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Original poster

How to indulge in husbands 3some fantasy

135 replies

Ivenamechangedforthis2020 · 17/09/2020 23:46

I’ve name changed but am a regular poster on Mn.

Been with my husband 11 years with 2 dc together.

I’m very happy in our relationship. When we first met he was open about the fact he’d love a 3some with another girl. This is something I’d often fantised about prior to meeting him but thought it was a pipe dream. He bought it up when we were Together about 6months and as we were loved up and I was possessive of him, I dodnt share his fantasy. We are now comfortable and open with eachother and the 3some topic came up a few months ago during a drunken night out. He was open about having sex with another woman and wanted me part of it. I feel that my exploration with women was never adhered too and I’m interested in exploring further, however I don’t know how to go about making it a reality or if it could have an impact on our relationship.

Are there any MNetters who have experienced this and if so how did you go about it and what impact has it had on your relationship?

Posting in AIBU for traffic. Thanks

OP posts:

Colycola · 18/09/2020 00:18

His fantasy is 2 women all over him

God men really are basic aren’t they.

TheBeesKnee · 18/09/2020 00:20

Lesbian sex and threesomes are very different kettles of fish and I would not mix them. You will not be able to "explore" your sexuality with a woman while your husband is trying to stick his oar penis in.

Catsup · 18/09/2020 00:21

Well, from a practical perspective there's plenty of swingers sites to go on that offer the option of meet ups with someone for a threesome if they/you are so inclined. But I'd also offer up that fantasy and reality are so far removed that it might not work out exactly as you have envisioned in your mind? Personally I'd also be questioning that your DH has stated 'he wants to have sex with another woman... but with you there'? 🙄 To me that sounds more like he would just like to have sex with another woman (with your consent), and 'yep' you get to be included too. Is this something you actually want? Or is this something he wants and you're now feeling if you may 'want' it too based upon that? How would it change your dynamic in the relationship? Nobody else can answer that question. But a 'sexy fantasy' is very different to watching your partner physically fuck another person imho.

HollowTalk · 18/09/2020 00:21

@Ivenamechangedforthis2020

His fantasy is 2 women all over him

I would have gone off him before he even finished that sentence. It says so much about him, none of it good.

Ditheringdooley · 18/09/2020 00:21

Consider exploring the fantasy via talk, porn.

Bringing fantasies into rl is a whole different game. Even if you’re both equally game which it doesn’t sound like you are.

Noting the unicorn comment above you would probably need professional support to make this happen.

He’s being a bit of a CF and probably doesn’t really expect it to happen.

MrMeeseekscando · 18/09/2020 00:21

Lol @FOJN I came here to say exactly that!
Unicorn hunters are rarely successful
Plus the 2 women all over him? No. Dick is abundant and low value, the girls are normally all over each other, it's not about him. Someone always feels left out, and it's normally the guy.

HollowTalk · 18/09/2020 00:23

It reminds me of that channel 5 documentary about swinging.

FOJN · 18/09/2020 00:24

Dick is abundant and low value, the girls are normally all over each other, it's not about him.

Nail meets head

Aquamarine1029 · 18/09/2020 00:24

If this nonsense was something you were really into and excited about, you would have done it by now. You're not wanting to do it and it will totally fuck up your marriage if you do. Honestly, I think your marriage is in trouble anyway because your husband is a twat.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 18/09/2020 00:26

@Ivenamechangedforthis2020

His fantasy is 2 women all over him

How very original.

Every man’s fantasy is two women all over him. Most of them realise that it’s not usually compatible with marriage, so they leave it exactly where it should be - as a fantasy.

I fantasise about multiple men all over me. In reality I know it would be seedy and weird and my BF would never look at me the same way again after watching me with another man in/on me. In the midst of sex I once told him to meet someone while he was away on business and film her blowing him. If he actually did it I’d fucking murder him!

