Achieving orgasm through PIV - woman on top?

[MyNameIsReddish]

My first post in sex topic - let's hope this works!

Orgasm through PIV is something I've never managed and I wish I could.

I keep reading that woman-on-top is the way to go, but I can't really work out how this is supposed to give clitoral stimulation (I'm probably being dense). Anyone care to enlighten me? Do you have to bend far forward rather than sit upright? Am I doing it all wrong??

Other suggestions for orgasm through PIV also welcomed...

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It's the lake of effort, and the thoughtlessness that would bother me OP. Not all men can be great in bed, but you can teach them to at least get to a certain level, but they must be willing to put a womans needs first, and be considerate towards those needs. For example..... My DH cannot make me orgasm through PIV because he suffers from PE, which is not his fault, but he would never just roll over and go to sleep without making sure that I have had my release, usually both before and after he has penetrated me! He does his best to make me happy!

He sounds so bad in bed I feel a bit sorry for him (and you). He definitely needs some training. My DP loves giving oral and will happily do it for ages and I have to say in ten years together I have never been bitten!

As for PIV orgasms, I can always orgasm on top. Sometimes I only have to move very slowly and I'm done. It doesn't seem to matter how I move on top, it always works. I will say that it is more intense if he is also sitting up. I also can orgasm through missionary; it helps if you get your legs up!

He really needs to learn to be less selfish. My DP ensures I finish first and he really enjoys getting me there. He has said in the past that turning me on is his favourite part of sex. Could it be that your DP lacks confidence? He seems to have some odd misconceptions!

This is th second thread in sex to suggest 30 minutes of fisting. I refuse to believe anyone has that amount of time available.

Really fisting sounds like a lot of unnecessary stretching, but each to their own. It's just not necessary to be OTT to get satisfaction OP. What you do need is someone who does not use getting cramp as an excuse to give up.
Imagine a time - we've all been there - where gripping and pulling is giving you a bit of arm ache, how much easier would that motion have been to keep up if it was just stroking and not gripping at the same time? It's an easier action for a man! And when it occurs, if the other is obviously enjoying it and 'getting there', would you just stop and say "sorry, cramp," or would you change hands, alter position, use some other way of stimulating, to get to the 'final destination' ? People in a respectful, equal, loving relationship get a lot out of giving not just receiving.

30 mins is hardly an outrageous length of time. If you enjoy something it doesn't matter how long it takes.

God 30 minutes of foreplay? Only if I could have the tv on, I'd be bored stiff [fnarr]

I refuse to believe anyone has that amount of time available.
Good grief! 30 minutes is hardly that long!
Fisting is not necessary but a decent amount of foreplay most definitely is. If you get bored, he's doing it wrong.

It's mood dependent, and time dependent, nothing wrong with a quickie if it's late and you need to get up early. Men don't have to spend a certain amount of time on anything every time, but, if you consistently get little attention, whilst giving more, then it's a poor show.

That goes for any partnership, not just men. Equal give and take :-)

logical I guess I have a hair trigger!

well I've recently started to suffer from ED and I know it saddens DW because I don't get ironbar hard like I used to. That was the thing that gave DW the internals. She thinks that because I'm not rockhard, I'm not arroused enough by her, which in turn deflates her arousal. Over the last couple of nights it's become quite noticeable, If I go down or play with her she has a clitoral orgasm, but once inside we can both tell it's a bit soft, like a semi ripe banana. The fits still good for her as she still feels stretched but when she did her grip release it was obvious. I suppose I'd better get along to the doctor to see if it can be fixed. I've suggested dildos but she says it won't be the same

Sigma - might be easily fixed with a trip to the GP, worth a go?

yep I should, plus I should loose weight and start getting fit

It's interesting that you say your partner would give you oral whenever you want it...by "slipping" he has made sure you will never want it.

My honest advice is to ditch him...if he was interested in how you feel about sex he would ask you

Agh! I don't want to "ditch him"! We've been married 15 years, have DC, everything is good really. I would just like sex to be a bit more satisfying for me. It's not even that sex isn't good - it is and i enjoy it - it's just that often it just stops without my having any kind of climax.

So... several people say woman on top, with man sitting up, is a good way to feel more during PIV. Can I ask where the legs go in this position? And does the man need to lean on something? Thank you!

