Porn and new od

[spankingnewme]

Met a guy online, all going well. Tried couple new things as he obviously was into them anal being one. Liked him a lot so tried more than once dispite it never being on my to do list and found it ok but nowhere near as pleasurable as normal sex which I love. Anyway had a very rare wknd away together and he'd bought me a couple of pairs of sexy undies and some anal beads, also we watched some porn, which I don't usually but after he was asleep I carried on flipping through clips and found the most revolting things like women being as they called it 'face fucked' till they puked omg it was vile and I wish I could unsee what these stupid women were letting be done to them ( they did not look like trafficked women just normal porn 'stars') anyway it's tainted my view on him and his porn usage, if he watches this stuff which I'm sure he does and explains why he likes the cum in your face thing, then he's just going to want more and more isn't he? Gutted as he seemed ok, bloody pissed off this filth is on the net as it has no place and the men should be fuckin well castrated.

You are completely batshit.

Is that to me or the OP?

I'm hoping that was aimed at the op, NN

I think you are absolutely right that women sometimes engage in sex that they're not happy with, in order to please. We (and men, too) also gain pleasure from giving our partners pleasure, and there's nothing wrong with that. In fact I'd say giving is a huge part of a fulfilling sex life. There's a huge difference though between gaining pleasure by giving it, and going through with something because you're afraid he'll leave you or call you frigid if you don't.

Wrt pain, there are all sorts of physiological as well as psychological explanations for people enjoying it. At the mildest end of the spectrum, gentle nipple clamps for example (or even earlobe nibbling!) can be lovely. But again, there's a world of difference between that and some of the scary, violent stuff out there.

after he was asleep I carried on flipping through clips and found the most revolting things

anyway it's tainted my view on him and his porn usage

Can I just point out op that YOU decided to watch these films whilst he was asleep, For all You know he could have woken up seen you watching and thought 'Fuck This, I never want to see this Woman again if thats the shit she's into'.

I watch porn and I must say I have NEVER come across a film where someone was violently sick and crying after being face fucked.

Redglitter I get what you are saying about the involuntary eye watering, it happens to me too, it does not in any way mean I am being abused or not enjoying it.

Off topic but HandsomeGroom great name. High five!

FellOut

Can I just point out op that YOU decided to watch these films whilst he was asleep, For all You know he could have woken up seen you watching and thought 'Fuck This, I never want to see this Woman again if thats the shit she's into'.

No, I don't get that. She flicked through to see the porn he watches and you think he will get very confused and think that's the porn she watches and be angry with her?

Ok, If she was looking through his porn history, which is not what she said, I understand.

If she was just ficking through other films online, I stand by what I said.

I don't understand where the desire for humiliation/pain comes from.
So because you don't understand it, your only conclusion is that women must be somehow coerced socially or subconsciously? I think that's quite insulting to women. We are so pressured by society that we don't know our own minds?
There's a well-researched link between pain and pleasure. Pain heightens sensations, it increases blood flow. As long as the pain doesn't cause damage, then why does it matter if the woman enjoys being spanked for instance?

I think there should be more control over the porn on the internet - anything that looks like it is painful should be blocked.
Who gets to define what causes pain? Would you include anal sex in that? What if the anal sex was between 2 men? Do you want to ban BDSM from the internet?
I do understand your concerns about porn, but I think that what you are asking for is impossible, both in definition and execution.

If people are going to do activities which have the potential to be painful, then the person who is likely to get hurt should be the one in control at all times. So no face fucking, for example.
What if the woman IS in complete control? When I do it with my DH I can stop him with a signal in an instant.
PIV can cause pain, it requires the trust you get from the relationship to ensure that the woman doesn't get hurt.

If you are willing to have sex with someone, you are going to find yourself out of control at some point. If you don't trust that person enough and are unwilling or unable to communicate clearly and honestly, then you probably should reconsider if it's a good idea to have sex.

I carried on flipping through clips
That sounds like she was flicking through the clips on a website.
She might have clicked on a section about face fucking or even choking
There's no indication that this is the type of thing he normally watches.

People are formed in part by the society in which they live. So I don't think it's unreasonable to wonder if our, often unequal society, is having an impact on how female sexuality manifests itself. I honestly don't know.

Privately, I guess people have the right to do what they want. You might well be in control of the activities you do at home, but is the porn actress? Probably not. I would ban all the extreme stuff on the internet, including anal and BDSM - it is not worth the risk that the participants are trafficked or coerced women. When I am queen of the world, men will just have to survive without access to this kind of porn.

In my ideal world the only porn would be stuff that fully consenting couples have chosen to put on the internet. That would require proper commitment from the government to enforce. I dont think that would be impossible but it's clearly seen as too much effort and nobody seems to care much about the women's experiences within this industry.

The internet is not owned, so enforcement by the government is almost, if not completely impossible.
There are huge problems in the porn industry, there is no doubt about that.

Some countries manage to block content though. Vaguely remember reading that you can't access internet porn in South Korea, I think.

NN not that I'm a fan of degrading porn, but that's hardly a ringing endorsement!

NNalreadyinuse - to the OP!

3sugars please no I'm not completely batshit but thanks for your little bit of input!!! Would u like to bend down and be face fucked till u puke, or explain your comment?

Or would you like to fuck the fuck off with you're misogynistic bitterness, spanking ?

ugh

Oh Christ look at any fucking porn site and see what you make of it,and I'm talking the brutal stuff, it should all be bloody illegal it's outrageous! Why is this all available?? leads on to fucking paedophilia as far as I'm concerned so these women that get paid to do it are just paving the way for these filthy fucking creatures to get sicker and sicker until they do what we all know they do. Should all be shot.

Quick frankly you're a bit of an idiot to comment that 'face fucking' leads to paedophilia. I'm not sure how these correlate to one another. As for commenting on the women that are paving the way and are 'filthy fucking creatures' some women work in porn for a number of reasons; some enjoy sex, for some it's easy money and for others it's a way of putting food on the table for their child.

So take your beads and your judgy pants and shove them up your arse where they belong.

Quick frankly you're a bit of an idiot to comment that 'face fucking' leads to paedophilia. I'm not sure how these correlate to one another. As for commenting on the women that are paving the way and are 'filthy fucking creatures' some women work in porn for a number of reasons; some enjoy sex, for some it's easy money and for others it's a way of putting food on the table for their child.
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So take your beads and your judgy pants and shove them up your arse where they belong.
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Well summed up 3 sugars!

So OP, how did he take it when you finished the relationship?

If you're going to critique her remarks, why not do so properly?

She didn't say women in porn are 'filthy fucking creatures' - she was saying that the men who watch brutal porn are.

She absolutely DID have a go at the women in one of her very early posts. The one that's been deleted.

That was why people took issue with her early on.

Her comments in that deleted post were focused on how revolting the women were. She only changed her tune when people pointed out her victims blaming.

Ok.

I was responding to 3 sugars bolding of her words and then, I feel, misrepresenting them.

op's deleted comment was one of the most misogynist posts I have ever had the misfortune to see on MN