Male posters | Mumsnet

justcallmebozo · 15/02/2023 20:33

Completely agree with you Jude. I haven't posted on the sex thread, but long time lurker and have found it really useful, and one of the most friendly and non-judgemental places on MN.

NoDatingForOldMen · 15/02/2023 21:34

I sometimes post, but don’t really bother anymore as men are constantly portrayed negatively on this forum, even when trying to help, or offer a different opinion

But saying that I’m also on few more male dominated forums as well, as women are portrayed just as negatively as well, so horses for corses really

NoDatingForOldMen · 15/02/2023 21:37

*Courses not corses ( why can’t you edit posts on this forum)

PinotPony · 15/02/2023 21:37

Well said! The vitriol has been quite staggering. I for one will continue to appreciate the guys on here who are respectful and polite.

everywhichway · 15/02/2023 21:47

Thanks Jude. I certainly won't be put off by any of the embittered, santicimomious people who've lately been about on MN!

Original poster

Judeisnotobscure · 15/02/2023 21:55

I have been put off tbh. I want to go somewhere else but I don’t know where!!

OP posts:

everywhichway · 15/02/2023 21:57

Don't go Jude. We need nice people like you on here! x

Original poster

Judeisnotobscure · 15/02/2023 21:59

💗

OP posts:

defi · 15/02/2023 22:00

Mumsnet is for anyone who cares to join. You're very welcome to be here just as anyone else

Iloveabaconbutty · 15/02/2023 23:11

It's actually quite hurtful being labelled one of the "creepy men" who post on the MN Sex Board. In my shortish time on MN I have felt that the men who have posted have been as generous-hearted, considerate and thoughtful in their contributions, wise, open-minded and compassionate as women posters.

This Board is one of the very few places (actually I can't think of anything comparable) where both women and men can talk about one of the most precious, intimate areas of human life without fear of judgment. There is so much warmth and good humour. I have learned a huge amount and feel this Board is such a special place to be a part of.

As a man - maybe representative of many men - I feel that there are very few places to express vulnerabilities, uncertainties and worries which are sometimes associated with sex and intimate relationships. The MN Sex Board is one of those places where I can do this with confidence and I'm so grateful.

Thank you @Judeisnotobscure for highlighting this this evening and please carry on with all your contributions!

Deathbyfluffy · 15/02/2023 23:17

I post regularly, and will continue to do so despite the usual MN attitude of ‘if it’s got a penis, it’s a piece of garbage’.

Not everyone’s point of view, I know - but it is staggeringly bitter on here sometimes!

DGConsultant · 15/02/2023 23:25

I've noticed a plethora of negative comments directed at us guys recently too. Hopefully we're not all that bad, and have useful contributions to make. Respect is mutual. Hey ho...

Peakypolly · 15/02/2023 23:32

I agree Judeisnotobscure. I have found the male point of view very illuminating and hope everyone feels their opinion is useful.

DixonD · 16/02/2023 00:09

I’ve never seen a creepy or offensive comment from a male
poster here.

Lizzy1980 · 16/02/2023 00:50

I’ve read some good advice and interesting opinions from men on here. I’ve also read some quite unpleasant and often unwarranted comments directed at men and if I were a man I’d certainly feel unwelcome on MN. I have brothers and other male family members that I’m close to but wouldn’t feel comfortable discussing certain topics with. It’s often useful to hear a man’s perspective so MN can be a good space for that. I don’t like it when some people are so dismissive of other peoples views just because they’re the opposite sex. When ‘it works’ we can compliment each other so well can’t we

B1rd · 16/02/2023 00:55

Everyone should be welcomed on this part of the board and treated with respect.
I like that you can ask for a man's opinion on here.

WalkingThroughTreacle · 16/02/2023 01:05

I'm a man and have been on MN for quite some time, though I don't especially focus on the Sex board.

There is an undercurrent of anti-male sentiment on MN generally, that's undeniable. However, I tend to remind myself that much of that sentiment is probably a result of past negative experiences at the hands of men that have left those women traumatised. I wouldn't say I pity then as that sounds patronising and condescending but I would say I try to understand and empathise rather than feeling personally attacked.

