Year 11 Child moved from Scotland to England and content to learn overwhelming - son doesn't want to even try

[Stressbucket1973]

I have a son in Year 11 - we moved from Scotland to England and the difference between National 5's and GCSE seems vast. He has so much content to learn before the exams. He has mocks in November and hasn't got a clue. He is so overwhelmed that he has just given up. He won't talk to us or even try. He is also dyslexic and the amount of work to get through is daunting. The school are trying to help and given us the areas he needs to focus on. but he has set his mind that he will fail so why bother. I can't get him to sit down and concentrate.

I feel like we are constantly harassing him to study or work or do anything... he just won't sit down and focus. He just want to game or go to the skate park and escape. He says he's thick and won't pass so why should he bother. He doesn't like school and is feeling totally overwhelmed.

The school allowed him to drop one subject but the issue is combined science being mandatory. He only had to do Physics in Scotland so he now has to catch up on chemistry and biology topics that others have been studying for over a year.

I'm at my wits end and my husband and I don't know what to do. We are trying to help and support but I feel all we are doing is making our son feel worse. I really don't know how to get him to want to try. There seems to be a lot going on for him and I'm wondering how we help him to try... I'm desperate and stressed out - any advice would be most welcome.

Not sure how helpful this is - I’m Scottish and sat my Standard grades at the end of 4th year (year 11) and then moved down south with my family and started Sixth Form.

I really struggled, even after sitting the GCSE equivalents. And like that I was so overwhelmed - had got all 1s and 2s in my exams but was struggling to scrape Cs. Got kicked out of my German class as they said I didn’t know enough even though I’d done well studying it in Scotland. I was also nearly an entire year younger than most of my peers. And thought what’s the point. Then in mocks my results came back and it was grim, while the pals I made had As and Bs. And it made me get a grip of myself. I never got any As by end of A levels but got Bs under my belt and still got into a good uni.

don’t give up, just gently encourage him - he may have missed half the curriculum, there are options of going back - but make it clear that you don’t doubt him IF he wants to do it.

I’ve not read all the posts on here - but ask him what he wants. Would he rather you advocate for him to go back and start in year 10 (maybe at a different school so he’s not seen as odd by his peers? It’s not shameful at all but can totally understand why you’d be gutted to have to move halfway through).

or would he rather you advocate for extra support, whether through tutors etc? Not being funny, but learning to pass the exams is different to learning the subject…. My standard grade Chemistry teacher was awful and got sacked halfway through the course, and school brought in another teacher who just focussed on passing the exam. Not what everyone is after BUT it happens and worked for me. One day hopefully everything will click and he will get on with it.

others will make it sound like a catastrophe that he had to move halfway through - but it’s so common. My school was mainly military kids so we were all used to it, and so were the school and had support they could put in place.

main thing is just don’t nag him - encourage him that you have faith in him regardless of what he chooses. Much love, it’s a tough thing to go through for your family X

Oh dear OP, moving your son in Yr10/ Yr11 is one of those decisions you will live to regret. Take the advice of previous posters & do all you can to get him to finish schooling in Scotland.

I know that some schools in Scotland offer a 2-year sixth form culminating in A-Levels but this isn't universal

Very few schools offer this. No state schools, some of the super expensive boarding schools like Fettes, Glenalmond, Gordounstoun follow the English systewm throughout, mostly because they have a high % of pupils from England and from lots of other countries.

After Nat 5s, kids do Highers in a year. Those are the exams on which you apply to university. It is possible to leave school after sitting your Highers aged 16.5 to 17.5 and go to uni. In my experience, it;s not something a lot of kids do, most will stay on for a sixth year in senior school. This is a flexible year - kids can do advanced Highers, more Highers, more National 5s or something completely different. The school my kids went to offered the opportunity to get a sports coaching licence, for example.

The benefit for university application is that you do your exams in the penultimate year at school and already know what your grades are, if you are staying for a sixth year. No guessing, no predicted grades. Unconditional offers are very common unless you are applying for something like medicine.

Scottish degrees are a year longer to account for this, but again it depends what you're studying. If you are doing maths or french there is an argument that first year at uni will go over much of the same ground as you did at school in advance higher. If you are doing something you didn't study at school, it's not an issue. Some universities and some courses will also offer accelerated entry direct into the second year of a degree for students with strong passes in Advanced Highers. DS was offered this when applying to his biomedical sciences degree (and didn't take it thank goodness as his first year was entirely online).

