Confiscated phone…unreasonable or not?

[Fruitflylady]

Just had an email from DS’s school to say he’s had his phone confiscated, and that they’re keeping it until Friday!
They introduced this new sanction this term, so it’s my first experience with it. He’s never had his phone confiscated before, and I don’t know why it’s happened now as I can’t get through to the school to ask.
I’m happy to accept he’s made a mistake in using it when he shouldn’t have, and fair enough that they confiscate it for the day, but it seems out of order for them to keep it for the rest of the week. We use it to keep track of where he is when he’s walking home, and he can call to ask for help when he needs it.
How would everyone else approach this situation?

I understand that kids sometimes have bus tickets on their phones, but what I don't understand is why that manifests as anger the school enforcing a policy that you and your child already know about rather than anger at your child for doing such a stupid thing when they know that's where the bus ticket is and how important it is for them to have it. I'd be getting them to spend their pocket money on tickets until the phone comes back rather than trying to undermine the school and make special rules for my child.

I work in a school, we keep them until the end of the school day. I can't see how they can keep it until Friday, I'd be on to the head!

You work in a school as what? cleaner? teacher? Head of pastoral? Whatever the title, your disciplinary policy doesn't apply to ALL schools. I'm so amused by all the responses- I'll go talk to the reception or escalate to the head to explain why a child shouldn't serve a consequence. My child would be expelled from his( private) school if I was foolish enough to challenge a sanction that has been detailed and is covered by the parent contract which I signed.

All the huffing and puffing of a bus pass is electronic or having to google homework- if said phone got broken/stolen, what would you do?

OP, your decision sounds reasonable. and your son learns a very valuable lesson

Expulsion from private school is more straightforward. State schools need to work with parents a bit as we can't just go around throwing kids out of school, especially if they're already vulnerable and school is the safest place for them.

Anyway, op is supporting the school which is probably the most sensible thing. But I think the policy is ott. I've worked in a few secondaries and haven't heard of one where they confiscate for a full week without warning, so I do think op's dc school is on the stricter side of things with phone use. Different if there is warning after first offence etc.

I always used to carry a 10p in case I got into trouble on the way home and needed to call from a phone box, as did every other child. There aren't any phone boxes now, so what do you suggest? My DS has a 3 mile rural cycle each way to and from school - if he has a problem (flat tyre, beaten up by other kids etc) I want him to be able to contact me. He does pass one phone box on the way, but it's been converted into a mini library and the phone taken out.

Ds1’s school used to confiscate the phone, then a parent had to collect it from the office - so the parent was inconvenienced and hopefully would make sure the kid didn’t break the rule again - but the kid did get their phone back, without having to wait the week.

He'd better make sure he doesn't get his phone confiscated then.

@Bluevelvetsofa home-school agreements aren't worth the paper they are written on and have largely been abandoned by schools. We returned them unsigned and it was never even followed up. Lots of parents also used to modify them (technically a counter-offer in contractual terms) and return them and the schools would accept them (obviously because they were never checked), putting them in a very tricky legal position if they ever tried to enforce anything in the HSA.

I don’t agree with this. Absolutely confiscate it for the day but not until the end of the week. I’d go to school to get it back.

@StephanieSuperpowers he won't. It's a rural school and they have a sensible phone policy as they know that phones are a useful safety device for children so they will never confiscate a phone overnight. They also don't have afterschool detentions as they don't want children who have missed a bus making a long and potentially risky journey home on foot. Because they actually take safeguarding seriously, unlike seemingly so many schools.

Check out the policy. It is highly likely to be written in there. He won't do it again will he?

What is the back up plan he's been taught if his phone has no signal or battery?

Mine have used their phones a lot for travelling to school, but they need to know how to get in touch with me if their phone isn't working. The very first thing they were taught when they got their phones was never, ever to 100% rely on them.

Melodious thunk. I guess then that your ds would not use his phone in school time.

“Our school tried this... I pointed out that my kid didn't take out the contact nor pay the bill so it was in fact MY phone they had confiscated, and that they wouldn't be keeping it for any longer than it took me to walk into reception and get it!”

What a pity you were so hard line when it came to teaching your child to behave 🤣

Don't be a dick @myfabby with your 'private' school superiority! Where does my post say I don't agree with the sanction oftaki g it off a student. I just don't agree with keeping the phone until Friday, most schools keep it for the day and hand it back with wise words at the end of the day.

@YetMoreNewBeginnings walk to his grandparents' farm if he is closer to it than he is to home. Otherwise just try and get home. He has a tracker on his phone so if he's running late and shown as not moving we would go out and find him. He has pockets of no signal on the journey as it is.

My kids’ school is extremely clear with children and parents that if a phone is seen out of a bag on the school premises it will be confiscated until the following Monday.
That threat seems enough to deter them from using them in school time-even my dd who is addicted to her phone.
my life would be unbearable if she had it confiscated over the weekend but hopefully it would stop her doing it again.
if she needed something for safety I’d get a brick or she could borrow one.

I suspect that along with using the phone, there’s been other bad behaviour

and perhaps the length of confiscation reflects being asked multiple times

I wouldn't allow this, and would rather instruct my kids to not go on their phone when they're not allowed than allow staff to handle their belongings.

Confiscating for a lesson/until break/until end of day is fine by me, but to keep it for a week seems odd.

We didn't have a phone at home until the mid-80s. I was a young adult by then. Phone boxes were irrelevant for a large number of youngsters in those days, so therefore was carrying coins unless you were buying sweets on the way home. If you had someone to ring, you had to find an unvandalised one as well. Ok, I'll concede that there is far more danger from the volume of traffic, but kids distracted by phones probably adds to the risks.

Update for those who are interested;
according to DS, he had forgotten to put his phone on silent and he received a junk call in the middle of his German class. Teacher was quite matter of fact about it, they have to enforce the new rules. DS is gutted; he really hates to break the rules.
I’ve written a polite email to his tutor to see if I can collect the phone myself before Friday (and copied the German teacher in, in case her story is different to his!) Let’s see what happens next…

Sensible and exactly what I’d have done

I think the school are right. What if everyone forgot to put it on silent. Teaches responsibility. I also agree with supporting the school. A united front is needed.

Absolutely unreasonable. Rules must be sensible. Nobody would accept it if the rule said "The phone is to be confiscated for a month" or "The phone should be destroyed" but confiscating till the end of the week is equally unreasonable.

I really don't understand your point here. Having a phone confiscated for four days is hardly the same as destroying property or having it confiscated for a month. You seem quite dramatic.

Fwiw I think you have made the right moves here, OP. I would do my best to understand the reasons behind the decision, rather than go in all guns blazing.