Misogyny is still an epidemic in the real world and it seriously impacts pretty much every women to some extent, many catastrophically. If that is ever sorted, I might start to concern myself with the occasional anti-male sentiment on here.

Lizzy1980 · 16/02/2023 01:09

Iloveabaconbutty · 15/02/2023 23:11

It's actually quite hurtful being labelled one of the "creepy men" who post on the MN Sex Board. In my shortish time on MN I have felt that the men who have posted have been as generous-hearted, considerate and thoughtful in their contributions, wise, open-minded and compassionate as women posters.

This Board is one of the very few places (actually I can't think of anything comparable) where both women and men can talk about one of the most precious, intimate areas of human life without fear of judgment. There is so much warmth and good humour. I have learned a huge amount and feel this Board is such a special place to be a part of.

As a man - maybe representative of many men - I feel that there are very few places to express vulnerabilities, uncertainties and worries which are sometimes associated with sex and intimate relationships. The MN Sex Board is one of those places where I can do this with confidence and I'm so grateful.

Thank you @Judeisnotobscure for highlighting this this evening and please carry on with all your contributions!

I’ve never really given it much thought if I’m honest but yes, I’m sure there aren’t that many forums where men can feel comfortable enough to express their vulnerabilities. I’m glad MN enables some men to do so and I find it very sad that there are people that go out of their way to make posters feel so uncomfortable that they no longer feel they want to contribute.

Catullus5 · 16/02/2023 04:14

Judeisnotobscure · 15/02/2023 20:23

Hey guys…may I say that I am really grateful for the male perspectives shared on these threads. Sadly I’ve read some horribly negative comments this evening. Please don’t be put off posting!

Thanks- much appreciated - being over of those men who only posts on the sex board (actually I've posted on MN for years and years and just use a different name for this topic.)

And good on you and @PinotPony and @everywhichway any others for speaking up on the threads elsewhere.

The sex chat thread is not my bag (being a married man) and therefore not my business.

I'd prefer it if sex board topics didn't show in Active though.

Original poster

Judeisnotobscure · 16/02/2023 04:23

@Catullus5 I’m with you 100% about appearing on Active! By the end of this evening I was feeling like a freak, a woman who enjoys sex? And actively seeks out ways to make it mind blowing? Crazy!! That didn’t happen when the board was hidden!!

OP posts:

treasurefoil · 16/02/2023 04:24

WalkingThroughTreacle · 16/02/2023 01:05

I'm a man and have been on MN for quite some time, though I don't especially focus on the Sex board.

There is an undercurrent of anti-male sentiment on MN generally, that's undeniable. However, I tend to remind myself that much of that sentiment is probably a result of past negative experiences at the hands of men that have left those women traumatised. I wouldn't say I pity then as that sounds patronising and condescending but I would say I try to understand and empathise rather than feeling personally attacked.

Misogyny is still an epidemic in the real world and it seriously impacts pretty much every women to some extent, many catastrophically. If that is ever sorted, I might start to concern myself with the occasional anti-male sentiment on here.

Does work both ways we all need to realise man or woman could have a positive comment.
I've been having trouble with husband not wanting anything to do with me, sexually. We still have a great time but are now friends, good friends, but that's all he sees me as now.
So I'd like a man's opinion ideally, to what he's thinking and how I could do better for him

Catullus5 · 16/02/2023 04:52

@Judeisnotobscure they are probably all from Biblioll College or maybe Sarcophagus College.

There is r/sex on

Catullus5 · 16/02/2023 04:54

(I hit post too soon) ... r/sex on Reddit but it doesn't have much community feel and it's, well, Reddit.

Original poster

Judeisnotobscure · 16/02/2023 05:00

Thank you @Catullus5
I had tried there but I felt I was so much older than most of the posters! I wasn’t finding enough common ground

OP posts:

Yorkieboy · 16/02/2023 05:28

I had some comments (and a DM) aimed at me regarding groping my wife's breasts when I go past and to be honest it made me feel whether it was worth carrying on posting on here as I was only trying to give an opinion from my point of view about men not caring about size/ shape etc.

It does make me wonder what sort of comments would come if there was talk about slapping mens bums or poking them etc. To me its a bit of light hearted fun in relationship and if I'm going to give it out I should be prepared to take it coming the opposite way so to speak.