Anyone tried a MMF threesome or DP?

[naughtyjezebel]

Hi I am planning a MMF threesome with my DP....and also considering trying the other kind of DP (ahem)

This is the No 1 favourite sexual fantasy of both myself and himself.

We have previously enjoyed a foursome with a couple I know and in fact we have both previously had threesome experiences before we met each other. He has suggested that we could try a MMF threesome with a friend of his from overseas, when the chap comes to visit. I very much like this idea as I have wanted to try it for years

So the desire is mutual, we are both comfortable with the idea, no one is pressuring the other etc etc. In fact the foursome we did together was pretty amazing and made us closer, as its something we both have a mutual interest in and neither of us have had a relationship before, where the other partner actually shared our taste for this kind of thing.

Can anyone tell me about their experience of MMF and in particular, has anyone tried and achieved double penetration? I really want to try this but am interested to know what it "feels like" physically before I take the errr plunge so to speak. I can do the MMF experience with or without trying DP, as its up to me, but want to find a bit more about the mechanics of it before I do so.

Thanks

Try double v... Obviously if no one is a donkey..

Hey Jezebel,

Yes, I entered anally first and she lowered herself onto Steve after. We found it was next to impossible to do it the other way around, although porn tells one it's easy... :/

We did try double V, but that wasn't working at all, a total non starter. I do know another lady who tells me it's the best. Ever. Full. Stop. But then again, she doesn't contemplate anal, so who knows?

I should add, this was a total random one nighter, we offered this lady a shared taxi ride on a freezing night, I snuggled her into my coat, we all got out when we arrived at her place. Neither of us saw her again, ever, which was a real shame.

Willy - yes double v sounds very good, I must try that too, especially if we are not able to perfect the 2 entry dp

Eekaman - that's a shame you didn't see her again, she sounds fun! What an adventurous and spontaneous woman

We are planning this for next weekend with my dp's friend, but we haven't mentioned anything to him. Just hope his friend is up for it, as we have great plans for him !! I think the idea is that if it works out, we can then meet him occassionally. He is a friend of dp, but abroad, so close enough to visit, but far enough for it not be a threat to dp. Saw a photo of him yesterday, looks like he has a nice fit bod

It's great because dp says he tried the odd 3sum/swing club in the past as a single guy, but has never before had a partner he can explore his fantasies with.

I have always fantasised about MMF/MMF/Gang bangs but only this year started to explore this and "confessed" to dp one day that I had tried a FFM 3sum, when he was away. He was delighted lol!!!

Jezebel,

Tell your dp from me thats he's a very lucky chap. Good luck with your adventures :)

hee hee thanks Eekaman so am I lucky, its nice to be able to explore some naughty fantasies in a safe and fun environment.

When I am old and lying on my deathbed, I will be able to lean across to my Priest, who will be kindly taking my last confession. When he says "have you anything to confess my dear?", I shall whisper in his ear "yes Father....I did so many gangbangs"

You know Jezabel, you could speed all of this up by visiting some swingers clubs?

A good pal of mine, proper MNetter, home counties, drives an Audi, etc does and she loves it....

yes...MMF FFM, and loved them. ((MMF was best, and i was the F!)

tried dp, but being...ahem....on the large side, along with my DH who is also large, and a thrid party who was...well lets just say....erm...quick off the mark, shall we say, it didnt work out!

Practice on your own first. I mean really on your own - two dildos.

Then next step is DP and a dildo. Perfect this, making sure you are completely comfortable with both a penis is vag, and penis is arse, and the dildo in the other hole.

Then, when completely pro, have at it.

Choose someone who won't fuck up your relationship, and play completely safe.

Eekaman my 3sums were via a swingers website . I was pleasantly surprised how many genuinely nice and smart folk I met on there! As a single (at the time), slim girly with large boobs I was extremely popular so was able to take my pick hee hee.

Dp wants to take me to swingers clubs abroad (in his home country) but not sure I am ready for that yet. At the moment, doing naughties with a few select friends is working out very nicely. We get the friendship, some lovely weekends and also the bonus of being able to play out our fantasies with people we have built up a connection with, so we can all be honest about what we want.

A few swinger female friends have warned me off clubs and events, due to the amount of unwanted pestering that can occur (older unattractive men hassling younger, more attractive gals and refusing to take no for an answer)

I like to be in control of the situation and, strangely enough, have never been into having one night stands or sex with strangers, which is also why the club scene doesn't appeal. Controlled wildness in a familiar environment, with friends, is good for me

Sowhite thanks for that!

