Confiscated phone…unreasonable or not?

Batmansmummy · 12/09/2023 11:21

That would be a huge no here I agree with confiscating it if caught using it when he wasn't supposed to buy over my dead body would they be keeping it for almost 4 days .
In my case my child needs it incase of an emergency on the way home or when there out with friends after school . Id be down there like a flash getting it myself .

Iwasafool · 12/09/2023 11:21

I'd find out if he has broken a rule. If he has then I'd tell him to follow the rules, if he hasn't I'd ask the school to return the phone.

Is he at secondary school? If so is he able to get home without being tracked?

BIWI · 12/09/2023 11:22

Presumably he knew what the punishment would be when he was using it?

Tough sanctions from the beginning will stop it happening again!

MrsMoastyToasty · 12/09/2023 11:23

If he's a kid then technically I suppose it's your phone as you're the bill payer. You could try that angle.

twistyizzy · 12/09/2023 11:25

Whilst I agree with tough sanctions on phones to keep it until Friday is out of order for a first offence.
This is why I'm pleased at DDs phone they take in the phones every morning and registration and hand them back at the end of the day. Saves any issues at school.

AdoraBell · 12/09/2023 11:27

Depends if he has broken a rule, also if teachers ask pupils to Google X during a class. My DDs school had a no phone policy and every day a teacher would tell the class to use their phones to check information.

If that happens email the HT and ask why it’s happening when the rule is no phones? And don’t accept “oh it sometimes happens “ or similar.

Needmorelego · 12/09/2023 11:40

For many children the only way they can access the online apps/websites for homework is via their phone.
They need to give it back and come up with a different punishment (detention, litter picking, bring back writing lines or whatever) but don't take a child's access to the internet and communication method.

disappearingfish · 12/09/2023 11:45

Get him a brick phone, an air tag and tell him not to break the rules again.

Starlightstarbright2 · 12/09/2023 11:49

The reasons they bought this in to stoop this behaviour .

I say this as the parent of a child who ended up on a tech ban in school .

assuming he has broken the rules support the school .

TokyoSushi · 12/09/2023 11:52

I think it depends a bit on what he was doing with it. Quickly checking something, it seems harsh. Watching videos, sitting messaging in class, videoing somebody etc, then yes it's harsh, but it's also a lesson learned.

Theunamedcat · 12/09/2023 11:54

I would contact the school and agree he won't have it in school for the rest of the week however its your property and you want it home with you that way he gets his school punishment and you get to know your property is safe

Background on this because it happened to a friend of mine by Friday the phone was smashed school took zero responsibility claiming it could have happened "anytime" it was a new phone (hence him getting into trouble because he was showing off) it wasn't broken the slip they gave him detailed the condition of the phone said nothing about a smashed screen they said he shouldn't bring valuable items into school (fair enough) for the rest of the term he had a brick phone this was really inconvenient for the teacher asking him to Google something on his phone because he couldn't ended up being a whole lot of irritations for the school tbh

Drummend01 · 12/09/2023 11:54

It is reasonable for them to confiscate it during school hours as he broke the rules but it should be given back to him at the end of the day so he can have it outside of school hours.

Our school confiscates phones but you sign it in in the morning and leave it with them for the day in a locked cupboard with a number tag and then go back at the end of the school day to sign it out, this happens each day during the punishment period

greenacrylicpaint · 12/09/2023 11:58

out school's policy is
1st offence verbal warning
2nd phone confiscated for the day
3rd phone confiscated for the day to be released to a parent/guardian

parents are only informed at 3rd. I would ask dc how often they were warned tbh.
but I agree that 4 days is over the top.

FixTheBone · 12/09/2023 11:58

I think they should make him check it in to be held, at the start of the school day, and check it out at the end of the school day until Friday.

The process of having to go through the effort and rigmarole should be enough of a lesson for whatever rule he broke, and should satisfy your need that he has his tracking / means of communication available for the walk home.