But all this is academic as we don't even know whether the boy under discussion is even thinking of uni, or whether his goals are GCSEs then get a job.

Can you send him boarding in Scotland for this academic year. Or are there any friends/family who he would be welcome to stay with for this year?
Poor child. Horrid to have to move to an entirely different curriculum so close to state exams.

I’m sure that,( back in the day 🤔) schools could arrange for children to sit exams that weren’t In the school’s curriculum. I had a boyfriend who went to ‘Polish School’ on Saturdays, and he took a Polish exam at our school. I wonder if the school could arrange for him to take his Scottish exams, somehow? It’s worth asking maybe?

I’m sure that,( back in the day 🤔) schools could arrange for children to sit exams that weren’t In the school’s curriculum. I had a boyfriend who went to ‘Polish School’ on Saturdays, and he took a Polish exam at our school. I wonder if the school could arrange for him to take his Scottish exams, somehow? It’s worth asking maybe?

And who's going to teach him the Scottish curriculum?

Oh, someone upthread already suggested that the teachers in the current school could do that 🙄

Could he go down to year 10? Not fair to start year 11 esp with dyslexia in these circs.

Any way he can go back to Scotland to finish his education?
Really tough, moving schools, let alone two different education system in the final year and with dyslexia that’s really tough. What made you decide to move at this point in his education?

Oh op this really is a mess. I'm the mother of 2 dyslexic kids. DD did her GCSE'S this year. Her cousin. Is doing Nat 5's this year. Only 6 or 7 compared to daughters 10. The Nat 5 curriculum is so much less involved too. 6 poem's for English with no novel or play DN says.Daughter had 16 plus mcbeth and Christmas Carol. Science n maths DN doing what she did in year 9/10 for Nat5 . There is no way he will cope. Has he got a form 8 and exam acess sorted ? He needs to prove normal way of working to acesss and it needs to be done soon. Really I'd try to get him back to Scotland or down to year 10 depending on his age. I'm sure you didn't plan this , as a scot myself I didn't realise just how different the education systems have become until now. Good luck

11 pages and people are still offering advice to an OP who CBA to do a 2nd post

Well, @PorridgeOnToast , we do seem to be going round in circles. Why doesn't he restart yr10?/why don't you take him back to Scotland? have been said and discussed many times.
I hope she's taking some of the constructive advice and working on the situation.

Arrange for him to start year 10 and get the grounding he needs. Poor boy!

@Scylax - you'll note that this has been said and discussed many times.

Yes, adding to the weight of opinion :)

Ok. Even though it's not going to be possible?

How selfish can you be to move your 15 year old to another country during his exams and expect him to adjust to a new education system. Some people...

I did wonder the same thing.

I suspect the OP has hidden the thread - it probably didn't go as planned.

Yep. I don't think she was expecting most people to say that moving a child at that age is fundamentally a disastrous decision, even though a house move may have been unavoidable.

Reading her post again, it sounds as if she was totally surprised by the massive difference. She'd clearly not done her research.

Hopefully she'll look into some of the ideas give here. Wishing her poor DS a lot of good luck.

Years ago I moved schools in the middle of year 10 ( from North to South England) and looking back it had huge consequences for me - mostly socially but to a large extent academically - and I'd never have done that to my dc! Let him stay with family in Scotland for the year.

This happened to me too. I had to drop some O levels because they weren't offered, take up ones I wasn't interested in and even the subjects like maths were completely different ( I'd done SMP maths in the North but it was traditional maths in the south) or they'd started from the other end of the syllabus. My parents had offered that one of them stayed with me up north for the year but I told them I'd be okay but I didn't really understand the issues. And in many ways it changed my life both academically and socially. I really disengaged with education.

Unless there are extraordinary circumstances, a way should have been found for him to remain in Scotland (Dad goes and gets a cheap one-room bedsit or something in the new area until while Mum and Son stay in Scotland and then join him a year or two later, etc.). The OP made a foolish decision. Did she not understand how different Scottish and English education systems are?

So yeah none of this will help the poor OP who has found herself in a situation she didn't anticipate. She doesn't need to be berated. Probably she didn't make a fickle decision, and presumably she didn't have much of a choice.

Perhaps everyone can stop wading in with suggestions from positions of utter privilege (boarding schools! two households!) that the OP simply may not share.

She and school need to take a really pragmatic and flexible approach, so he doesn't disengage entirely, and try to get her young person sufficient GCSEs so he can progress to something at end Y11. 5 Grade 4s if that can be managed. Just English and Maths if not.