The big O through penetration only... how?!

[NorahChangedHerName]

AIBU to find it really frustrating that orgasms are so easy for men and so difficult for some women?!! It drives me up the wall!!

Name changed for this as I don't usually choose to discuss this kind of thing on mn! Not that it's anything to be ashamed of but, you know...

Anyway. I've always had this real desire to have an orgasm through penetration only. Thing is. I just can't do it!

Has anyone ever gone from not being able to to being able to? And if so, how?! I find it such a mood killer, having to masturbate myself whilst DP and I have sex. I almost feel envious of him that he can orgasm through penetration alone! I know this is the norm for men but I would love it to happen to me, just once...

Any ideas? Or is it just impossible for some women...?

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You know there's a sex topic on here, op?

Impossible for me...... but I keep trying lol

@mostdays I do, but for some bizarre reason it says 'unable to post' when I try to post in it so I posted here instead.

It changed for me but only when I changed partners 😂

@user1484247439 bugger... not sure it's quite worth leaving the father of my child over haha!

You need to have been a member for a certain amount of time to post on the "sex" board.
Can't help you I'm afraid, I've always found it really easy, never had to think about it. Not sure it's down to partner or just some people being able to easily and some not?

Try a cock ring!

You have to have been on mumsnet for a certain period of time to post in the sex topic to stop sex trolls.

A vibrating one, I mean...

Only certain positions though - best is boring old missionary!

I feel you pain. Never been able to and have often wondered why. Numerous partners so it must be me.

Yes for me this was impossible with a partner I had, with DP not impossible! it's about foreplay and passion as much as anything else personally.

Orgasms can be hard for men to.

You just need to find what works for you. Not everyone can.

It’s only happened with one man. He could keep
It going for hours( literally) and I think that’s part of it. It’s not like a clitoral orgasm with the build up and release, it comes in waves, and keeps going for ages. The waves are like the normal pleasure of penetration, but they keep growing and increasing.

If you look up a diagram of your clitlurs you will actually find that it extends down towards the opening of your vagina. A lot if people seen to find a lot of movement in that region quite stimulating. Another thing that works for some women is asking your partner to penetrate but not move for a while if that makes sense. Just to gift you an opportunity to get anywhere near climax. Alternatively you could try different positions. Different positions work for different people.

I was going to say the same 're having to be a member a certain time

To prevent people.from joining just to ask people about their.sex lives I guess....

I can, but only me on top and a more grinding motion than a thrusting one if that makes sense. That way you’re hitting all the nerve endings on the inside and outside. The nerves from the clitoris are about 4 inches long and go back into the body and then fork around the vulva, so grinding on top hits them all.

apparently theres a certain position that works, called “coital alignment technique”

ive only ever had it with an ex, who had a slightly curved penis so i think that helped..

@NC123334 ah, that would be why! I've been here for less than a month...

@BrutusMcDogface I've always thought about it!!

@StealthNinjaMum sex trolls? Blimey. Some people have no life whatsoever if that's how they get their kicks!!

@Jannilost They can indeed however it's not usually the norm (not from my experience anyway!)

Thanks for all the suggestions! My sex life is pretty great and I know I'm lucky I can reach orgasm at all as I have friend who has never had one at the age of 40. I would just love DP to make me orgasm for once!

Yes! Went from thinking there was something very wrong with me to a perfect match with my husband.

For me it's the size. Average seems to work the best. The larger size just seemed to miss all the 'sweet spots'.

We are so conditioned in society to think bigger is better. Well I found out that for me this really isn't the case.

I literally find penetration feels just mildly pleasurable and moreish but nothing close to clitorla stimulation. In fact once there's something in there it kind of switches me off from being able to focus on clitoral stimulation at all, I can't get off even with help . I've tried getting men to do that curling motion with fingers to find my g-spot but that just feels like someone's poking me with a sharp stick and makes me want a wee - maybe I'm just completely over sensitive?!

@purpleorchidwhite to be honest, I am 27 and have only had 3 sex partners, ever! So don't have much experience. But DP is, erm, well endowed shall we say. Maybe that's the problem...

I think it’s a lot to do with your ‘lay out’ down there. To put it bluntly, if your clit is close to the opening of your vagina, you’ll have more luck. Not for everyone, of course.

Pelvic floor exercises should help increase your chances though, and I sometimes find if I clench and unclench a bit during sex or masturbation it can help bring on an orgasm. Saying that, I do generally end up masturbating myself during sex.