How is sex good when he won't take ten minutes to give you foreplay?
Ok, don't ditch him, but accept that he's a very selfish lover and needs to change his attitude big time otherwise it will never get better. Any amount of tips on positions won't change that.

Maybe I have given the wrong impression... It's not that I never come! And I don't think he is really terribly selfish - maybe just a bit clueless on the female orgasm. He is happy to give me a long back massage before sex, for example.

It's just that it would only be a special session, where we have lots of time, where he would really devote much attention to me sexually, and even then I feel like my orgasm is a bit of a chore for him (this could be my paranoia, rather than reality, but it seems like hard work and he gets frustrated and so do I). More usually we have a "quickie" which doesn't involve me coming.

I think I am at least half to blame. For the first few years of our relationship I faked orgasm during sex (i know, I know - I was young and thought that was "what you did") so he obviously thought everything was great. When I finally confessed I'd been faking, he was very upset. I thought things might change a bit after that and he would try to make me come in other ways - but no, and after having upset him with my confession I didn't like to push it.

It's not really an excuse OP. My husband makes sure I cum every time before he even enters me and that's even if it's just a quickie.

There's a good variety of ideas on this thread! So you want to try on top with him sitting to get started?
You can kneel in this position, feet under your bum, and move in an up-down direction, or have your legs wrapped around his bum/back and move in a grindy forward/back direction. You'll have to play around a bit!

It's a nice erotic position for kissing, caressing etc. Have him leaning up on something?
Haha it's hard to remember exactly without grabbing my fella to check right now, "how do we do this one?" He's not needed to hold on to something, except me obvs.

Don't blame yourself, and don't worry about the "LBT" Brigade. I'm sure he's lovely, you need to work together on this. Be honest with him.

Oooops LTB Brigade that should be

I'm assuming he orgasms every time sex occurs? Could you indicate that you would get more from it, if he could help you to also "by doing this "..."(insert any method that works for you).
I tend to stop doing certain things if I haven't had reciprocation for a while, that can make them think - although with some, this is too subtle an approach.
Try to impart in some way to him that the more you enjoy it, the more often you are likely to want to do it, so it could be in his own interest to make sure you get the best possible out of it. There is nothing more off- putting than knowing you are trading some more sleep for something that isn't all that great, whereas, if you are excited by what's in store, then losing a bit of sleep time seems a fair trade.
On that note, morning, day off from work, sex may get him to spend more time. Some men can get in the habit of relying on sex as a tension reliever and sleep aid, which makes it all about their experience, which is not your purpose to provide in that way if you are not happy to do so.

It's just that it would only be a special session, where we have lots of time, where he would really devote much attention to me sexually,

This is the key Reddish. Cavewoman also likes really long sessions (2-3 hours). What we have learned to do (as I said up post) is around 2 times per month, we have a long session. Sorry if TMI but this is a sex thread we start with oral on me, then it's an hour or more of focus on Cavewoman. We are not chasing an orgasm, it's just focusing on her pleasure. What keeps me interested? After Cavewoman is satisfied, it's back to my fun for half an hour or so (mainly more oral and some other stuff). We both end up happy try this with your DH.

A different position is not going to fix your problem. You are trying to fix this single-handedly when it is a joint issue.

It is completely unimaginable that my DH would not ensure I was satisfied. There are occasions when I am happy to satisfy him without getting anything out of it myself, but he would always, always offer.

I don't think you need to leave him, but I do think you need to tell him that you need more from him. Ask him how he would feel if you orgasmed after a few minutes of sex, then rolled over and went to sleep without him having the opportunity to cum. It would be unthinkable, yet that is what he is doing to you. You need more foreplay and more clitoral stimulation during sex. Both of you need to take responsibility for that.

The very first reply on this thread is the same way that I have done it, but he has to stay still and let me do the work. He's not going to do that unless he understands and agrees that your pleasure is important.
He has to learn that your orgasm is not an optional extra for special occasions. It is vital every time unless you say otherwise, but you have to be prepared to help him. A joint effort should be fun!

He is unusual. I was shagging catholic sixth formers (when I was a sixth former obv) thirty years ago and they knew:

• having a penis in you does not 'give a release'
• not to bite during oral
• that getting cramp/looking bored after 2 mins of foreplay is not the done thing.
• that just because they want to move doesn't mean I'd enjoy it.

So I think you need to explain that you want far more experimentation/foreplay/oral/69...and get lube and a vibrator. Good luck!