Confiscated phone…unreasonable or not?

[Fruitflylady]

Just had an email from DS’s school to say he’s had his phone confiscated, and that they’re keeping it until Friday!
They introduced this new sanction this term, so it’s my first experience with it. He’s never had his phone confiscated before, and I don’t know why it’s happened now as I can’t get through to the school to ask.
I’m happy to accept he’s made a mistake in using it when he shouldn’t have, and fair enough that they confiscate it for the day, but it seems out of order for them to keep it for the rest of the week. We use it to keep track of where he is when he’s walking home, and he can call to ask for help when he needs it.
How would everyone else approach this situation?

It should be clearly laid out in the disciplinary policy. Our school has both kids and parents sign it at the beginning of each year.

We go for a strike approach. Kids use their phones to access digital materials and know when they can have them. Anyone using phone inappropriately, the phone gets put in the safe and has to be collected by a parent. That can be the same day.

Our best example was the son of a minor TV personality who went without his phone for two weeks because when school contacted (via disciplinary note on the electronic register as all communications are sent) the father mailed back to say "I'm leaving it for 2 weeks so he learns his lesson".

Fair enough until the end of the school day, but not having a phone as they leave school is a safety issue. This is not something I would accept.

I would be perfectly happy for my child to be punished. She could serve detention before or after school or during lunch. I’d even support coming in on a Saturday if they wanted to punish that way. I’m happy to also punish at home to reinforce school rules if that would help. I just don’t want her to be without a phone outside of school or the house under any circumstances.

Thanks for all your comments everyone; it’s been very interesting reading all the varying points of view.
I’ve given it some thought today and have come to the conclusion that it’s best to support the school on this. It seems harsh, but I think it’ll be a useful lesson for DS. He really shouldn’t have had his phone out in school. He knew the rules, and now he’ll just have to suck up the punishment.
Whether or not the specific form of punishment is correct or fair will be something we may bring up with the head teacher in later communications.

DS’s school hand confiscated phones back to children a week after they’ve been confiscated, or whenever a parent collects it.

The first month they did it the Facebook page had parents up in arms about how outrageous it was. The month before summer they confiscated 4 phones (they posted on the page thanking parents and pupils for supporting the policy) - and it’s a big high school - in the whole month so it works.

If you go against the school you are teaching him that he doesn’t have to abide by their rules. Surely it’s a basic of good parenting that if you threaten a consequence you must follow through? If you don’t like the rule you can discuss it being changed with the school or move to a different school, but while the rule is in place you should support the school in enforcing it. If parents are undermining the school’s authority it becomes impossible for them to keep discipline and everyone suffers.

Good update Op.

A few years ago I worked in a school where if phones were used it was an automatic four week confiscation.
The first term of implementing the new rule (which we made sure students and parents/carers were fully aware of) we had to buy a bigger safe as we had SO many.
At the beginning lots of parents came and tried to 'demand' the phone back, often using the same 'but it's my contract so it's technically my phone and you're stealing' excuse. We would only return it if they then agreed to remove their child from the school and find alternative provision effective immediately. Some parents tried calling the police, and they actually turned up once, read the school policy and said sorry can't help you. The school were within their rights believe it or not.

One thing I will say though is that behaviour improved tenfold. Phones could be in their bag, switched off ready for the journey home. It was the single most effective behaviour policy I've ever experienced in a school and as a parent myself I would be pleased that the school would have such a policy.

Same rule at DD school. And a parent has to go pick it up on a Friday!

Why is having a phone such a safety issue. What about mugging for phones, or stealing them. Are those not safety issues too.

When your child joins a school, you sign an agreement. It isn’t ‘just until it suits me not to’. It isn’t difficult to understand that if there are rules and you choose not to follow them, there will be a consequence. It happens in life, in the workplace, everywhere. You mess up, you take the consequence.

@Ponderingwindow you might be happy to send your child to school on a Saturday as a punishment. Has it occurred to you that it would means others giving up their Saturday to supervise your child?

Before the year 2000 or thereabouts, people went to school, got on buses and trains, walked with friends or on their own and got to school perfectly well. I understand that I’d bus passes etc are on phones, it’s inconvenient, but to inconvenience someone is part of the sanction. Can physical passes not be used for a short time.

Before the year 2000 or thereabouts, people went to school, got on buses and trains, walked with friends or on their own and got to school perfectly well. I understand that I’d bus passes etc are on phones, it’s inconvenient, but to inconvenience someone is part of the sanction. Can physical passes not be used for a short time

There were phone boxes on just about every corner and we all had 10 pence pieces for emergencies so we could phone home.
That meant if buses were cancelled (which happened quite a lot where I lived coming home from school in the 90s), you just went to the phone box and rang home. Or if something else happened you just found a phone box and called.
Can't remember the last time I saw a phone box. Times have changed.

Would all these people saying it's perfectly ok for teenagers to not have a phone on them going to and from school be happy about leaving the house themselves without a phone for emergencies?
I'm not even much of a phone user but I carry it with me in case it is needed.

