The big O through penetration only... how?!

[NorahChangedHerName]

AIBU to find it really frustrating that orgasms are so easy for men and so difficult for some women?!! It drives me up the wall!!

Name changed for this as I don't usually choose to discuss this kind of thing on mn! Not that it's anything to be ashamed of but, you know...

Anyway. I've always had this real desire to have an orgasm through penetration only. Thing is. I just can't do it!

Has anyone ever gone from not being able to to being able to? And if so, how?! I find it such a mood killer, having to masturbate myself whilst DP and I have sex. I almost feel envious of him that he can orgasm through penetration alone! I know this is the norm for men but I would love it to happen to me, just once...

Any ideas? Or is it just impossible for some women...?

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I briefly dated two complete knob ends. They were both dishonest, sexist and promiscuous but really good in bed.

Sadly they really weren't partner material. Averaged sized but experienced. They seemed quite focused on my reactions to what they were doing and very confident about what they were doing. Lots of foreplay.

Do you have plenty of foreplay before hand I find most of the time it helps me, the biggest orgasm I had was through anal if your open to giving that ago.

Errr no @Echobelly it's because when you have the right size and shape cock inside you and you ride it properly, or get your legs over your head, a penetration orgasm is pretty fucking easy.

Most women never experience orgasm in this way, and that is fine. We really shouldn't be encouraging the very outdated belief that women who need direct clitorial stimulation in some way don't work properly. Neither that their partner has the "wrong" size and shape penis. To quote from the book I mentioned before:
"Just remember, there is only one orgasm. As such, the vagina is almost insensitive. In fact, less than ⅓ of women actually have an orgasm during intercourse that only involves the vagina. And guess what makes the difference? The exact position of the clitoris head. Located near the vagina, it favours the vaginal orgasm. But not all women have this stroke of luck…"

Instead of focussing on vaginal orgasms, we should be concentrating on the wonder of the clitoris: as many nerve endings as on the head of a penis (something like 10k? don't remember exaactly) but more concentrated in a smaller area; clitoral erections; etc...

Never had one until I met my DH. It's one reason I married him. Don't have any tips though, guessing it's maybe a size thing and he just hits the spot for me.

@Albadross I could have written your post! I thought it was just me!

Try with him sitting on the bed or a chair with you sitting on him with your back to him do that he can stimulate you. Works for me

Disagree totally with shapes and sizes I've always been lucky enough to easily have orgasms through sex and it isn't about the penis penetration it's about the bodies rubbing together but having the penis inside makes a much more intense orgasm. Also agree that good fore play is vital and a creative imagination in terms of fantasies

IME a pillow under your bottom lifts and tilts the pelvis during Missionary to make it easier for their penis to stimulate the g spot

I thought it was pretty well established that only about a third of women report orgasming through penetration alone?

Not sure it’s a goal worth pursuing, it also explains why heterosexual women are much less likely to orgasm during sex than lesbians.

@Fightthebear I'm surprised it's as much as a third!!

I'm a bit confused about the clitoral orgasms only. I have had (once - been hoping for another ever since) an orgasm through nipple stimulation only and (more than once) one in my dreams, which involved none!
But back to the op, I find nipple stimulation during penetration very helpful, if that doesn't count as cheating. And lots of foreplay. And yes to the vibrating cock rings.

A lot of it is mental, if you think you can't you won't, I had a mental block for a long time thinking I couldn't orgasm through oral sex, once I relaxed and stopped over thinking it - it happened.
Just take your time and relax and enjoy the whole act of sex and not think of the orgasm (if that's possible )

A lot of it is definitely mental. Have you ever been so into someone that even thinking about them when you're in a certain state of mind can give you a slight orgasmiic twinge (not a proper one more's the pity!), and that's purely brought on by thought alone.

Evening all. OP, as you've spotted, we don't allow folk to post in the Sex topic generally until they've earned their stripes. We can see though that your thread is causing a bit of a stir on the main boards, so if you don't mind we thought we might shift it over to the sex topic just this once. You should be able to post there yourself when you've been here three months. Hopefully you can contain yourself until then with any future threads!

hdh747 I have had orgasms through nipple stimulation alone

Recently had an amazing vaginal orgasm for the first time when my boyfriend used a curved dildo on me in exactly the right way - he was so pleased I hadn't had to "help myself" - not that he minds my helping in the slightest

Haha thank you @HebeMumsnet ! And glad that your comment helps to confirm that I am in fact not a troll!! Many thanks for moving it over for me!

The comment does not confirm anything. Other than that you'll indeed have to contain yourself for 90 days. Should be easy enough.

On top, leaning well forward, grind & thrust alternating, boob play. 2nd go after him tends to work. Lots of time. Lucky to have many synchronised ones like this.......nice!!! 😍

I can, although not every time. I never used to be able to though, it just sort of.......... happened. I find good foreplay and being really turned on helps, and certain positions (doggy and missionary but with a pillow tucked under the bum/hips helps as it tilts my pelvis back).

I've been with my husband 14 years so it's not something that I can put down to a change of partner.

Couldn't he do the handiwork rather than you?