Year 11 Child moved from Scotland to England and content to learn overwhelming - son doesn't want to even try

[Stressbucket1973]

I have a son in Year 11 - we moved from Scotland to England and the difference between National 5's and GCSE seems vast. He has so much content to learn before the exams. He has mocks in November and hasn't got a clue. He is so overwhelmed that he has just given up. He won't talk to us or even try. He is also dyslexic and the amount of work to get through is daunting. The school are trying to help and given us the areas he needs to focus on. but he has set his mind that he will fail so why bother. I can't get him to sit down and concentrate.

I feel like we are constantly harassing him to study or work or do anything... he just won't sit down and focus. He just want to game or go to the skate park and escape. He says he's thick and won't pass so why should he bother. He doesn't like school and is feeling totally overwhelmed.

The school allowed him to drop one subject but the issue is combined science being mandatory. He only had to do Physics in Scotland so he now has to catch up on chemistry and biology topics that others have been studying for over a year.

I'm at my wits end and my husband and I don't know what to do. We are trying to help and support but I feel all we are doing is making our son feel worse. I really don't know how to get him to want to try. There seems to be a lot going on for him and I'm wondering how we help him to try... I'm desperate and stressed out - any advice would be most welcome.

re 'going back to Scotland' in the week.
It depends massively where they were/are located.
St Andrews -> Cornwall would not be viable, but Edinburgh -> Newcastle would be much more practical and could maybe even be done with only 4 nights away per week.

@Gazelda not sure how but ok?

And even returning to his Scottish school isn't that simple, depending on when he left.

Scottish schools go back mid-August, so if he left at the end of the summer term, he's already missed more than a month of the autumn term.

And the reasons for moving may also mean he can't go back.

Possibly online schooling and private tutoring in the Scottish system might be a solution, with him returning to Scotland to take his exams?

My first thought too :(

If going back to Scotland is not an option, then ask current school if he can be 'decelerated' to Year 10 to give him a fighting chance. If they say no, then approach other local schools and ask the same.

Would you consider paying for him to say do 5 GCSEs privately? In which case you could home educate him?

Moving for year 11 is absolutely awful for a child. Can you ask the LA if he can drop back and repeat Y10? Or fund a private school for GCSEs that might allow him to restart year 10? poor kid.

I’d ask the school to let him sit 5 or 6 GCSEs. Failing this I’d withdraw him from school and let him learn 5 or 6 igcses, learning online. There are various exam centres, home Ed face book groups and tutoring (online, self directed, in person) he can access.

I doubt the OP is going to come back to this, given how negative a move it was obviously going to be for her child.

There could be good reasons to move I suppose.

Things I would consider:

• one parent moving back - it’s only for 9 months (though he’s already got to catch up as Scottish schools went back in August)
• boarding him with a friend or family member
• finding a non selective boarding school prepared to take him for a year (long shot but I’d look if it could be afforded. Pricy, but a fixed cost - and worth it to pass exams)
• helping him find a college course to aim for and then choosing a strategy to get the qualifications for that (e.g. he may only need to pass less exams)
• tutoring
• deceleration to Y10 (I’d hate that as a kid!)
• talk to him openly about just getting through maths & English and starting again in Y12. Take the pressure off Y11 and accept that he’ll do a L2 course in Y12 before getting back to where he might have been at L3 for Y13/14

He needs to go back to Scotland or drop to year 10. He is right. He has no chance.

Ok hands up here I haven’t RTFT because I haven’t got the patience so I’m responding to your OP not any drip feeds but!….sorry what a monumentally bad situation! You’ve basically screwed him over educationally, he’s going to leave school with no exam results practically, the poor kid is in a very bad situation! Poor poor kid i really feel for him what a sad situation.

This. He cannot do a two year course in one year. He has missed well over half the content.

awful decision to move countries at exam time.

is there s relative he can stay with and attend his previous school?

i once taught a girl who moved form scotland to england and she dropped down a year.

Just seen someone suggested online home learning with scottish system tutors. Thats a good alternative. Attending an english school is literally a tick box at this point. He will get nothing from it.

If you have any relatives still in Scotland, I'd look into him moving back there. As I'm sure you've now realised, moving your child in such an important year is a disastrous idea, especially to an area with a completely different educational system. You've really put his at a huge disadvantage

What does he want to do for a career? If he is wanting to go down an academic route then restarting yr10 would be best. If he is thinking of a vocational route then some colleges will take students from age 14 to study core GCSEs alongside a vocational course. It may though be a bit of a distance to travel.

Wow OP you’re getting a rough time on here! I’m sure you had your reasons for moving, so no point in looking backwards, this is where you are and where your son is.
Firstly,take the pressure off him. People make such a big deal out of GCSEs and of course it’s great if your kids do well in them, but seriously, they are not the be all and end all, especially at his age. My own som is now doing a degree aged 30. They all find their own path, at the time that works for them.
If the school are not supportive, then find him one that is, or homeschool him yourself for the year. One of my own kids did a work placement one day a week through yr 11 and simply sat five GCSEs, which he passed and now has a very successful career. Talk to the school and see what support they can give him. Manage your/ their/ his own expectations of what is realistic and achieveable for him, in the time he has.
If he can pass five GCSEs including maths and English, literally no one will ever ask him for anything else. He should also be given the option of sitting single science, as those who take triple science do. Movmg may have set him back a bit academically, but it doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom. Right now, his mental health needs to be your primary concern, because it sounds as if he’s really struggling.

He needs to go into year 10.

can he not drop down a year?

He's expected to sit exams after only a couple of months of the subject? Wow. That school is being horrible, and unreasonable. For that alone, I'd be taking him out of there, he's getting no support.
I assume you didn't move just because you fancied it, but because it was necessary, but goodness me, has this wreaked havoc for your poor child.
He needs to return to the Scottish system ASAP to stand a fighting chance.

The fact you're not understanding how demoralised the move you imposed on him has made him is, well, a bit concerning. He's screwed under current circumstances. You created this problem - what are you going to do to fix it?

I think this might be your best option.
Maybe go for 'homeschooling' withdraw him, reregister him in Scotland.
look at online teachers/zoom lessons and sit the Scottish exams?

Move back or he drops a year. It’s not fair to pressurise him into an impossible task, not surprised he’s given up.

I wondered that too. Terrible thing do especially as the Scotland and England have different education systems.

Even the brightest student would seriously struggle with this. It's not a case of getting him to study more - he won't even know the course content to study.

There are several possible options here: moving him back to scotland to finish S4; homeschooling in England but following the Scottish Curriculum and sitting Nat 5's online; dropping back to Year 10 to give him a year to catch up. Failing that, I'd be getting him private tutors for every subject, and for subjects where he is hugely behind like combined science I'd be looking at a minimum of 2 sessions per week.

No matter how hard tries on his own, he will be very unlikely to overcome the gulf between his current knowledge and the GCSE content. Please don't get frustrated with his lack of effort as you describe it, he won't know where to start and I almost agree with him - why bother because it's an almost insurmountable task. I'm not surprised he's giving up, you'll need to throw everything you can at the situation to help improve things for him.

No wonder OP hasn't come back to the thread. That poor boy is living in an utter nightmare. I can't imagine how horrifically stressful it is for him.

Why do England and Scotland even have different education systems?

As far as I'm aware in 1707 they were both united into one country.