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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

pfb -in fact only child - off to secondary on Thursday...

788 replies

MaryAnnSingleton · 02/09/2008 08:07

am being calm but every so often panic strikes me - ds is fine about it, it's just me fretting about roads to cross/ money for the canteen - will it get lost/stolen, what about the lockers, arghhh ! Plus,as with the beginning of every term,I'll miss him - I love having him here in the holidays !
It also means that I have no excuses not to sit at my desk and work on the job I'm meant to finish by the end of Seot...

OP posts:
christMAScomesbutonceayear · 04/12/2008 11:23

no,that's Surrey ! I've only ever been to Yorkshire once but really liked it - my friends parents lived there (Gillamoor/Kirbymoorside) - lovely !

OrmIrian · 04/12/2008 20:49

{shock]

OrmIrian · 04/12/2008 20:49

Sorry that was meant to be

OrmIrian · 04/12/2008 20:52

He is involved, interested, lively in just the right way, sits at the front, speaks up, isn't afraid to speak even to give the wrong answer, is on a level 4 or 3 for everything. His latest science assessment put him on a 5c.

DH and I had to keep pinching ourselves to remind each other this was the same child.

roisin · 04/12/2008 20:56

Fantastic OrmIrian
How was the evening for you? Did you have to stay for hours as you feared, or did you manage to sneak in some appointments early?

OrmIrian · 04/12/2008 21:08

Oh yes. Hooooursssss! We did manage to fit some appointments in early but even so we were there at last knockings. Completely disorganised chaos. But good-natured. Anyway we floated out of that hall

magentadreamer · 04/12/2008 21:13

I bet you were really pleased Ormirian!

OrmIrian · 04/12/2008 21:14

Yes. Just a leetle bit.

christMAScomesbutonceayear · 04/12/2008 21:46

oh that's fab Orm !!

bellaBuonNatalevita · 04/12/2008 21:48

Well done Orms DS

Have to wait till around April for ours.

OrmIrian · 05/12/2008 09:39

Thanks.

Still feeling a bit shell-shocked. Any secondary teachers out there? Do you tend to sugar-coat the pill for the first parents' evening in yr 7?

I am still having trouble beleiving it's the same child. Honestly. Not complaining obviously. We told DS how pleased we were with him. He just said 'huh, shows I don't need to make an effort' Could have killed him!

roisin · 05/12/2008 16:58

OrmIrian - at the school I work at teachers tell it like it is. They try and say positive things as well as negative and targets for improvement.

But if things need saying, they say them, especially for yr7 first parents' evening, as for some children that's the only time the parents will come into school for the next 5 yrs

bellaBuonNatalevita · 05/12/2008 18:13

Tomorrow, DH and I are having to go see another boys parents .

He is an old primary school child.

He will not leave DS alone, although they were friends in the summer holidays, they slept over, I have fed him on lots of occasions, but he seems to go from one friendship to another.

Tonight on the school bus was the last straw, he has pulled the hood off DS's coat, torn the collar it was attached to and the buttons have gone awol. A yr10 boy asked him to leave DS alone and he was cheeky to him.

He comes down our street, everyone plays nicely, then he pushes and pushes until DS cracks, DH had to go out last week and say something (DS has got a huge black mark on his back where he was pushed into the privet hedge).

The boy was told off by a teacher just before half term for repeatedly pushing DS over and on the last day of term he constantly banged DS's head on the floor (despite him being unwell), that night he literally collapsed through the front door and was hysterical.

When we say anything to him he is just cheeky back (I have even and I know I shouldn't have done) rang his mobile phone (no courtesy of DS) and said enough was enough and we would see his parents if it did not stop which it hasn't.

My thoughts on this boy (even though I have taken him into my house) have never been favourable - stems from about Yr3 when DS's sweat shirt went missing for a month and he was wearing it. The teacher literally had to go and look at the back of the labels and see who had it. It came back to me filthy with extra's on the sleeve from his nose!

I don't think (based on what I have seen) his parents have got any control over him. They both work full time, Dad works away quite a bit and the boy went to kids club and now a child minders. He says what he wants and he gets! This bit has come from his mum - who is really quite nice.

Wish me look girls!

roisin · 05/12/2008 18:19

Good luck!

I would also report the school bus incident to school. Do they have a system of monitors on the bus?

