsibility here as well. You need to be responsible for your own posts. If you don't want the world to read something? Don't post it anywhere on the internet. Simples.