Year 11 Child moved from Scotland to England and content to learn overwhelming - son doesn't want to even try

[Stressbucket1973]

I have a son in Year 11 - we moved from Scotland to England and the difference between National 5's and GCSE seems vast. He has so much content to learn before the exams. He has mocks in November and hasn't got a clue. He is so overwhelmed that he has just given up. He won't talk to us or even try. He is also dyslexic and the amount of work to get through is daunting. The school are trying to help and given us the areas he needs to focus on. but he has set his mind that he will fail so why bother. I can't get him to sit down and concentrate.

I feel like we are constantly harassing him to study or work or do anything... he just won't sit down and focus. He just want to game or go to the skate park and escape. He says he's thick and won't pass so why should he bother. He doesn't like school and is feeling totally overwhelmed.

The school allowed him to drop one subject but the issue is combined science being mandatory. He only had to do Physics in Scotland so he now has to catch up on chemistry and biology topics that others have been studying for over a year.

I'm at my wits end and my husband and I don't know what to do. We are trying to help and support but I feel all we are doing is making our son feel worse. I really don't know how to get him to want to try. There seems to be a lot going on for him and I'm wondering how we help him to try... I'm desperate and stressed out - any advice would be most welcome.

Why did you move a Year 11 child?

Not probably the suggestion you're looking for- but can he move back and finish his education in a country and an education system he actually knows? To have him change at this stage, as you've found, would be bloody difficult for anyone.

Poor kid. I don’t have any suggestions other than dropping as many other non mandatory subjects as possible or moving back to his old school.

it’s such a terrible time to move schools, let alone countries that I can only assume that you absolutely no other option.

Could he go back to year 10?

Moving at this stage is very challenging, even without dyslexia thrown in. I'm surprised your weren't advised against it. Could he go back up to Scotland and stay with family/ board until the end of year 11 then move for 6th form? Could he do a distance learning type thing that they might do eg in the highlands/islands so he can carry on the Scottish system temporarily?

Can you ask if he can go into year 10. It would be challenging if he'd been preparing for GCSEs to move in year 11, but changing from Scottish to GCSEs makes it worse.
My cousins all were advised to drop a year when they moved Scotland to England, even though they were all bright and not at critical years. It worked well for them.

Either allow him to move back to finish Year 11, enrol him in an online school that uses the Scottish system, let him go back to Year 10, or get him many many many tutors.

tbh I agree with the others.
Can your y11 stay weekly with friends/family to finish y11 in Scotland, then go to college in England?
You have given him a near impossible mountain, I'm not surprised he's giving up.

How could he ever have been able to do this?

Poor boy.

Ffs what a stupid move. And what an unhelpful school.

Move school - preferably to one in Scotland. Second best choice - move him to year 10 - even if that means moving to the private sector. Third choice, ignore the school, focus on English Lang, Maths and two others. Pick up another three at college a year later.

He's right in a way, unless he's super bright with no SPLD he doesn't stand a cats chance in hell of passing in two terms.

Splitting the family weekdays was also my thought.

Otherwise I'd be asking the school about him moving down to yr10. Presumably there will be overlap in some areas so he'll fly through some bits

Put yourself in your sons shoes, do you think you've put him in a reasonable position? Poor kid.

Moving into year 11 is a terrible, life-altering and destructive action to inflict on a teenager.

I think you need to get him into year 10 instead, possibly at a different school, or he stands absolutely zero chance.

Good grief, the poor guy. Uprooted from his friends and support network and thrown into a strange country with a completely different education system. I’d be feeling like him and I’m in my fifties and don’t have dyslexia.

Can he move back up stay with family in Scotland? Can one of you move back there with him during the week? Or can he drop subjects and focus on a few, then do the others in 6th from college. You’re asking an impossible amount of him - what we’re your plans for supporting him through this? You must have thought about these challenges and difficulties, and at the moment you’re just setting him up to fail.

