The big O through penetration only... how?!

[NorahChangedHerName]

AIBU to find it really frustrating that orgasms are so easy for men and so difficult for some women?!! It drives me up the wall!!

Name changed for this as I don't usually choose to discuss this kind of thing on mn! Not that it's anything to be ashamed of but, you know...

Anyway. I've always had this real desire to have an orgasm through penetration only. Thing is. I just can't do it!

Has anyone ever gone from not being able to to being able to? And if so, how?! I find it such a mood killer, having to masturbate myself whilst DP and I have sex. I almost feel envious of him that he can orgasm through penetration alone! I know this is the norm for men but I would love it to happen to me, just once...

Any ideas? Or is it just impossible for some women...?

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It helps if your bladder isn't empty (I don't mean so full that you risk setting yourself but a bit full) I read this in a magazine years ago . Also agree with missionary position then you can angle his body so it's moving in same way your hand would be if it was a diy .

Wetting not setting

@Awwlookatmybabyspider it's really irritating when people join a thread just to tell the OP that they're not answering their question. Why not just not bother posting in the first place?

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Thanks for responses everyone! DP is on night shifts so not like I'll be trying any of them anytime soon however 🤣

Are you letting him control the speed and movement? Tell him to hold still and you get comfy

I highly recommend the book "The Wonder Down Under; a user's guide to the vagina" which covers this. It's written by a couple of doctors who got frustrated by the myths about female anatomy.

Hi @Somerville - googling now. Thanks!

Is that the book that has just been recently released? I was reading about them.

Try doggy or putting a cushion underneath you while you do missionary or as the other posters said try changing the speed

I used to be able to when on top.
Then I had 2 dc and now it doesn't work anymore. Guess things changed with the births so I don't get the same feeling now.

I think there is some truth in the whole half full bladder it sounds crazy but it does work

Watching for solutions ....

Him sitting on the sofa, reasonably upright. Straddle him, grind don't bounce. It doesn't do direct clit action but the general grinding helps. Do kegels regularly too and when grinding you'll naturally clench a bit. Works for me so well that I have multiple orgasms. I think it works because I'm controlling it.

@thisisouryrfx18 I have genuinely never heard of this before! I'm actually pregnant at the moment so the full bladder thing probably isn't going to happen for a while haha!

TheRoadLessRocky what does grind mean in this context? Back and forth?

I thought it was pretty rare for a woman to orgasm through penetration only. We need to be teaching people that it's stimulating the clit that's the main thing for women so they don't wait (like I did) until 30 to realise it wasn't usually much to do with penetration like everyone assumes it is. Gosh, I wonder where the idea that penetration is the way came from? Nothing to do with it being the way men easily get their rocks off, I'm sure. [hmmm]

Also being on the floor helps as you'll naturally tense your legs and bum to keep a grip on the floor which will tighten everything else ! Just watch you don't end up with cramp in your feet !

Yes, the book was recently released. It's here www.amazon.co.uk/Wonder-Down-Under-Users-Vagina/product-reviews/1473666902/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_hist_5?filterByStar=five_star&pageNumber=1&reviewerType=all_reviews&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8#reviews-filter-bar
I thought I was fairly well educated on my own anatomy, but actually learned a fair bit. Including that the only type of orgasm women have is clitoral - but the clitoris is astonishing large so it can be reached from other angles depending on personal anatomy. (Not mine, though.)

Has to be the right size and shape cock. Cowgirl, leaning forwards and grinding on it. 1000000x better than a clitoral orgasm. Like blackout better.

Have you tried putting a pillow under your bottom? a change of angle can help.

Errr no @Echobelly it's because when you have the right size and shape cock inside you and you ride it properly, or get your legs over your head, a penetration orgasm is pretty fucking easy.

well it used to work for me with my
ex bf (who i am over) and his beautiful cock (which i will never be over) but not with my current dp

Things that I find help-
Me on top, with me rubbing against his pubic bone
Him on top, with optional cushion under my bottom. Slow-ish movement.

A non-empty bladder helps.
I find visualising him penetrating me helps (not sure why!) - gets you into the headspace needed.

Try not to overthink or panic. Lots of foreplay to make sure you are really turned on.

I am avidly taking notes