When did leaving primary school become such a big thing?

[usernother]

I left my primary school in the early 1970's. We had no leavers disco, no special assembly, no graduation ceremonies, no transition days to new high school, nothing. I can't remember my Mum mentioning anything about it. Other than getting my uniform and things that were needed for high school, that's all the input my parents had. Now I can see my SM awash with parents saying how emotional they are about their children leaving primary, one said she cried all the way to the leavers assembly and all the way through it. When did it change to being such a big thing?

We had a leavers disco in the 80s. Including a leavers assembly.

I left primary mid 90s and other than signing shirts nothing special happened. All seems a bit ott if you ask me😂

I think a lot of the current generation of parents have very difficult experiences of secondary school themselves. Mine aren't even at that stage and I'm already dreading them having to leave primary. I think a lot of us are traumatized.

Your experience is highly unusual. Leavers assemblies have always been a thing in primary and they're quite emotional! No shame in saying that. The prom etc that some primaries are now doing takes it over the top imo but a leavers assembly and a hoodie is lovely.

I didn’t have anything either OP. We only signed shirts when we left secondary school! No prom, disco (thank God).

Probably when we started acknowledging that it is a pretty big deal for the children. It's a rite of passage and I think it's good to close that chapter. Yesterday my youngest child left primary school, and as a family we ended our association with our fantastic, community focused school that we have had a child at for the past 15 years. So yes, I hold my hand up to feeling emotional. And transition days are good for children's confidence, I think they're a great idea. One of my DC had to make the move in 2020 and it was much more difficult for him with no transition activities.

90s... special ceremony and disco (with Yr 5 as the school mixed year groups) . Shirt signing.

We do a leavers assembly here and a party (during school time) on the last day, I think it's enough. Transition days are great though it's really good that they are now standard, they're nothing too over the top- someone comes to speak to the children at school and then they do a day there and have a tour and meet some teachers and other staff etc- a lot of the children who were nervous about it found it helped.

I do agree there's a trend to go overboard now which can be counter productive, social media is a big driver in my opinion. Not sure when some parents starting dressing up in "hilarious" costumes to collect them on the last day but it's so cringe and of course taking tonnes of photos which will no doubt be posted online.

Everything seems OTT these days... The cards and gifts for teachers was never a thing when I was at school. Same with Christmas Eve boxes, baby showers (sorry)... I don't know how people afford it tbh, especially with the cost of living! yep, I am great fun at parties

There is some research that says over emphasising transitions can worsen the experience for children.

this is a summary of lots of papers and is interesting: https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01482/full

But this thread comes up over and over on MN and loads of posters say gifts for teachers were a thing where they were in the 80s and 90s. I gave my teacher a gift in the summer every year. Some children did, some didn't. That's exactly the same now.

I left primary school in the 90s and we had a leaver's assembly.

Ah one of those “why do we do nice things” threads.

My daughter has just finished Y6. It was relatively light touch but she and her friends found it upsetting because a) they love primary school b) secondary school seems so daunting for them c) they know they won’t see many of their friends at their new school.

Teachers (not all!) quite like their classes and want to say goodbye. They’ve seen them grow up and it is amazing when you see how much they’ve grown.

What’s wrong with marking the occasion? Is it the emotion you find difficult? Why is that?

I know. My granddaughter asked my last week what I used to buy for my teachers at the end of term. I told her 'nothing' and she was shocked

90s and we had leaver’s assembly, a present from the primary school (a book), disco, transition days etc

i don’t remember my mum crying but some people’s parents did

nothing new, except the social media part so more people know about it

i left primary school in 1987. There was a transition day. People signed autograph books on the last day rather than shirts. I don’t remember an assembly with parents there. There was always a whole school talent show on the last morning of school and I think that included an item specifically for year 6. Don’t remember a prom/disco.
There were presents for teachers at both Christmas and the end of summer.

We gave presents to teachers at Christmas and end of the year when I was at primary school in the 80s-90s (usually homemade biscuits I think). Not at secondary

There's definitely a balance between recognising the milestone and making it a huge deal which can definitely make it seem much scarier than it need be.

Left primary school in 1992. Remember crying - my primary school fed into about six different secondary schools. And it was a big deal - there was a more grown up uniform, there would be homework and lessons with different teachers.

there was a special session for when I left infants (in a separate area) in 1988 too. The top class got presented with bibles and a trip up the church tower.

it is good to mark milestones in life. The happy-sad rollercoaster we’ve been on in the past week as I have children moving on is good.

It's not a why do we do nice things thread at all. I was just wondering when things changed. My own children went to schools that went all the way through from primary to secondary so I have no experience of them leaving primary.

Nothing in 1971. Nor in 1978 when I left secondary school thank god

We had leaver's assemblies in my primary school, the leavers would put on a little play and there would be cake. I left 30 years ago!

There's a quote that I heard years ago about when kids are overwhelmed with big emotions then it's our job as parents to share our calm rather than join their heightened emotional state.
I think it's really important to acknowledge how a child is feeling about a situation (like in this case leaving primary school) without ramping it up for them into an even bigger deal than they had in their heads already. Trying not to make everything into a drama.

I left primary school in 93 and we did shirt signing and there was a disco. Some people got more emotional than others. In hindsight the crazy thing was that literally all of us were going to the same secondary school. We'd done a visit to the secondary school and had a tour, not sure if that's basically a transition day. We did presents for teachers at primary not secondary.

If you had had social media at the time you might have had more of an idea of it going on in other schools. But there wasn’t. Grandparents also have more idea of these things going on because of social media, smart phones etc. mine wouldn’t have had a clue as they lived far away from us