Agree with other posters that you've set him up to fail moving him into a completely different system. But Nat 5s are actually pitched slightly harder than GCSEs so it's not that it's an objective difficulty of content issue, it's that he's been dumped in a curriculum he's not used to or worked towards specifically.

New school, year 10, private if necessary (but nurturing and very SEN aware). Poor boy. I cannot understand why you thought this move at this time could be anything other than a disaster. How much support have you and the school put in place to support his SEN needs?

Oh my goodness - what a time to change education systems! He won’t have dove chemistry or biology since S2, so that’s a massive gulf. Can he go and board with friends in Scotland and finish his education? We took in DS’s friend for S4 and S5 in a similar situation.

It is a known thing that once year 10 has started you don't move your child in England. he would be at a huge disadvantage even if he had come from another English school. Adding dyslexia into the mix is a recipe for disaster. GCSE's are a 2 year course, in fact many schools do them over 3 years.

My nephew moved schools at the end of year 10 due to bullying etc and educationally it was disastrous, he failed all his GCSE's.

Bloody hell, how on earth is he meant to get his GCSEs when he’s missed half the gcse curriculum? He needs to either go back to Scotland to finish his exams there in the system he is familiar with or drop a year and go to year 10 in England. I can’t see how he could possibly get through year 11 with GCSE passes otherwise.

Just to echo what everyone else has said; this is setting him up to fail.
Either find a boarding school in Scotland or drop a year in England. You can't expect him to make up all that work in only a few months especially with dyslexia. No wonder the poor lad can't face it, it probably seems like an insurmountable challenge.

It's not unusual for children with dyslexia to feel overwhelmed and panic before big exams even when things are normal. But your poor guy is in a situation which would be very difficult for the most able child.
Can you pick a few topics and write out notes in a simple way and you will have to tutor him yourself every single day. He cannot be left alone to study as that's nearly an impossibility for him with his dyslexia. He would have found the Scottish exams difficult and would have needed you to help him too.
In lreland we have Youth Reach where dc who find school difficult can learn in a more relaxed, highly supportive way. Is there any system like that? Or he might learn better online.

We don't know the circumstances of why he had to move so I'll reserve judgement there. I would ask for him to be put in year 10 asap. And even that will be difficult to be honest. Perhaps get him to concentrate on some more vocational courses? But I certainly wouldn't leave him in year 11. He has missed more than half of the GCSE content. Even the most academic of children would find this extremely difficult. I have no idea why his current school even allowed it.

I agree that it would be best if he either returns to his old school or goes into Y10. Most schools will have covered at least 3 fifths of the curriculum by now. If not more.

You risk his education, short term prospects, confidence, and mental health if you don't take radical steps now to give him a fair shot.

If you really have to persist with his current Y11 set up, does he have any career aspirations at the moment? If he does, focus on the subjects that will help him towards that.

I feel for you. Regardless of the reasons why you moved at this point, it must be hard to see him struggling so much.

Ok just posting to give OP a different perspective, since there's such a pile on.
These things happen, they just have to be dealt with. PPs are completely catastrophysing with the whole poor boy, life altering etc etc.
I personally moved from the continent - a very different education system - to the British isles at 17.
Went from - sequentially - the equivalent of 4th form (i.e. I would have had to do two more years at home before our equivalent of the baccalaureate). Into 6th form here. And sat the exams!
Completely different curriculum, and even subjects I'd never done before (business org). And I have ADHD (finally diagnosed now decades later).
It's not the end of the world.

I am a secondary teacher and have worked in both systems. GCSE content is absolutely more overwhelming than N5, but a key difference is that students in English curriculum schools have Year 9 with a grounding in all potential exam subjects, Year 10 to make GCSE choices, and then exam focus and prep in Year 11.

In Scotland some schools teach Broad General until the end of S3, then narrow down the curriculum to fewer subjects in S4 to prepare for exams.

Switching from S4 to Y11 is just too hard. If it’s not feasible for him to finish N5 in Scotland, I would make a request to drop down to Y10 now before he becomes any more disillusioned.