Do you think that having the sex topic in ‘active’ has changed the tone of the responses here?

[ForestLilac]

Why does it come up in active anyway?

Or is it just a glitch for me?

I think you might need to toddle off and find a toddler forum because you're acting like one.

It's really awful. The number of men wanking on those threads is absolutely terrible.

Well I never even knew there was a sex forum so you earn something every day

Mumsnet is hosting it because it has decided that it would prefer the cash to being an 'ethically driven organisation' or 'social enterprise-like' or whatever it previously called itself.

TBH I'm as shocked by the sponsored content about bottle-feeding - those of you who have been here a while will remember that issue as a hill they were prepared to die on.

I don't think there are any hills now, just a vast flat expanse of lowest common denominator.

Those of us who care about that kind of thing are already nearly outnumbered by those who don't, so I understand the logic. It's a bit galling, though; depressing, too, for it to become just another public amphitheatre where
jaded audiences hurl popcorn at bloodied victims. Feels very decline and fall.

I wonder when it will be sold.

I think it was intended to be exactly as you say. And from past experience, that's very much what it has been...you could choose to just ignore the Chat thread (which personally I also agree probably doesn't belong on Mumsnet) and the other threads have been 90% genuine advice, concerns, sharing thoughts that perhaps people would feel embarrassed doing in real life. I think this thread has been very helpful to show a number of women they aren't alone and a key difference why it's had a place now versus 2015 = women's sexuality has become so much more understood and accepted over the years, which can only be a positive. There are a few regular poster men in there who talk about their own longterm relationships and are largely very respectful and curious re: their wives. Unfortunately I think the specific posts drawing a lot of attention are being twisted or are the exception not the norm. Forced onto Active they are inappropriate; in a private searched for topic, they are perfectly appropriate and valid.

I'm all for reinstating the 30 days' rule, and possibly stopping the Chat thread. But have been dismayed at the vitriol towards the regular posters on this topic, the assumption that they're all pervy men (because women couldn't possibly be talking about these things with other women) and, above all, it's so disappointing that Mumsnet have handled this so badly.

But you say yourself, you are "imagining" this. How do you know? Likewise, where is the data re: % of men vs women using this topic before all these people can make such certain declarations about numbers of men w*nking over the posts, or dismissing topics as of no value at all but porn fodder?

I'm all for reinstating the 30 days' rule, and possibly stopping the Chat thread. But have been dismayed at the vitriol towards the regular posters on this topic, the assumption that they're all pervy men (because women couldn't possibly be talking about these things with other women) and, above all, it's so disappointing that Mumsnet have handled this so badly

I agree.

I am a woman and I find the sex topic interesting and insightful. The vast majority of posts are people asking for advice and getting helpful advice. The many posters complaining that the sex topic is grim and full of only pervy men just reinforces the harmful victorian stereotype that women should think of sex as dirty and not speak of it. Women are allowed to want to talk about sex too. Just because you don't, it doesn't mean that you get to be rude and nasty about those that do.

It needs to be removed from active again, for everyone's sake.

Not a chance I'd ask for advice on the sex board when it's full of so many men.

I'm all for reinstating the 30 days' rule, and possibly stopping the Chat thread. But have been dismayed at the vitriol towards the regular posters on this topic, the assumption that they're all pervy men (because women couldn't possibly be talking about these things with other women) and, above all, it's so disappointing that Mumsnet have handled this so badly.

Sorry if any regular posters feel offended and it might well be a feature of the time of day the threads were popping up on my active feed (extremely early on Saturday morning therefore most likely posted on v late Friday night) but the ones I read didn’t remotely read like women talking about sex with other women.

To be fair, I believe they were popping up early morning due to trolls posting bloody recipes. Probably to make more trouble.

On Friday the thread in Site Stuff blew up and there was a lot of traffic between there and Sex Topics, trolling and sadly woman shaming by women which pushed threads up the active list.

To be fair you are posting on a public forum, nobody has any right to tell you what you can and cannot say.

Well no I realise but I couldn't find a way to make it remotely constructive anyway

@EmilyGilmoresSass but a poster has the right to ask to be left alone and should after requesting that, expect to left alone.

Ugh. A man here to bemoan ‘women shaming women’. 😑🤮

Yuck.

Do you think men should ignore women being sexually shamed and repressed?

Unfortunately you can’t win being a man on MN sometimes. If you’re posting on an open forum where men and women are welcome, you’re a pervert, if you stand up for women you’re also considered yuck. Ignore them, they’re clearly very bitter people and it’s not worth your headspace.

Unfortunately you can’t win being a man on MN sometimes.

^ it's called Mumsnet for a reason.

ODFOD

It’s tone deaf. Being an ‘ally’ is one thing and pointing out when other men are being, for example, misogynistic. However a man policing conversations between women is really not the progressive contribution you seem to think it is.

Likewise I would not in a million years hang out in black MN and berate black women for the way they are speaking with other black women and consider myself anything other than a massive bellend.

It’s for parents, not Mum’s.

And that has been expanded to non parents too.

Giving an opinion isn't policing, I prefer to discuss issues rather than belittle and insult. That way I question my own beliefs as well as those of others.

Misogyny is institutionalised and systematic and not solely the preserve of men

Thanks for the lesson on feminism 🙏

I think the term is ‘mansplaining’… could be wrong, you might know more about it than me

It's just a conversation one person to another. I haven't insulted you, told you what you should think or dismissed your opinion. I also don't insist I'm right and I'm happy to be challenged.

I don't think women should be shamed for expressing their sexuality by anyone and everyone should challenge it.

That’s not correct. It’s actually for parents and I’ve come across many threads where females have posted and have said they’re not parents, should we also unwelcome them too because they’re not mothers.