First time Anal sex

[Chocolatecake105]

Help need all the advice I can get!

I've never done anal before and I'm up for trying it but It's likely to happen when I see him tomorrow!! I'm worried about him getting it in as he's not on the small side, I do have lube though!

Do I try and poo before??? Then should I bath/shower after that? I want to be clean!

Is this going to go horribly wrong and I'll end up shitting on his dick!?

Any helpful advice TIA

I'll bite.

Is this actually something you're interested and excited about trying or is it (as it comes across in your post) something that your partner has suggested and you've gone alright then, let's give it a go, why not?

Yes agreed, fingers to knob is a "stretch" but for me, going straight to anal sex because of a sense of curiosity or because somebody has suggested it is bizarre, likely to be uncomfortable for you and, generally, not massively recommended. If you're already comfortable with anal play and you like the feeling of having a finger, or some gentle pressure, or toys, or whatever it is but you already know that you like something around that area, how you like to do it, what turns you on in that kind of direction (for example, do you need/enjoy additional stimulation at the same time?) and you're looking to (ahem) "expand" then that is different. But this is not one which should be ticked off like some kind of "things to experience before you're 75" list. If you're not into it it can hurt and it can cause damage.

If you are going to do it anyway (or even if you decide to do the build up exploring first) then go slowly and definitely stop immediately if it hurts. It shouldn't hurt and doesn't hurt if you're into it. If it hurts you might be causing damage.

If you don't use a condom, it's messy afterwards.

No, I wouldn't. "up for trying" suggests to me that it's possible that it's not her idea. I just wanted to remind her that if it isn't, it's fine to say no.

Backto - No, because let's get real here, blowjobs are far more likely to hurt the recipient than the giver if they go wrong. Whereas anal is a pretty dangerous thing to be experimenting with. If she was asking for advice on BDSM or breath play I'd be giving the cautious advice, too.

backtothecaveman and your point is?? She judges them? She laughs?

And would like to add that there's nothing wrong with experimenting with dangerous things and indeed, dangerous sex practices can be a lot of fun. But it's mad to try something potentially dangerous to yourself on a whim or because somebody else thinks it's a good idea. Go into it because you want to, not because you feel like it would be a nice thing to do for someone else.

Imagine desperately needing the biggest poo in the world ever but you can't push it out and it keeps crawling up your arse.

That's sort of what it feels like.

Imatter did you major in romantic poetry?

It most definitely doesn't feel anything like needing a poo.
Also you can't compare wanting to try anal sex to someone's experience of it going in by accident. If it was worth force and no lube and totally unexpected then of course it will hurt.

With force! Damn autocorrect!

It absolutely 100% felt like needing a poo for me. Maybe not for you but definitely for me.

He needs to spend a lot of time dilating you first.. If he doesn't and tries to just stick it in then don't do it as your arse will hurt like a bitch for days.

If he doesn't want to stick his fingers up there then don't let him stick his dick.

Use a condom and don't mix and match with the usual hole or you could end up with a nasty infection.

Everyone's experience is obviously different. I found it was pain free and nothing like needing to go to the toilet.
All I advise op is plenty of lube, take your time and relax and enjoy it, you'll know pretty soon if its for you or not.

Benedict - MN should have a thumbs up or like button on posts. I will give you a instead.

In the mean time it's back to the gravel pit for me ,

It really makes me sad the way people think it's okay to jump in a thread like this and post "ewww that's where your poo comes out, yuckeee!" type stuff.

Aren't we all adults? Don't we afford every poster here the respect that they are capable of consenting for themselves?

OP, if you went ahead, I hope it went okay and you enjoyed it. For future reference, you might want to pick up some lube specifically for anal use as the standard ones can sometimes not last long enough or be thick enough (because the vagina produces it's own lube which is added to whatever you apply, but of course the rectum doesn't.)

I make sure I've had a shit at least within 8 hours, obviously have a shower as normal, and use an anal douche if you're worried about any poo coming out.

Anal should never hurt. If there's pain, you're in danger of damaging yourself, so stop. Anal needs to be at a much slower pace than vaginal. You will probably feel a stretching sensation the first few times, just like when you first started having vaginal sex!

Don't allow him to go - either with penis or fingers - from your bum to your vagina.

If you don't/didn't like it, don't feel under pressure to do it again. Some people like anal, some don't. There's nothing wrong with either of those two options, or in the middle ground of "yeah it's okay but I wouldn't want it every time."

Nobody posted that, pocket. Talk about a straw man argument

And nobody has assumed a lack of consent. Consent, TBH, is pretty meaningless. Consent is, at a bare minimum, "Oh go on then, I suppose, it wouldn't be that bad". Sex, especially for women, especially for particularly risky practices deserves more than this. It should be something we actively and enthusiastically seek out, if and when we desire it, rather than something we passively receive.

It is naive to assume that "we're all consenting adults" makes everything okay. It doesn't really make me sad that people think that it does - good for them and I'm glad that all they have ever experienced is mutually enthusiastic and enjoyable experiences with no coercion. But we live in a society which condones sexual coercion and for many men and women it IS totally normalised. Just look at some of the threads on Relationships. Consent (and enthusiastic participation) is a conversation we need to keep on having. It's relevant to bring up on a thread like this. It's not prudery and I won't apologise.

I'm not up for that at all. If any fuckwit tried to talk me in to that, I'd be off. NO second chances. Don't be a doormat.

Wanting to experiment doesn't make you a doormat F0xglove

In the words of Carrie Bradshaw "it's not my favourite thing on the menu but I'll order from time to time"

ok, whatever you think.....

The OP sounds nervous and keen to please to me, but if it's "experimental" then that's so cool. Well done for being cool

What did you post(s) add to the Op's request for information F0xglove?

I will tell you.... Fuck-all. So you don't like anal, like we give a fuck.

This a Sex Post area and Op asked for help in a certain area. If you don't like the questions, don't read the posts in this area. The people posting on here trying to claim some "moral high ground" piss me off.

she might love it. Yknow plenty of people do, both men and women

Foxglove, why do you think that wanting to try anal sex = doormat? Do you usually judge women for their sexual activities?

Doormat...

Oh Foxglove. I am the furthest thing from a doormat in bed that you'll ever find.

And Bertie yes I know nobody posted those exact words, that's why I said type stuff.

Every time anal comes up (har!) on this board, there are a number of people who take their starting position as "Don't let him talk you into it!" and "He wants it because it's in porn!"

People have been enjoying anal sex for millennia. Like, a really long time before PornHub.

Well said Bertiebotts