Achieving orgasm through PIV - woman on top?

[MyNameIsReddish]

My first post in sex topic - let's hope this works!

Orgasm through PIV is something I've never managed and I wish I could.

I keep reading that woman-on-top is the way to go, but I can't really work out how this is supposed to give clitoral stimulation (I'm probably being dense). Anyone care to enlighten me? Do you have to bend far forward rather than sit upright? Am I doing it all wrong??

Other suggestions for orgasm through PIV also welcomed...

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I have absolutely no idea...

Auto correct sorry I think PIV got transposed to shoot?

But there are two types of orgasim I do know that, clit orgasim is different to PIV orgasim

Says who?
Orgasm happens when the clitoris is stimulated and the muscles contract. How do you think penis in vagina orgasms happen? It's still clitoral stimulation. The clitoris is much bigger than most people imagine.

Orgasms don't just happen with clit stimulation

I thought irgasm wasn't possible without clitoral stimulation, and orgasms from PIV are where the clitoris is being stimulated in some way.

OP, Your husband sounds selfish and clueless.

Is it really her first ? Isn't it more fun to mix it up a bit, or am i the only woman to finds that PIV doesn't stay enjoyable for very long, if it happens shortly after my orgasm?

The things we discover on MN.

Maybe Masters and Johnson should have come up with an Andgasm to go with the orgasm... its where someone goes "and, well, where is it? I'm supposed to have one and your supposed to provide it". Maybe they did and went "shit, this isn't going to work" and just stuck with the it's him OR her gasm

No but clitoral stimulation is an essential part of an orgasm. The clitoris can be stimulated from the inside but there are not 'two kinds of orgasm'

Clit stimulation isn't an essential part of an orgasm and there are two different types

I agree with Ivy on the 2 types of orgasm. For me the PIV is 'deeper' and very powerful. The clit one - it's still very good - is not as powerful. PIV kind doesn't happen too often, as, to be honest, it's quite debilitating for me! DH really gets aroused with it and yes the fore play can last over an hour as we both enjoy giving pleasure to each other.

No matter how long you've been together OP, your DP needs to be fulfilling YOU. It's no wonder you're having trouble reaching a climax if he gets bored/gets cramp after a few minutes. Sexual intimacy isn't just about his needs, he needs to shape up and start putting you first. He needs to be patient with you and gain some trust. Then, you'll relax more and enjoy it more.

There aren't different types of orgasms, there are different intensities.

Sometimes direct clitoral stimulation is a very direct route to orgasm, so there is less of a build up. This can make the resulting orgasm less powerful. Also the clitoris can become over sensitive and uncomfortable with too much direct stimulation, so your own body can stop you from getting that greater intensity.

A vaginal orgasm happens because the clitoris is being stimulated internally. The clitoris isn't just the little bit you can see on the outside, most of it is internal. Because the stimulation isn't direct, it tends to take longer to build up to. It will get you close but not there more times. The resulting orgasm can be more intense.

A powerful orgasm can be achieved by edging. Direct stimulation of the clitoris, but not as far as orgasm. Get close then stop and do something else, then repeat several times until you can't take it any more. It gets to the point where anything will tip you over the edge and the resulting orgasm is explosive and incredibly intense.

I've also had spontaneous orgasms with no stimulation at all (not something I have any control over). Some women can have orgasms through breast stimulation.

The orgasms are totally different and it's not the intensity but the shear fact they are different

Do you understand the physiology of the female body?

There aren't two different types. An orgasm is a physical response.

Orgasms often vary in how they feel. They feel different standing up to lying down, with or without vaginal stimulation, whether it's a quickie or an all-nighter, whether it is achieved by vibrator, tongue or fingers, dare I mention anal stimulation, the angle of PIV, how long it's been since the last time, the emotional connection - there are hundreds of things that make it feel different at different times. You may experience it two distinct ways but I experience it loads of different ways. Sometimes it grips my whole body, makes me light headed and lasts for ages, other times it feels more localised and is over very quickly, but there's lots inbetween. I can get lots of different orgasms by stimulation in various different ways. There are definitely not 2 distinct ways for me to orgasm.

Good post logicalthinking

I also disagree there are plainly two different types of orgasm for woman (PIV or clitoral).

Sure, there are various ways of going about it but an orgasm is an orgasm all in all.

There are a hundred different levels of intensity to be felt, male or female, depending on mood and technique at the given time.

A clitoral orgasm feels the same as a PIV orgasm but it's obviously acheived differently.

Also, there is no evidence to suggest multiple orgasms in women are achieved more effectively through PIV or clitoral stimulation, as both are equally likely to result in multiple orgasm depending on mood/technique at the time.

I'm slightly confused here and would agree with ivy that the two orgasms I get are completely different. I was of the belief that I have a clitoral and g-spot because they feel completely different and my body reacts in a different way with each, for example I squirt with internal stimulation and do not with clitoral.