We have been practicing with a rabbit in the rear and himself in the front entrance and vice-versa. Also rabbit and himself sharing front entrance.

The former was pretty amazing actually, I really liked the sensation of being so "full-up".

wellthatstornit - Glad you had nice MMFs!!

I am very excited in anticipation of my first, which we are hoping will be very soon, as long as his friend is up for it. I have been practicing how to introduce the suggestion to his friend. I was thinking of asking his mate (after a few drinks and while we are all in the room), "have you got a girlfriend?" (he hasn't)...then seductively suggesting "how would you like one for tonight?", before setting about mo-lesting them both

Actually your name has reminded me of what I am afraid of with dp - a bit worried that I might get injured, but of they are good boys and do as they are told, it should be OK I think

DH and i had a dabble in the swinging lifestyle for about 2 years about 7 years or so ago (when i was in my late 30's)

He had been my only partner (sexually and romantically as we got together when i was 14 and him 15)

We absolutely LOVED it and for the same reasons as you, i just wanted to be able to look back on my life and think...yeah, i wasnt all prim, prissy boring...i was a secret rebel

I stopped the full swinging lifestyle to have my last child (now 5) but we still ocassionally dabble, tho not together. Hubby goes off to swingers clubs and i have a FWB that i stick to, when i feel the urge!

good luck and have masses of fun!

So nice to hear positive stories from others who are successfully married and also have other fun as well :)

DH and I are quite new to this and it's early days but I hope it works out as well for us!

communication is the key, from talking about it before hand, discussing your boundaries (this is super important) for instance some people reserve kissing for their DP/DH only, some dont feel you can have sex with anyone without kissing, some people prefer to save oral or anal for their DP/spouse etc

(for us, it was no sex in our marital bed, that was for me and DH only, for our married lovemaking' not sex with other people...so we used to get pillows and duvets on the floor downstairs or use hotels, other peoples houses or clubs.

have a code word that you and hubby can say if either of you arent happy, or are uncomfortable or just want to call a halt to things straight away.

I/we dont regret a single moment of it all, even the bad bits (of which there were relatively few!!) and its made us stronger in our marriage.

I'm loving the fact that there is another side to MN, whenever I've mentioned something other than missionary with the light off, I've got in trouble :)

Rules; yup, my ex (who liked groups stuff) and I had pretty much the same, condoms, not in our bed, safe word.

Communication; this is most definitely the key. Open and honest comms is vital, and not just for this side of life either.

Good on you all, I'm wishing you well :) and then perhaps you can tell my totally hot and lovely wife that is fun, not threatening...

its weird eekaman.....i am a (very) large woman, and i always had hangups about my body and thought that only my DH found it sexy (because he HAS to...hes my other half LOL) but on dipping my toes into the swinging world, i found that actually there are many MANY guys who find big women sexy...i was gobsmacked at just how many, and that they found 'us' eally trully properly sexy!

since then, i havent had any troubles with my body hangups. I could quite happily undress and walk naked/in lingerie/a towel round a club without a care in the world, or strip off in front of strangers. I even did some nude/topless/lingerie photo shoots for photographers on a modelling website who were testing out new lighting/processing/editing techniques, in return for my photos on a cd.....id never have done that before in my life!

i love the confidence it gave me, not just in sex, but with myself and in all walks of life!

I'm v self conscious about my weight too. The FFM I had was with my friend who is 10 years younger and very slim, and a really hot guy...I was gobsmacked they would be interested in chubby old me but they were!

Agree about communication. We were able to agree ground rules upfront. The one thing that's been a real problem is that DP didn't want me to tell my close girl friends. That's caused some friction. Also, it's definitely easier for me to get dates-there are just a lot more guys out there looking for no strings, which is hard on DP. I was initially a bit like a kid in a sweet shop but have settled down now and have 2 male FWBs plus my bi female friend. DP is more into the idea of clubs so I think we'll do that again.

On the subject of communication and clear ground rules in these matters, please can I ask you lovely people for your opinions about something?

