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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

to be ridiculously excited to have just booked tickets for a swinging club for NYE party?

501 replies

goodcompany2 · 07/12/2015 13:05

First time without kids on NYE in 7 years and excited!!! Blush

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 09/12/2015 19:20

Grin This thread raises more questions than it answers for me.

AnyFucker · 09/12/2015 19:23

Perhaps you should go see for yourself 😉

Sparklingbrook · 09/12/2015 19:29

Actually I haven't got DH a Christmas present yet......

SpellBookandCandle · 09/12/2015 19:54

Anytime one group of people has a name for another group they don't like it is to " other" them, I suppose. I guess I am rather vanilla and mundane in my sexual practices. I have seen some things that make swinging unappealing to me. I don't care what other people do though as long as it doesn't scare the neighbours or frighten the horses ( that's what my mum always says anyway)

I hope ringing in 2016 at the club is a fun night for you, Op.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 09/12/2015 19:56

G'wan Sparkling, you know you want to....Wink

Sparklingbrook · 09/12/2015 19:59

I am afraid nothing I have read on this thread has made me want to give it a whirl Through. Grin

SolidGoldBrass · 09/12/2015 20:01

Lurcio, I would also agree that you can go to swingers' clubs as a single woman and have a good time. I used to do it when DS was younger, if I was feeling in the mood for a bit of uncomplicated sex. (I didn't always get it, there were nights when there was either no one I fancied or no one fancied me, but that can happen if you go out on the pull in a normal nightclub.)

And there are plenty of happy, well-adjusted people who reject monogamy, whether they go to swingers' clubs or stick to arranging meetups with others, or have ongoing multiple relationships. Just as there are plenty of fucked up, miserable and even abusive people who embrace monogamy (it's not at all uncommon for a toxic, violent and dangerous partner to be obsessed with the idea that the other person in the relationship might cheat).

DifferentCats · 09/12/2015 20:38

The shaming of women for their errant sexual desires is something that should be questioned at all times. There's no need for women to repress themselves by being rigidly faithful to a monogamous relationship in order to fit in or fulfil their function in society.

Balls to it. It's just sex. Women are not lesser for wanting more of it.

And I'm not personally into swinging, so this isn't about my own agenda.

AnyFucker · 09/12/2015 20:43

To be fair, I would be gently taking the piss out of a bloke that was waxing lyrical about swinging too

I can't speak for anyone else's sexism, or lack of it, though

naughtyjezebel · 09/12/2015 21:50

My swinger friends are a lot more switched on about sexual health matters than their non swinging counterparts. Swingers generally have a "no glove, no love" approach and have regular testing to check for symptomless bugs like chlamydia, which is very infections. The group which have the sharpest increase in HIV infections are single hetro sexuals . How many single hetros insist on 3 months of monogomy and full screening before having unprotected sex with their latest partner? The stats show that not many do.
If you look at ancient Greek, Egyption and Roman art you will see group sex, bi sex etc. Nothing new...just might seem a bit odd to prudish Brits.
Swingers clubs are very popular in many countries where the culture around sex is more relaxed than in the UK.
I have never attended one, as I dislike casual sex with strangers (unlike most of my hetro friends who do have unprotected sex with strangers because they feel so "connectected" to a random stranger after a few drinks).
But DP and I do have very sexy liaisons with couples who are good friends. It is always led by us women, who are bi and we get to dress up in fab clothes and realise our favourite fantasies. DP and I trust each other 100% and sharing this experience has added a fantastically exciting level to what is a beautiful relationship. All my idea, its the first time either of us has done this and its pretty damned good fun.
When I am old and on my deathbed, I shall go with a naughty smile, knowing I got to realise my wildest fantasies Smile

suzannecaravaggio · 09/12/2015 22:56

in particular, gay men have confronted this issue head-on

I hear it's a big thing in the gay scene
www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/the-rise-of-gay-chemsex-parties-involving-libido-enhancing-drugs-a6694951.html

DifferentCats · 09/12/2015 23:07

Nothing wrong with gentle piss taking in my book! Life is no fun otherwise.

