Do we pull DD out of her show to focus on GCSEs?

[AreolaGrande]

Background: DD is super bright and a bit of a procrastinator. She has never had to put her foot fully to the floor to get high marks before.

She is heartset on going to a local outstanding 6th form college and knows the required grades for getting in.

One of her teachers rang us last night to tell us that she has got a 7 rather than the predicted 9 in her Biology mock. DD thought she'd done much better than this. This is the first result from these mocks. Teacher rang to give us the chance to tell DD so she didn't feel ambushed finding out at school today.

Had a gentle but firm come to Jesus talk with DD where she admitted she's been complacent/not been revising as thoroughly as she should be.

She is part of musical theatre club at school and adores it (although no plans to follow this career wise) and has been cast in the lead role for their show in the summer. Rehearsals x twice midweek plus a Saturday.

I don't want to take this away from her but I feel that is too much time when she needs to be prioritising her studies?

DD is of course horrified at this suggestion and had vowed to knuckle down as of now.

Are we.being too reactionary/harsh?

Obviously only one grade has come back so far but DD admits she thinks the rest will be lower than predicted.

You'd be crazy to do this

I really don't understand this parental need for children to get the highest grade possible. Wanting the best outcome for one's children is perfectly normal. As is all the worry about their futures.

Living your life vicariously through your children isn't at all healthy though.

But I say that married to someone who was relentlessly pressured academically, got into Oxford on an unconditional (having sat their own entrance exams way back when) and spent three years pre graduation (with a first no less) being utterly miserable because his mother stripped all the joy out of life and learning for him with her relentless hot housing.

Took him years to recover.

He's happy in his job now. Same area and pay scale as me.

With my happy clutch of As and Bs and even one C and a 2:1 from a reputable Russell Group who let you in without even glancing at your GCSEs.

There are only so many vacancies for careers in the top 2% of anything.

So where do all these grade 9 geniuses go? What happens to them?

It's like wasps in winter!

Most people end up in pretty normal jobs, with pretty normal lives.

If they're fortunate, they're happy and fulfilled with it.

Isn't good enough for what? We absolutely must not be teaching children to measure their worth by numbers on a GCSE results card. You can work bloody hard and get a 7 because your cat died the night before. As long as they learn from the experience of doing GCSEs and carry that through to the next stage in life, that's all that matters!

Pushing themselves and gentle encouraging to do so- yes.

Forcing them to withdraw from the things they love and using threats to coerce them into revising- no.

Ridiculous pressure. I used to be a teacher. Most kids who got 7s in mocks managed to get 9s in the real thing.

If want to push your daughter away, be unduly harsh and alienate her — plus remove a much needed chance for stress relief and enrichment — sure, go ahead.

Highly recommend taking a very large chill pill.

I think it is up to the parent to help them “see the bigger picture”. Dd1 paused her Saturday job from March year 11. Started it up again after the exams but getting the highest grades she could was more important than working in a cafe for abit of extra money for those few months. It took out all of Saturday and she was tired afterwards. She is set on a very competitive course and career and yes they do look at gcse results.

GCSEs are very content heavy now more do than when we were at school and just being “very bright” isn’t enough.