I orgasm solely through foreplay and despite having g-spot orgasms, I haven't cracked it through PIV. As far as I'm concerned, as long as I do achieve orgasms (both types preferably) I'm happy.

For me I need to solely concentrate on myself and what my body is feeling. I cannot get there without doing that.

I agree with both Ivy and Ninja. I also feel a distinct difference between a clit orgasm and a vaginal orgasm. Whether they are one of the same thing does not bother me, but they are so different, they may as well be two separate things. I love both, but an intense session of PIV with a well endowed man, with great stamina and skills can really make me lose myself, because my orgasms are so intense, and once he gets me there, I can have one after the other. It leaves me very satisfied in a way that a clitoral orgasm simply doesn't.

with a well endowed man, with great stamina and skills can really make me lose myself, because my orgasms are so intense, and once he gets me there, I can have one after the other

I call this the "jelly orgasm" bridgetoc (I am not a doctor and this is not a technical term ), after an hour or so of PIV in various positions Cavewoman hits this "barrier". Then she shivers/shakes for about 10 minutes and can't be touched as she is like a UXB.. After that she is done.

We can excellerate this by fisting (crap term, really it should be called "putting fingers like a ducks neck, pushing in until if feels tight, and then a teensy weeny bit more") 20-30 minutes of this does the same trick (jelly orgasm). This may relate to your well endowed comment.

Op - most people get to happiness by experimentation, but you may need to be explicit with what you want. Tell your DP that you want some sessions where you experiment to find what you like best. You can offer to have similar sessions for him. (This is not a stealth boast) 2 or 3 times per month we have a session I partly described above. I know that an hour or even two will be focused on getting my partner to the "state" I described. Yes at times a can get I tad bored but we more than make up for it in return.

The fact that some women feel vaginal and clitoral orgasms differently, doesn't mean that there are two different types. You could well achieve your vaginal type orgasm through different stimulation, but most women find what works for them and stick to it, so they don't explore other ways of getting there. The G-spot is the internal part of the clitoris, it's just a less direct way of stimulating it (depending on your anatomy). The way that people are able to stimulate the g-spot is very different to the direct stimulation of the clitoris, that makes the build up and resulting orgasm feel different. You can learn to achieve the same thing with other stimulation.
I can orgasm quite quickly if I want to but I tend to allow it to build up for as long as I can as that gives me a much better experience overall. I have had a few multiple orgasms this way (though not often) and these also feel quite different. There's a whole spectrum, not just two types.

"Stamina" is the key word in both Caveman and Bridgetoc's posts
Increase the time and find the type of stimulation to get you to that place where you completely lose yourself. There are lots of ways of doing that.
It's a combination of different stimulation (preferably simultaneously) that does it for me.

My head is reeling! 30 minutes of fisting?! Multiple orgasms? Anal vibrators?? Er....I think i might need to take this slowly, one small step at a time. I would just like sex to be a teeny bit more satisfying. Any kind of orgasm would do for me right now. You lot are scaring me off a bit...

Tbh 30 mins of foreplay with a vibrator or fingers is pretty standard, you need to be very direct with your dh, you've been short changed for too long by the sounds of things!

You really don't need to do anything that you don't want to do. It wouldn't even work if you didn't want it. You really have to be relaxed and comfortable to get the most from sex.
Keep it simple but make sure you get what you need. I would recommend the bullet vibe I posted earlier if you want to make it a bit easier to get there.

I suspect that why we treat the orgasms as different, is because they definitely feel different, and are experienced from stimulating different places. Both opinions have some truth, as you are stimulating different parts of the same organ, but with different resulting feeling. So if someone orgasms by PIV, usually they are doing it by stimulation of the internal end of the clitoral organ, not the outside.
Back to the position, the woman on top works as a suggestion to have orgasm from internal stimulation.
If internal stimulation does not do it for you - as it doesn't for many- but you still want to try for orgasm during PIV, you need a position where either yours, or your partners, hands can comfortably reach the external clitoris to stimulate it at the same time. I hope that clears it up.

Actually 'the woman comes first' idea could aid PIV orgasm as it can, for some, become more internally sensitive after an external orgasm has been experienced. You may have noticed that if your external clitoris is touched again just after orgasm, it is way too sensitive. Likewise, if you touch the external clitoris just after an internal orgasm, it seems hypersensitive. However, if the internal clitoris is touched after an external orgasm, it's not quite so hypersensitive, somehow, you don't need the same refractory period from that end and it can be pleasurable, even more so.

I can relate to your post for previous partners but not my current lovely one,
Your dp is selfish/ignorant even if not intentionally and with you not putting your needs as a priority you have also allowed it to happen.

I had a clitoral orgasm on top and we worked together in doing so. Was slow paced and just nice. I was turned on before we started and I think that helped a lot.
Only piv orgasmed recently for the first time and that was with a dildo and oral.

He is very attentive and does put me first as my pleasure is his pleasure I think.
I won't let him go anytime soon😉
It won't happen over night but get him trained even a simple on top and be in control situation, if you properly orgasm he might realise what he and you have been missing.