can I ask how long you had known dh/dp

[NorfolkEnchantsToday]

Before you did anything sexual?

I'm curious.
I've met someone id quite like to be in a relationship with but now I've met him and dated him 3 times I'm not sure of the etiquette

I'm probably not much help, DH was a one night stand. In 1983.

Do you want to move it on, or are you happy to wait a bit longer? I don't think there's an established etiquette about it, it's about what suits both parties.

I normally end up getting used.... That's the issue so I don't know how to approach it

A few hours?

About 10 years (we were friends before we dated).

Do you think the time doesn't matter then?

Obviously I don't think the time matters, but others feel differently. When you say you've felt "used" in the past, do you mean you've had sex when you'd rather not, or that the bloke buggers off after the first shag?

When I met DH (in my early 20's) I was viewing sex very much as a fun pass-time rather than meaning any great committment - but again, others feel differently.

Firstly love your name - also Norwich way and love the Nimmo Twins!

I'm also probably not much help as I was 17 when I met my dh and we had been talking online for weeks so we ended up doing something sexual the first date. It worked out though and we've been together over 10 years.

Knew DH for about 9 months, shagged before we actually started dating. We're both grown ups, been around the houses, I couldn't be arsed wuth playing games or 'etiquette'. If you want to shag each other, do it!

About 3 weeks I think, once we'd started dating. But I'd met him about 5 months before then.

About 4 hours.

3rd date I think?

I'd met him once before at a social thing. We went home together the next time we met.

Maybe 2 hours? --conservative guess-

I'm another ONS person so it was a few hours after we met. But as others said I didn't mind if it went nowhere and viewed sex just as a fun thing to do with someone just because I fancied them.

What happened in the past, when you say you felt.used? Is sex ment to be a committed relationship thing for you?

Is he pushing for sex - for me that would be a turn off - but I like to be the initiator in these things.

They normally shag me and bugger off!

It was after a week

It's not that I see sex as committed it's just that id like someone to stick around and I'm wondering if I am looking easy going to bed straight away.

He's a nice guy, he had tried sexting me but I can't let go if you know what I mean, I'm finding myself being more factual than fun due to anxiety

Do they know that you're after more?

With my husband it took me 30 seconds to realise I was going to shag him, about 10 minutes to realise I was going to marry him.

About 2 hours. We have been together 15 years (tomorrow)

Knew him before going out but since going out-

Kiss a few hours, touching a few weeks and sex 3 months but I was 18.

2nd date. Met his parents and family on the third date and got pregnant that day.
Been together 17 years.

Mmm, thing is there are some men who will hang around for however long and still bugger off once they've shagged you, thrill of the chase and all that. And if you wait too long you might find yourself more emotionally involved, and so more hurt when/if it happens.

If anyone thinks you're "easy" for getting into bed "too soon", just remember that he's right there with you!

I wasn't looking for a relationship when I met DH (actually had a moment when I looked at him sleeping and thought to myself that I'd rather have met him a couple of years later) but here we are 30-odd years on.

I don't do sexting either, or dirty talk, just makes me squirm!

Within minutes of DP walking up my stairs

Met online, arranged for him to come to mine for sex. Gave him my address and told him to let himself in. It was supposed to be a one time event.

We live together now.

Wait until you have really established some sort of relationship out side of the dates. Forget 3rd date - what does that mean? Nothing as it is too arbitrary.

Do some non dates like walks, activities, things with friends and find some mutual bonds first.

This might be interesting for you.
2:55 into the video
www.today.com/video/today/55617110