Its about the whole "playing alone"/"open relationships" thing

When I got together with dp, he lived far away, so we only met once a month. I started swinging because I wanted to try bi-sex and 3sums. He was excluded from this for practical reasons and also because I secretly wanted to dabble alone before trying it with a dp. I considered myself still single because seeing someone once a month does not constitute a relationship in my view. He felt a bit jealous and left out, but accepted that I was going to dabble anyway.

Now he has moved closely and we see each other regularly.

He had a sex with a female swinger friend of his a few weeks ago, whilst abroad in his home country. He didn't tell me but on questioning, did "admit" it.

I was livid and feel as though I have been betrayed and cheated on, because 1) he didn't tell me beforehand (he said it was unplanned) or immediately afterwards and 2) she is a single woman and therefore I feel threatened by her.

His view is that he was only doing what I was doing and he says he genuinely didn't think he was doing anything "wrong", as I had had lots of swing dates i.e. had sex with several other couples whilst seeing him. He said they spent the entire evening talking about me and the fact that I was swinging and then she initiated sex. He says that she, a long time swinger, also thought it was OK because she was under the impression from what he said about me (that I met other people for sex without him) that I would be cool about it. I think their idea was that we could all three get together in future, as she and I both have an interest in swinging and bi sex. She has offered to show me around their city and take me to some swing clubs in that country etc. He has known her for years and been to swinger clubs with her. They have occasionally had sex but never had a relationship because he says they are primarily friends.

My view is that me meeting a happily married couple for sex is not a threat to our relationship, but that him meeting a single woman is a direct threat. Also I 'fessed up about it and even told him beforehand and asked if he was OK about it. He did not tell me or ask if it was oK.

I think that I led him to think that I wanted an open relationship. But now that we are seeing each other regularly, I actually want us to be monogamous - although we can have sex with others if we both agree beforehand and are all in the same room. He has agreed to this now but I still feel pissed off with him about that woman.

AIBU?

Thanks!!

Hello NaughtyJezebel.

I can see why you are pissed off with him. But, had you talked about this upfront and set rules which he has broken? Or did you both have different assumptions about what was ok?

Assuming it's the second and he is generally trustworthy, i think you should be prepared to let it go and forgive him this screwup or misunderstanding-this time anyway.

But you do need to have an upfront discussion now about what your boundaries are, and what you want-Ie swinging together ok, playing separately not ok. There's no one size fits all solution, it has to be by mutual consent but what you are ok with is different for everyone. Hope you can reach agreement.

Hi Soconfused, thanks for your reply! No we had not had that conversation at that point. We had never discussed being exclusive or any groundrules.

He has agreed my groundrules ie. No sex with external parties unless we both agree it in advance.

I guess the fact that I was 100% open about my liaisons and he was not upfront about his has left me wondering whether he is a sneaky person and feeling foolish that I was honest, whereas he was covert ie. He carried on as normal without mentioning the liaison.

i dont think he was sneaky, i think he was just mistaken is all. He assumed, rightly or wrongly, that it would be ok, because you hadnt had the convo abotu what you expected.

I would say to avoid him and that he was sneaky IF he did it once you had had the conversation about what you expected, and you both had agreed on what was acceptable in your relationship or not.

Im with socon....give him another chance, agree your ground rules and boundaries, and enjoy!

Wellthatstornit - thanks. I think my insecurity and jealousy means I keep revisiting that "incident" in my head.

Yes perhaps I should believe him.when he says he thought it was within the rules as he didn't see it as different to what I had been doing.

Thanks - will try and move on from that and consider it as a blip, rather than some hugely significant bad sign

Well Jezze B,

What rules did he break? And why should you feel threatened by her?

It's clear she has a life style she likes, so why would she want to change it? If I were you, I'd have a chat about playing solo, whether it is or isn't permitted; define boundaries, tell him you are pissed off with him, chalk it up to a part of leaning about each other and move forward together.

With my bi ex, we agreed that neither of us would deliberately go out and play, nothing planned or arranged, but if something very special was on offer, well... what right did either of us have for causing someone to miss out on a special event? (Plus she was very hot and was overwhelmed with offers, all the time, both genders. Me, nah, not quite so many offers :) )

And as for you ThatsTornIt, how wonderful for you to make this break away from your body hangups. Brilliant, and well done to you.

And how utterly unlike MN's regular advice on how to deal with self confidence. Tbh, I can't see it becoming established MN procedure, but I'm very pleased to hear it's worked for you. It must have taken a lot of effort from you, well done.