Once upon a time I would have said "no problem", but DD's bus tickets are only available on her phone. I think some schools are going to have to adapt to that. (There are more expensive fares which can be bought with cash - but is the school going to loan kids cash if they don't have it on them, so that they can get home?)

DD's old school used to operate a policy whereby phones were handed in on arrival and collected at the end of the day. (The local kids didn't bother taking them at all - there really is no need for a phone to walk a mile home.) I can see that it's an admin nightmare to do it for the whole school, but perhaps it could be done for those who break the rules.

Hmm, as a year 7 parent I think the rule has to be to end of day. As it is different now, when we were kids buses and trains had staff, station staff, and payphones were on every street. Now if they get lost there are no payphones and most stations have no staff to help at all.
Might be ok for those who walk and went to to next door primary but certainly a safety issue for those who travel maybe for grammar or for a better school.
I'm a teacher too and if I see a phone I take it then give it back at the end of the lesson, or if particularly rude give to head of year to the end of the day.

Yes, they can. Legally. Section 91 of the Education and Inspections Act 2006 gives schools the powers to enforce disciplinary penalties. This includes confiscating, retaining or even disposing of a pupil's property provided it is reasonable for them to do so.

Our daughter's school as this policy. I actually am in favour of this punishment because I think having had that experience once and the consequences of not having phone for a week, child less likely to repeat.

That parents and children are both massively inconvenienced by the removal of phones - bus passes and train tickets on phones are used daily by most kids round here - is precisely why their policy has worked so well.

There were phone boxes on just about every corner and we all had 10 pence pieces for emergencies so we could phone home.
That meant if buses were cancelled (which happened quite a lot where I lived coming home from school in the 90s), you just went to the phone box and rang home.

Some rise tinted glasses going on here. Phone boxes were often vandalised or out of order, had a bad habit of not being quite where you wanted them, and for instances like the bus being cancelled there would be 50 people waiting for it to ring home and tell their parents so you were waiting for ever. Even assuming that their parents were actually at home and not uncontactable at work/driving from work to home. And I won't go into the time where we didn't actually have a landline at home.

As a secondary school child in the 80s, if a bus was cancelled you waited for the next one. On one memorable occasion where the council had reduced the bus service over the summer holidays and not thought it was worth reinstating when schools went back, I remember waiting for 3 hours.

As I've already said, if your child travelling home without a phone is such an issue, they can ask the school to ring to get a parent to collect them.

My DDs school had this rule. However, the school would keep it until such time as a parent could come to collect it.

I loved the rule and the school is totally brilliant.

I wouldn't complain if I were you.

Well as a teacher I believe in fostering a culture of respect and tolerance not fear and blanket rules. I'd rather not traumatise a kid to the point they are crying and lost on the way home and then 5 years later they are still terrified of you which affects relationships at a level. You can get good behaviour more effectively through understanding, nothing to stop a teacher putting the phone on their desk if they see it out in lesson. No need to go to extremes!

If a high school age child cannot get home without their phone to the point of being "lost and crying" then there is a bigger issue than a school policy.

How on earth are these children going to cope if they lose their phone or have no signal or their battery dies?

I work in a secondary and honestly, I'd ask for it back. Be friendly. The receptionists don't make the rules! Explain why you need it back. I don't imagine they will really argue with you. It's a bit like signing them out when they're sick. You can do it against the school's wishes if you really want.

If you feel as if your dc has broken a rule, I'd also say they couldn't have it in the evenings when they got home (except for homework if necessary). I would also say that if it happens again they'll be getting a Nokia brick phone and an airtag instead of a SMART phone as someone else suggested.

I don't agree with that at all. Fair enough if he has to hand it in at the start of day,collect at the end of each day,and the parents(if they wish) confiscate at home. But it's needed for safety reasons out of school hours.

“inconvenience parents” is a pretty effective way of making rules work so all the issues around bus tickets etc essentially reinforce the effectiveness of the policy. If a parent has to provide more money for an extra bus ticket/take it out of pocket money then it’s working twice a parents tend to enforce the rule at home as well. I would hope a school would adapt this if they know there are income issues but really it’s an extra reason not to use your phone rather than a reason not to follow the rule.

Our school are very strict and it gets taken for the rest of the half term so potentially 6/7 weeks. Before this rule it was a blanket ban on phones even switched off in bag.

I would prefer to have a phone with me in case of emergency (ICE), yes.

However, if the rule is clear and explained in advance, the pupil only has themselves to blame if they are without a phone ICE.

My DD travelled to and from school for a 2 week period (a journey of a 15 min walk and 2 buses each way) when she was 13. I had removed her phone for social media issues and she was aware that she'd be in trouble before she did what she did.

That's in reply to @Gjendefloooo

I agree with you OP, i would support the school

Fighting against it, will only give your kid the wrong impression that by kicking off they could get their own way - and that they are somehow above the rules designed for all

I think you are doing right thing