Understanding the concept of love in open relationships or swinging

[OMGDidYouSayThat]

Thought a new thread would keep things alive, i have no prejudice against anyones relationship choices but i'm intrigued to know how swingers and those in open relationships quantify love for their partners...

In my black & white mind i can't seem to make the relationship between loving someone/each other and watching them with someone else.

Oh, now you're reading me wrong 😂
My first experiences of sex were very much connected with love. I was 18 and started a relationship with one of my best friends and it was absolutely lovely 😊

I didn't entertain any ideas of non monogamy until many many years after that!

My partner involved others in his last relationship, from the sounds of things they both wanted to but she was very keen. It destroyed their relationship and they lost respect for each other and it became unloving. He talks about it sometimes but not in a hot sexy way.

I was clear from day 1, I never want to involve anyone else, he says he agrees because the reality of it isn’t always like the fantasy. I can only orgasm with someone I can 100% trust and feel emotionally bonded to. I generally speaking have sex with my partner to feel emotionally connected to them and it’s fascinating how our sex life has changed since we fell in love it’s so much more intense and loving, he’s actually found it quite hard to dominate me even though we have talked about it so much it’s taken him a while to be comfortable with certain things because it feels ‘wrong’ and disrespectful so we had to ease into that slowly. I am sure many people do enjoy it and still love their partners but I would get jealous and feel disconnected from him

Met someone recently that sees sex as a hobby. They are part of an exclusive group that can only be joined by invitation. Everyone bi sexual. Group activities as well as individual meets. A hobby group that couples and singles can do together.
So, what hobbies do you do? Oh you know the usual, zumba, pilates, yoga, sex, gardening, knitting, walking

DH and I love each other dearly, make love most mornings and evenings but still enjoy our FWB.

I know a lot of MNetters will not approve of my lifestyle but I have been bi for as long as I can remember.

I do not consider us swingers perhaps we have a slightly open marriage, in that we have a FWB Babs that we have know since she introduced my now dh to me when I had my first ffm threesome. I had been FWB with her for around six months and with her then girlfriend (now wife Cassie) for two months.

We see our FWB about once a month and I see her and Cassie two or three times a year.

We do go on holidays together and I have threesome fun with DH and Babs or Babs and Cassie