It's the people with the really ardent insistence that it is gross that makes me wonder who they are trying to convince and why.

Enjolrass · 10/12/2015 07:09

But most in this thread haven't been saying it's disgusting.

The thread has been funny and informative.

It's works I know nothing about.

Tbh I think I am more likely to judge a man doing it more negatively than I am a woman doing it.

As it is both of us are happy being monogamous. Him probably more than me, tbh. He likes the quiet life.

Let's be honest it doesn't matter what you do someone will disagree with it. My mil is appalled that I and my kids kick box. She insists I will turn the kids into thugs. Except she has never been and watched, never met out Sensi and knows nothing about it.

My mum who did feel the same, as mil, came to a fight night and watched and she loved it. Couldn't believe how lovely all the kids were to eachother and how family like the atmosphere was.

It's all very respectful, anyone found to fighting outside the dojo are suspended.

Mils attitude doesn't bother me as I know my kids are being taught to be respectful and not fight. But they can defend themselves if they need to. It's also given them confidence and dd has come on in leaps and bounds since doing it.

If people think swinging is disgusting, let them think that....and crack on. It doesn't effect you.

cleaty · 10/12/2015 07:22

Ever noticed in the swinging scene that it is always the women who are bi, rather than the men?

Doughnutsandflapjacks33 · 10/12/2015 07:53

Some people are being a bit harsh. Though I have never been to a swingers club it doesn't bother me if others want too, if you want a bit of fun ( as a single person ) then it's the perfect place to go and if you are into it as a couple then fair enough. I am single and often hook up with single men for a bit of fun ( no strings attached ), if everyone knows where they stand then what's the problem?

OP I hope you have a great New Years party, sadly I shall be staying in, your nigh sounds much more fun.

GinIsTheBestChristmasSpirit · 10/12/2015 08:08

If you are excited good for you. Personally it's not for me.

I knew a few couples who frequented these parties back in the day. None of them are still together. That tells me all I need to know. Keep yourself safe and guard your marriage fiercely.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 10/12/2015 08:21

I used to be totally uptight at the thought of this lifestyle. But then it had a lot to do with being stuck in a shit marriage with a cheating twunt. I think it switched on my extreme polarity.

Nowadays I am with a very loving partner who has switched on a whole new side of me that I had completely closed sexually. (In my youth pre shit marriage I was very adventurous). We have experimented in lots of ways, had a three some for example...but the ultimate would be to be watched while making love in a club scenario...

Trouble is he is built like a carved granite bloody love God, which of course would be well admired in a club....

Until he climbed aboard Jabba the Hut in her best undies....then if everyone made excuses to rush for the buffet I think I'd be mortified for life.

Blush

I hope you have a great time Op. Cwtches to you from another Welsh one. Smile

naughtyjezebel · 10/12/2015 08:51

Cleaty lots of the men are bi too.

cleaty · 10/12/2015 09:02

So men frequently have sex with each other at swinging clubs?

Destinysdaughter · 10/12/2015 09:29

No they don't. However clubs often have bi nights where both men and women are bi. Also, there are a surprisingly large number of men who whilst ostensibly straight, are quite happy to indulge in a bit of bi oral action if there is another woman present. Guess it feels less ' gay ' to them...

suzannecaravaggio · 10/12/2015 10:07

I knew a few couples who frequented these parties back in the day. None of them are still together. That tells me all I need to know

It tells you nothing, not exactly rigorous research is it

PrimeDirective · 10/12/2015 10:18

OP, I hope you have a fantastic time. It definitely sounds as though you will.
I love the idea purely as a fantasy, I know in reality that it's not something I want to do. Monogamy is important to me. The voyeuristic aspect is very appealing though.

Sad to see the amount of slut shaming on the thread but not surprising.

mrsleomcgary · 10/12/2015 10:35

chemsex and swinging are NOT the same thing suzanne,even I know that and i've never been swinging in my life.

AnyFucker · 10/12/2015 10:47

What is chemsex ?

cleaty · 10/12/2015 10:52

But women frequently have sex with other women at general swinging nights?

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