Presumably he lives near you too, as well as going on the bus with ds; so it isn't going to be easy for your ds to avoid him completely? Though as a family you could try and distance yourself from him as much as possible?

bellaBuonNatalevita · 05/12/2008 18:37

The school bus does have monitors - and one of the said monitors sits for us occasionally when we go out. I asked DS if S was on the bus and he said yes, but did not see the incident. I have asked him to go and tell S on Monday morning, but on thinking about it, do you think I should ring him myself and ask him to report it? He has always said for DS to go and see him with any matter.

Yes, the boy does live near us, not on our street thankfully, but as you say it will not be easy for DS to avoid him going to school.

I have just read my earlier post back (sorry am rushing - about to go to work) and it sounded as if I was judging his parents working full time - I wasn't, it is just the impression his mum gives out that he is a spoilt little ... and they take it because they feel guilty.

Will let you know the outcome.

magentadreamer · 05/12/2008 19:19

Hopefully by seeing his parents you will be able to sort the situation out. I don't envy you but hopefully the parens will be reasonable!

roisin · 05/12/2008 20:41

I would phone S definitely, and ask them to keep an eye out.

christMAScomesbutonceayear · 05/12/2008 22:17

oh good luck bellavita - will be thinking of you xxx

bellaBuonNatalevita · 06/12/2008 00:17

luck gah!

bellaBuonNatalevita · 06/12/2008 10:43

Well, we have not gone!

On waking up this morning, DH said he spoke to DS last night and although this boy is responsible for DS's coat, it was not quite as he told the story to me.

DS made it sound that he was sat on the bus with coat on and this boy was sat behind and pulled the hood which was buttoned on, buttons flew off, tore material.

What actually happened - DS on bus, coat in his bag. Took the coat out of his bag to put in and the said boy snatched the coat off DS, DS tried to snatch it back and pulled it, this boy would not let go, DS pulled harder and that is when the hood thing occurred. Although a Yr10 boy did tell him off and he was cheeky back as DS said.

Now to me, it is still this boys fault, he should not have snatched the coat it does not belong to him. But DH thinks that DS should not have snatched it back - just ignored the situation and go upstairs to get the bus monitor.

I am a very "black and white" girl - no grey areas, DH thinks things through and has come to the conclusion that it is not worth going to see the parents as DS did some pulling also.

However, the bus monitor is a waiter where I work and he was there last night. I told him of the situation and he is going to give him a thick ear "have a word" with the said child.

roisin · 06/12/2008 11:01

It's tricky when you only hear one side of the story, and you know it's going to be biased? Trying to locate the clear facts within the telling and then deciding whether it warrants further action!

Ds1 has just done about an hour's enthusiastic work on a history project. It's a team effort with 4 people. He was down to design the powerpoint, which he's done superbly, but I'm not sure what everyone else is actually doing

He's gone much less enthusiastically now though to a 2-hr rehearsal with boys' singers for a carol service on Thursday next week.

And he's got another rehearsal/concert tomorrow afternoon.

He enjoys it, but still resents that it eats into his free time.

bellaBuonNatalevita · 06/12/2008 11:19

I wish DS was enthusiastic about homework - well to be fair, if to do with powerpoint etc he will do it straight away and spend ages on it and excels at stuff like that, but as you say when it is supposed to be a team effort and you are not sure what the others are doing..

DS did mention to me about joining the choir (he is tone deaf btw!!) but me thinks he only wanted to join because it got him out of school on some occasions, like going down to the Royal Albert Hall.

Oh, the joys of parenthood

DH has taken both boys into town to get them out of under my feet!

christMAScomesbutonceayear · 06/12/2008 12:23

actually, I'd agree with you bellavita - the other boy shouldn't have grabbed your ds' coat in the first place and it's natural to try to grab it back

christMAScomesbutonceayear · 06/12/2008 12:25

btw, if I'm not on here much this week do excuse me -have not abandonned you all, but my parents have just moved house and are living now just virtually at the end of my garden (house backs on to it) so am busily organising and unpacking !! it's like having two more children though - they are chaotic.

roisin · 06/12/2008 13:32

I never expected to hear this from my children:
ds1 said "I'm not going to the rehearsal P5 on Tuesday, because I've got German. I don't want to miss Languages!"