Do you have sex when your teen DC are in the house?

[Mybusyday]

A little bit light hearted but also an actual problem - My DH doesn’t like to have sex whilst our DC are in the house. DC are 14 and nearly 13 and it has been like this for the past few years which is really difficult. I try to reason that we would be quiet and discreet and would make sure that they are asleep first and even put a chair in front of the bedroom door just incase but he is having none of it (literally!) Is this what it is going to be like from now on now that the kids are older? Does anybody else have this problem or any helpful suggestions? I’m sick of having to wait until they are at school and I certainly don’t want to have to wait until September to have sex again!

Just be discreet. Teenagers probably got headsets on anyway.

Yes otherwise we would never have sex. Just close the door, play some low music or the TV for background noise and don't be vocal. I have other kids who are asleep, teenager is the only one likely to be awake but he's nearly always got his headphones on.

We don't. Oldest is 13, youngest is 1.5

Yes, we keep the noise down but crack on as normal. Usually put the tv on in the background. My teenagers are 18 and 14.

We have a policy of knocking on bedroom doors (and waiting for an answer) before entering a room. They do not want to see me riding DP anymore than I want to see them having a wank!

Oh god, there's always one that has to push it a bit too far on these threads. Gross.

Oh god, there's always one that has to push it a bit too far on these threads. Gross.

There is, often more than one. It’s unnecessary and as you say, gross.

How is it "pushing it too far" to acknowledge that teenagers boys masturbate in their bedrooms and parents have sex in theirs? Both perfectly normal and not gross at all. But, quite rightly, not something either wants to witness.

Half the problems discussed on these boards are the result of people thinking sex is something to be embarrassed about and shouldn't be talked about openly.

This is very clearly labelled as a sex topic. If a little humour about sex makes you so very uncomfortable, it's easy enough to avoid these threads. Faux outrage is a very dull hobby.

There’s been an issue with threads/posts from posters wanting to talk about kids in a sexual way on this board. There have been quite a few threads deleted over recent weeks as well as posts on other threads too for doing just that. Unnecessary talk of children in this way, is just that, unnecessary.

Not gross at all, just being realistic and explains why bedrooms shouldn’t just be barged into.

Not gross at all, just being realistic and explains why bedrooms shouldn’t just be barged into.

Parents already realise this, it doesn’t need highlighting on the sex board where there are a number of unsavoury sorts reading that have proven a desire to talk about children in a sexual way. Many threads and posts are deleted due to posters having an unhealthy interest in children.

There was no reason for the comment.

I'm not "talking about children in a sexual way", like some kind of paedophile. I'm saying that my teenage sons probably masturbate and should be afforded the same privacy in their bedrooms as I expect.

The distinction is obvious but you're deliberately choosing to cast aspersions about my motivations for posting.

Not a single post on this thread indicates an "unhealthy interest in children", merely the practical realities of living with children at home.

That didn’t need mentioning. It was all fine until your last sentence of your first post. We have all been teenagers, lots of us will have children. Most of us realise some stuff goes without saying on a board like this when it involves kids, then there’s others that insist on writing it. Unnecessarily.

It didn’t need mentioning but it didn’t need censoring either. It was obviously not an attempt to titillate and painting it as such seems disingenuous

In our old house the walls were thinner etc. So that wasn't great. In the new house the design is better for privacy/soundproofing etc. I've even gone as far as putting foam draft excluder around the bedroom door to make better soundproof seal. Works a treat.

I took your comment as statement of fact.

Get a doorstop that you wedge under the door as that way they can’t open it. Or a lock. I’m single but I absolutely would have sex (quietly) with my teenage kids in the house yes. Otherwise you’d be going years with no sex, or doing it when they are at school. Not sure why he’s so funny about it, have you spoken seriously to him about it?

I agree with you, and so many people have hang ups about sex like it’s dirty or something unnatural.

a door wedge - a great tip thank you! Yeah I have asked my DH lots of times and he just says it’s wrong as the kids would know what we are up to (??!!)

Thanks for those who have responded -I’m not sure what I walked in to mid-thread but I’m sure all was perfectly innocent. Not sure what the solution is for me but hopefully we can figure something out

Go to B&Q. There's something called a bolt, you can put it on your door

'ere we go.
perhaps some folks should stick to their cakes and puzzles.
Am sure there are bits under the mnet umbrella where such non gross things can be discussed. Do you and the gross merchants have anything to contribute? If so, am sure we are all ears.

glad OP has found a way forward,.

We have 18 and 19 year olds and they spend most of their time in their rooms outside of mealtimes so we can close our door if we like or not, we just keep our ears open.

Oh and @PinotPony I do not see anything you have written that requires censorship by the roving Thought Police imho.

Does a door wedge work if you use it to stop a door being opened, rather than it being used to keep a door from closing? I know that if force is used, it won't stop the door being opened but anything that at least makes someone stop and think is useful. My teenage daughters will often just walk in to our bedroom, even though I have asked term to knock & will knock before entering their rooms.
A stopper sounds preferable to a bolt which could be a bit messy for an amateur like me to install!