When did leaving primary school become such a big thing?

[usernother]

I left my primary school in the early 1970's. We had no leavers disco, no special assembly, no graduation ceremonies, no transition days to new high school, nothing. I can't remember my Mum mentioning anything about it. Other than getting my uniform and things that were needed for high school, that's all the input my parents had. Now I can see my SM awash with parents saying how emotional they are about their children leaving primary, one said she cried all the way to the leavers assembly and all the way through it. When did it change to being such a big thing?

Fair enough about Xmas eve boxes but we definitely bought our teacher presents in the 80s and 90s

Well yeah if you compare the 70s to now there is loads we do now that you didn't do back then, from bigger halloweens, bigger weddings, bigger birthdays, and I'm sure you did more in the 70s than they did in the 1920s, and there'll be new things in the 2070s. It's just life, if you don't like something, you don't have to engage with it, but life won't always been the same, it is changing all the time.

I think it's good to have taster then transition days for choices/ orientation and some sort of celebration. Mine had an assembly but parents didn't go, they all signed shirts. They had orientation days.
Everything is over celebrated now compared to the past and everything is on Facebook. Pros and cons and wouldn't be surprised if it changes in the future again. I'd have hated my mum putting some big post or pictures up if there had been SM back in the 70s - nightmare! 😀

I left primary in 1978. The occasion was not marked in any way, other than my teacher wishing us good luck! I did have a trip to look around secondary which lasted a few hours, I remember seeing the science labs, but we were back at primary by lunchtime. Teachers did not get presents! I think all the attention on leaving makes the kids nowadays more worried and anxious than needed. There was nothing in 1983 or 1985 when I left secondary or sixth form either!

It's too much! Picking up ds9 yesterday, I walked past a stream of sobbing girls, who were distraught at leaving.

When my eldest ds went through it, it almost put him off school for good. He is socially anxious and has ASD. He also has T1 Diabetes, hypothyroidism and a severely disabled brother.

Leaving primary school wasn't a big event in his life.

My eldest finished yesterday. They had their play and party last week, this week they had a church service (CofE school) where they'd written poems and shared memories about their time at the school, and had an end of term assembly where they were clapped/high fives out by the younger kids. No 'graduation' though a group of parents did organise and fundraise for a yearbook. All pretty lovely. I didn't see any big
outpourings of emotion from any parents, possibly a sniffle or two looking at the pictures of them in reception in the slideshow at the church service.

I wonder if it feels different to the kids depending on whether they'll mostly be going to the same secondary or not? We're pretty urban and our kids are going on to 14 different secondaries out of two forms so there's a definite sense of an ending for this particular group of kids. They're a lovely year and are pretty close, so I can see how it's different for them than for eg my nephew's more rural primary where the vast majority of the kids will be going to the same secondary.

My Dd left primary in the early 00s and they had a leavers do . I left primary in 79 we had a disco for the primary 7s last week of term so that's also a lesser leavers party. I don't think it's unusual to mark leaving primary school.

Left in 85. We had a day trip to the secondary school. No party, assembly or merchandise.

@Scarydinosaurs I think for some kids it's all too much. My DS has found this last few weeks really hard and was dreading his last day. This morning, now it's all over, he's woken up much more cheerful! I think the transition events need toning down a bit.

I was reading a thread on here the other day where a posters child was going to be starting at the secondary school she had a bad time at. Didn't get the chance to comment but felt really awful reading that post. I chose to move 200 miles away from where I grew up largely because of how traumatised secondary school left me.

That said I do think parents have a responsibility to at least try to put on a good face for their kids. They could have a completely different experience and don't need our baggage.

Ah, the Qually. I'm not sure it's called that anymore as I mentioned it to a much younger colleague and she looked baffled.

The Schools around here pipe the kids out which I think is nice and not too over the top.

Because it’s possible for women to have babies in their mid-40s

If OP turned 12 in September 1974 - leaving primary in the August aged 11 - and their DC turned 12 in September 2019, they had their child aged 45, which is hardly shocking.

It's always been a pretty big deal for the kids themselves, hasn't it?

The majority of primary schools in this country are warm, nurturing, child-centred places where lots of children feel happy, safe, listened to, supported and valued

Secondary schools... not so much. Especially with the current craze for running schools along military lines and giving detentions for forgetting pencils. Many aren't very nurturing at all.

It's nice for the children that there is increased recognition of the transition and that it can be difficult.

When did sneering at current parents become such a big thing? Should I blame the parents of the OP’s generation for raising such sneery people? Or was it ever thus and I will be sneering at my children’s parenting?

@Waitwhat23 I think it was an already archaic reference to the Qually exam - qualifying exam, or 11 plus. No longer around in my day (but it is in our part of England even now). But I love it as a word and still gives a glow of the excitement of the Qually Dance.

I went to primary school in the 90’s and we signed each others shirts and had a leavers assembly, we also had a transition day to the comprehensive ‘feeder school’ I remember going…

We went round getting autographs and had an assembly where the top year came and sat at the front and each other year moved back, meant to signify your new start at high school. That was it, parents weren't invited. This was late 80s. I'm not traumatised by it.

Not sneering just a genuine look at it. Some things have improved some things seem a bit overblown and Americanised. I hadn't heard of nursery graduation till last week.

My school and nursery didn’t do this, but lots did a ‘graduation’ even for reception class, with caps and gowns 😂. I just think it looks odd and a bit tacky imo, I mean, they aren’t ‘graduating’ from anything really? Lots seem to love it though and each to their own!

I think when teachers realtors lots of kids never go to parties, or get rewards, or feel part of the community - same as transitions days - some parents don’t take their children to the information evenings or meet the new teachers - schools taken over where parents won’t engage.

Who is sneering? I asked a question. No sneering involved. Stop making things up.

I left primary in the 90s, we had a big leavers assembly, plus a leavers disco in the PE hall. I can’t remember if we did shirt signing, definitely did that in secondary school though.

I don’t actually think many parents are that bothered. It’s mostly nurseries doing it - I suspect a critical mass started doing it and so the others felt they had to. You can say “each to their own” but parents don’t actually get a say in whether a nursery does “graduation” or not.

perhaps you’ve just forgotten? Or your school was unusual? Transition days, leavers assembly, school disco, teacher presents have all been around a very long time…