Original poster

Fruitflylady · 12/09/2023 12:01

@disappearingfish that made me smile 😁😄
I don’t imagine he’ll break this rule again, that’s for sure! He’ll be absolutely gutted. He’s year 9 now, and the most trouble he’s ever been in was a break time detention for wearing stripey socks, instead of plain black 🙄

OP posts:

Royanne · 12/09/2023 12:01

I wouldn't accept this. DD has her bus pass on her phone and no cash - she needs it to get home. They can confiscate during school hours but not after, surely

lavendersbluedillydilly12 · 12/09/2023 12:05

I think if the school has told you about the rule then it's fair enough. Im a teacher and phones are just a nightmare. The parents who think they can teach their kids to use them responsibly are kidding themselves. Just get it on Friday and don't return it ever!

CatsOnTheChair · 12/09/2023 12:09

Phone confiscated for the day if seen at our place. Collect from office at home time.
Third offense, parents need to collect phone from office.
List resets in September each year.

LifeInTheUK · 12/09/2023 12:17

lavendersbluedillydilly12 · 12/09/2023 12:05

I think if the school has told you about the rule then it's fair enough. Im a teacher and phones are just a nightmare. The parents who think they can teach their kids to use them responsibly are kidding themselves. Just get it on Friday and don't return it ever!

But then teachers are relying on children having a phone to google stuff and do some research…

You have it both ways. Either they don’t need a phone, and a brick phone is plenty (so they can call if they have an issue on the way or the way from school etc…. Or they do need a phone and then it’s up to the school/teachers to handle it in a way that still allows the child to carry on working.

Fwiw my dcs school asked all children to have an iPad instead. It was a nightmare. Students spent the time playing games instead but teachers couldn’t say much because… yep the iPads were a school demand.
And because the iPads were a personal possession, they couldnt control what was on the iPad either.
It was a nightmare fir years - fur the school but also fir us as parents. No way my dcs would have spent that much time on a iPad (or phone) if I had had a choice on the matter!

TaylorsSwimShorts · 12/09/2023 12:17

Our school tried this... I pointed out that my kid didn't take out the contact nor pay the bill so it was in fact MY phone they had confiscated, and that they wouldn't be keeping it for any longer than it took me to walk into reception and get it!

sunandfog · 12/09/2023 12:20

Sounds like a great school! Enjoy your kid doing other stuff for a week...

PuttingDownRoots · 12/09/2023 12:22

Compromise here would be until Friday or until a parent/guardian collects it. Then the parent can chose between their own inconvenience or following the school sanction.

HorseyHorsham · 12/09/2023 12:23

Fruitflylady · 12/09/2023 11:17

Just had an email from DS’s school to say he’s had his phone confiscated, and that they’re keeping it until Friday!
They introduced this new sanction this term, so it’s my first experience with it. He’s never had his phone confiscated before, and I don’t know why it’s happened now as I can’t get through to the school to ask.
I’m happy to accept he’s made a mistake in using it when he shouldn’t have, and fair enough that they confiscate it for the day, but it seems out of order for them to keep it for the rest of the week. We use it to keep track of where he is when he’s walking home, and he can call to ask for help when he needs it.
How would everyone else approach this situation?

So he can’t be depended on to walk home safely from school. He has to pay for a babysitter to make sure he gets home safely.

So it’s the only way he can access the internet for homework. The he will have to ask ja friend to help him out, or accept the detentions for it not being done.

he should have no phone until Friday so that he learns that the rules are not just for ‘other people’

LongTimeListener1 · 12/09/2023 12:28

Teachers have it hard enough without parents second guessing sanctions for misbehaviour. They told him in advance what the (not very serious) consequences would be, he still did it, he should live with the consequences. This thread is just a load of drama that undermines teachers and contributes to ill discipline in the future.

redskytonights · 12/09/2023 12:31

What's the rule at your school?

At DD's school the phone has to be kept in a bag or locker and can't be in a pocket. Anyone using a phone would therefore be blatantly breaking the rule as it shouldn't even be within reach.

I suspect as it's a new rule and new term the school are cracking down hard.
Ultimately your DS used his phone knowing what the sanction would be. So the consequences are of his own making.