We’re not animals, we’re above this behaviour, even if some stupid part of us doesn’t realise that yet.

goldensummerhouse · 18/09/2020 00:36

Are you attracted to women, have you had sexual relationships with women in the past? If you want to explore that side of your sexuality it might be better to do it without needing to pacify a penis at the same time...

I think it might be a good idea to shut down that conversation. If you wouldn't want him to go out with friends and screw another woman, don't assume that you'll feel any more comfortable or in control when he's fucking a stranger right in front of you.

And how would you even find someone? Would you hire a sex worker?

combatbarbie · 18/09/2020 00:38

I love the prudes of mumsnet coming out to play!!

OP swinging is more common than you think but you both need to be on the same page on wants, desires and expectations. If it's one sided ie he wouldn't allow you to mmf then don't do it!

PyongyangKipperbang · 18/09/2020 00:39

I have had this conversation.

I asked him how he would feel seeing another man (MMF being my thing) having sex with me and making me hit the spot, and he said he would hate it. So, says I, how do you think I would feel seeing another woman doing that to you? Upshot is that we agreed to keep it in the fantasy zone.

We talk about what we would do and we get horny about it but just between us.

BewilderedDoughnut · 18/09/2020 00:40

I’ve rarely heard of a threesome playing out the way the people involved envision it will. Better in the mind than in reality I think. It can make things complicated and messy very, very quickly.

RaingodsWithZippos · 18/09/2020 00:40

When I was 18 and in an abusive relationship with an older man, he instructed me to ask my friend if she would have a threesome with us. I didn't fancy her and I don't think he really did, but he wanted to see how far I would go for his approval. I mentioned it in passing to her in a jokey way and she just laughed like a drain. I am so glad she thought i was kidding because it would have felt humiliating and as though I was only doing it for him, not because I really wanted to.

(My lovely husband was an older man too and was horrified when I told him about this, so it isn't all older men are creepy bastards)

BewilderedDoughnut · 18/09/2020 00:44

Dick is abundant and low value, the girls are normally all over each other, it's not about him

This is everything!!! Imagine the look on his face as his fragile ego slowly ebbs away! Own goal! 😂

VanGoghsDog · 18/09/2020 00:46

@Ivenamechangedforthis2020

His fantasy is 2 women all over him

Gosh, what an unusual fantasy for a man to have. How unique.

JKRowlingIsMyQueen · 18/09/2020 00:51

Threesomes are a great fantasy, but disappointment in reality as one side always ends up being left out. Don't ask me how I know lmao

BatShite · 18/09/2020 00:56

Dick is abundant and low value, the girls are normally all over each other, it's not about him

Possibly the best (and most accurate!) sentence I have ever seen on here

PerveenMistry · 18/09/2020 01:08

Tell him OK but you'd rather start with a man as the third party.

SoulofanAggron · 18/09/2020 01:09

The '2 women all over him' sentiment makes him sound soo naff.

And yes, PP's have it right- usually the men have a strop as they're not being paid enough attention.

It can also lead to jealousy and arguments one way or another.

I love the prudes of mumsnet coming out to play!!

Far from it. I think it's more like women sharing their experience of men and their demands, and of threesomes.

wildcherries · 18/09/2020 01:09

Dick is abundant and low value, the girls are normally all over each other, it's not about him.

This is so on point.

1forAll74 · 18/09/2020 01:10

Would your children be aware that their Mum and Dad are maybe contemplating a three some with another woman.

Original poster

Ivenamechangedforthis2020 · 18/09/2020 01:13

Thanks all. Just showed dh this thread and he was horrified! Says if we are both up for it great but if I have any concerns then we should leave it.

Understands my point of view about another woman and would’nt want to see with another man, only if it was what I wanted. I said my girl on girl fantasy would not involve him but he’d be turned on to watch.

OP posts:

FOJN · 18/09/2020 01:13

Would your children be aware that their Mum and Dad are maybe contemplating a three some with another woman.

I would think the children are not given any information about their parents sex life, threesome or otherwise. Was your post an attempt to shame the OP because you don't seem to be making a point?

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